Introductions

Kaja

Mr-TM Sorry, but chastity woud not help. You made mistake in her bringing up.
And that you want use cb shows that you sounds like bad mother (or grinding mother, I so that I would be fair).

But I have to say that she is stupid

Kaja

Mr-TM Does she want the baby or she did not know how to use contraception?

Mr-TM

More likely father 😃
A cb probably wouldn't have let it get this far.
But I agree with you. It's all in the upbringing. However, it is not because of how I raised her. My ex-wife did everything she could after the divorce to make sure I didn't see the kids anymore.
Here in Germany, unfortunately, the mother is always seen as good and the best parent. Fathers are always the bad ones. In Germany, if you are a man against a woman in court, you have practically already lost.
By the way, my daughter moved out of her mother's house when she was exactly 15 years old and into a residential group for teenagers. That says it all, doesn't it?

Kaja

Mr-TM Oh. Im sorry.

But what you said confirm that the chastity belt was not sollution.

Renita

Mr-TM She decided to have a child and then made one.

Nothing to do with chastity.

Mr-TM A cb probably wouldn't have let it get this far.

Chastity belts are not for birth control.

toad

Mr-TM When it comes to child custody it's the same in the USA men don't have a chance

Mr-TM

She decided to have a child and then made one.

youdontknowme

If you could not raise her, what makes you think you could have locked her had you only known about chastity belts. If her mother gound out you were planning to lock her daughter's genitals into steel devices, good luck being legally allowed to live in the same state as your daughter anymore.

Mr-TM

This situation would not have arisen with a cb.
From my own experience, it is too early. She met him on the internet and probably decided to have a baby with him shortly after she saw him for the first time in real life.
If you read here you know that the girls who wear a cb know their partners for several years before they are embarrassed to have a child with them. So they know what is coming and they know what the partner is like.
My daughter didn't do any of that.

youdontknowme

Mr-TM What makes you think you would have gotten your daughter to wear one in the first place, when you did not even get to spend a lot of time with her?

Mr-TM

Now do not take that more seriously than that was meant. (I guess I forgot the wink smily).

@Renita Clearly a cb is not a contraceptive. And she clearly chose to have the baby too.

@youdontknowme I knew enough about cbs by that time. And I didn't even think about letting my daughter wear one.

I just got thoughtful when I read here about many girls wearing a cb until they got married. I also should have taken more time to get to know my ex-wife better before trying to build a life together with her. That's why I'm worried about my daughter because she's making the same mistake.

Mr-TM

Thank you, Ines.

Ines

Mr-TM
You are welcome.
Non abusive keyholders, even frustrated ones, are welcome in the forum.

Mr-TM

Thank you for the warm welcome.

Well, not frustriet rather in worry.

Tonyand03

Mr-TM. I understand your frustration and concern regarding your daughter and commend your insight and remorse regarding your failure to build a life with your wife. However, these matters are now largely beyond your control. You have mentioned little about your daughter's partner, other than that I sense a general feeling of disapproval.
I wonder if this is in fact an opportunity to build bridges? If he is in fact a decent person he may well appreciate a chance to reassure you of his intentions. If he himself is emotionally troubled and unable to form a good relationship, the support of an older and wiser person, once he has learned to trust you, could help towards a positive experience for all.
I hope things work out for you in the future.

Mr-TM

Hello @TTonyand03,
Basically I agree with you. But unfortunately this is not a perfect world, so it's all a bit more complicated. I don't know much about him, only what my daughter wrote to me. He seems relatively similar to me. Height, "hairstyle", name... but unfortunately also age (make me again a bit younger than I am 😉 ). A few years younger than her first boyfriend.
Maybe that's why I hope he's good for her and loves her as much as I do.

Tonyand03

Mr-TM DEFINITELY not a perfect world!
I hope he turns out to be OK and you have the chance to build a relationship with both (possibly all three?) of them.

Mr-TM

I hope so too.

Angelina

Mr-TM

welcome to the forum 🙂

Mr-TM Then she stands with child and nothing else. Not even a roof over her head.

then you as a father should be there for her and your grandchild

Mr-TM I hope so too.

you should, i think a healthy relationship with your daughter and her family is important, she needs someone she can rely on. 🙂

Laura

Mr-TM Well, she felt that she absolutely had to have a child at the age of 17.

The same as @hanna_anders

hanna_anders

Laura The same as @hanna_anders

The pregnancy was accidental in my case.

@Mr-TM i hope the father turns out to be better than you expect, and welcome to the madhouse.

Mr-TM

Of course I like to be there for her but on the one hand she now lives several 100 km away from me and on the other hand she doesn't let me help her. And when she is not satisfied with what I write to her, she stops the conversation again, like now. The question is whether her partner influences her.
It is not simple.

Angelina

Mr-TM

yes, it's not easy, is she of age by now? then unfortunately you can't do anything legally, but you can give her the feeling of always being there for her. it's difficult with unsolicited advice, let her come to you when she needs help. 🙂

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