Ines
As my first actual contribution outside the introduction thread, let me just say: I personally found your forum posts made this a better place. Whether it was organizing threads and keeping discussions on topic, sharing your experiences and giving general advice, or simply the dedication and virtuous enthusiasm that could not only be read but actually be felt in your forum activities and may have served as shining example, how chastity can work when practiced from deep conviction.
You haven't asked me for advice, so I hope you wont mind, if I allow myself to give it nonetheless: When time constraints you, do what is currently more important to you. When emotional turmoil takes its toll, indeed care for that as well and do and seek out anything that is necessary to feel in a way you actually like.
If you speak about conflicts and controversies, I'm not sure whether I know if you mean the same which I could think of. I can just say, that I believe to be able to contextualise, and understand a sufficient majority of them.
Maybe this it not just for you but a more general interjection:
As I see it, we (forum users) don't have to think and feel the same in all matters, all the time. Actually, not doing so and still engaging in communication enables us to learn and transcend our, often inherited, mental limitations.
Just to make this more clear, I don't believe in a simple "just talk and everything will solve on it's own"-world:
I don't say that keeping up communication per se is the only requirement for a fruitful exchange. (Just think of communication that might come across as a provocation, aggression or the like, at first.)
Yet, sometimes - as in an animal that shies away at first or barks wildly or behaves in some other way coming across as unfavourable at first - we often give messages and hints but in a way that is misunderstood at first. One might even go so far and say that communication is always a composition of understanding and misunderstanding, since our neural networks are all configured uniquely and just can't draw the same conclusions from the same messages unless we invest extra effort to understand each other better.
And still, even misunderstandings may become a start. A start of something that will prove to be very valuable over time. (I might put more philosophy and communication stuff here, but there may be other places to go more in-depth about this.)
So, to get back to any potential controversies: Even if they feel like a burden at first, we might as well consider practising to interpret whatever was said or written more benevolently. Benevolence towards ourselves and towards others, which eventually enables us to be more true to our own inner truths, passions, and hopefully joy.
In this regard, let me just point to a poem "Words are Windows (or They're Walls)" by Ruth Bebermeyer, which really touched me. (See for instance here: https://opensourcespirituality.blogspot.com/2014/10/words-are-windows-or-theyre-walls-by.html )
Anyway, Ines, wherever you are and whatever you do, I wish you the best as well. Apart from that, I join the users suggesting to return (whether as moderator or as user without those duties), whenever it suits you.
