fear of orgasm: why?

Angelina

he didn't tell me that, but according to the law he has the "Aufenthaltsbestimmungsrecht" until i am 18, so he can offer it to me.

a_father

Angelina But since you turned 16 in a very limited way. But you turn 18 this year, then he has no rights concerning you at all.

Angelina

a_father But you turn 18 this year, then he has no rights concerning you at all.

he will no longer have the right to decide with whom i meet (normally he doesn't do that anyway, because i am very responsible with this topic myself). but i will still live with him, i will get more rights, but it won't work without rules.

@Vanessa is a good example of what I mean

Joh

Angelina but it won't work without rules.

Nothing again rules. But they should be on a lawful basis and not rip you off with unlawful demands.
My girlfriend an I we have rules for our relation. They are based on negotiant in a fair way knowing the given boundaries from the law. If we decide on a rule which would be outside it would be done from both of us freely and independent.
Your situation is fare away from independent.

Joh

Angelina my father has the right under german law to tell me who i can date until i'm 18

I confirm @a_father statement. You father can do it only "in the case of obvious endangerment of the child's well-being".
Which should not be a reason for a ban:
A different nationality, a different faith, a higher/lower standard of living, same-sex love and close relatives. Your relation with Camryn counts already as a close relative and it seen as an important part for your mental health and development.

Angelina it makes absolutely no sense why one is legal and the other isn't and as long as there are major contradictions at this point, it's not acceptable. and to be clear, this is not an argument for the belt, it is only about the contradiction in the law that is unacceptable.

Whit cleared it their is no contradiction. Are you now able to accept the law?

Angelina

Joh in the case of obvious endangerment of the child's well-being

that is not exactly defined and can be anything and everything (do you understand my problem with such laws)

Joh Whit cleared it their is no contradiction.

see answer above it is a contradiction

Joh

it is not independent, that is true, but it is fair because each of them was regularly explained by my father, and i can also give suggestions and ideas myself on how to do it better, which in some cases he also accepts

PS: My suggestions are not always in the legal frame, but as I said, this is a PRIVATE MATTER

a_father

Joh It is always a kind of abuse, if there is a power imbalance between two persons and the one with the power makes the rules (in the cases we talk about here, not in the job, where your boss makes the rules and you are paid for your work).

Joh

a_father It is always a kind of abuse, if there is a power imbalance between two persons and the one with the power makes the rules

I don't think so. If both agree to it it is fine. But it can only work if you are sure who has the power use it wisely.

a_father

Joh I don't have a sexual relationship with a 'constructed' power imbalance in mind. I think of something like a father - daughter relationship where the father rules the sexual activities of the daughter. Even if the daughter is an adult it is problematic, if the daughter depends (financially) on the parents.

Vanessa

HHelen Not necessary, but she shouldn't be allowed when she wants it.

Which is not easy,and wouldn't mean she would do it excessively,even if she can.

By the way,have you started to reduce it at night,too?

HHelen

Vanessa By the way,have you started to reduce it at night,too?

You mean not unlocking for every night? Yes, of course.

Joh

Angelina that is not exactly defined and can be anything and everything (do you understand my problem with such laws)

You can find examples of court rulings that narrow it down. As an example I found one where a 16 year old girl went to court because her parent was against a relation with an 30 year older man in Berlin. She was able to clearly explain in court how important the relationship is to her. The court decided that the relationship is very important for her emotionally and for her further development and forbade the parents to hinder it.
It can't be anything. For your situation the court will decide for your relation. In your case, the court would most likely decide for your relationship to continue undisturbed.

Laws in Europe are much clearer than in comparison with countries of the Commonwealth. For them, what is decisive is what the current legal perception becomes. That is why the court is presented with the judgements that have been decided, to show what it is. The opposite side tries to hold with other judgements against it. Also with us there is room for interpretation, however, always within the law.

Angelina PS: My suggestions are not always in the legal frame, but as I said, this is a PRIVATE MATTER

Yes, it is and I sad already, you decided in this way because for you it is the best solution. I accept it.
The starting point was not your compromise it was the question whether your father is aware of what he is really doing in the overall context of our democracy with its rights and duties.

Angelina

Joh I found one where a 16 year old girl went to court because her parent was against a relation with an 30 year older man in Berlin.

if that had been the case with me, it probably wouldn't have been a problem in principle because of age, my father only ever judges a person's character.

Joh The starting point was not your compromise it was the question whether your father is aware of what he is really doing in the overall context of our democracy with its rights and duties.

He knows that and I know it too, I just think that education should be 99.9% the responsibility of the parents. Even when there ist something (like the chastity belt) that I dont like

HHelen You mean not unlocking for every night? Yes, of course.

how often may it still be current ?

Vanessa

HHelen

You started it soon!

How does she manage it?

And how does she reacted when you told her she was not going to be unlocked for the night for the first time(while she haven't misbehaved,so not as a punishment)?

Angelina how often may it still be current ?

Good question.

Joh

Angelina if that had been the case with me, it probably wouldn't have been a problem in principle because of age, my father only ever judges a person's character.

You missed the main point.
Your father cannot forbid you to see each other. Any court would consider your development and welfare more worthy of protection than your father's morals.

HHelen

Angelina how often may it still be current ?

It depend on few things.

Vanessa How does she manage it?

Much better.

Vanessa And how does she reacted when you told her she was not going to be unlocked for the night for the first time

Protested, but I asked her if she needed so often, she answered no, then no reason to unlock. That's all.

Angelina

Joh Any court would consider your development and welfare more worthy of protection than your father's morals.

right, but every court would probably decide differently, even judges have different views on what is fair for the welfare of teenagers.

a_father

Angelina You just show the judge your chastity belt and the problem is solved. Your father is on very thin ice when he tries to forbid you meeting your girfriend. I hope he knows he is on thin ice at all.

Angelina

a_father

He knows how important the relationship is to me and he has accepted it 100% and now also supports our relationship.

HHelen It depend on few things.

how she behaves ? so if she behaves badly she doesn't get a release ?

Vanessa

HHelen It depend on few things.

Which ones?

HHelen Much better.

Good for her.

HHelen Protested, but I asked her if she needed so often, she answered no, then no reason to unlock. That's all.

Logical she protested.But it is the sort of questions with no good answer...If "no",no need to unlocked,so.If "yes",it can be considered as a proof she starts to be addicted,so need to stay locked(and maybe even more than with a "no")...

How often to you keep hers secondary shield locked at night too,now?

Angelina

Vanessa But it is the sort of questions with no good answer

that's right, i would also answer no to such a question, but that it's not necessary doesn't mean i don't want it 😉

HHelen

Vanessa How often to you keep hers secondary shield locked at night too,now?

I take it off randomly.

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