Sara, his business trips vary in length, from overnight to more than a week. During those times, I use the shower head very carefully. It doesn't get in there properly, but it's the best I can do. I also take Keflex as a prophylaxis. I dislike taking antibiotics, but it's preferable to the potential UTI. As for work in thighbands and a chastity bra, that requires some camaflouge. I routinely wear pencil skirts and a blouse, a jacket top or blazer and heels. I look good in them, so that's no sacrifice. I choose structured tops, close-fitting skirts, and stilettos. Since that's what I always wear all the time, it creates no outwardly observable change when I'm also wearing a chastity bra and thighbands. A leather top is particularly helpful in disguising a rigid bra.
We do not have a weekly spanking session to punish me, or anything of that nature. I've read Fifty Shades (dull; couldn't finish it) and I know what a flogger is, at least in theory. But that is not us. Our marriage is not about his punishing me for breaking rules.
For most part, it's not possible for me to break the rules. It's like the belt, which I wear faithfully, because there is no way on earth I can take it off. Spending money inappropriately is impossible, since I have no cash and my credit card is set up so he has to approve every transaction. Going out without permission is not an issue. The pencil skirts have no kick pleat and so limit my stride that I can't walk more than a couple of blocks. My Uber is his account, so I can't ride to a place he doesn't want me to. So where would I go without permission? I don't break his rules because I can't.
Laura, yes, I do regret not being intact on my wedding day. Considering my family and peer group that woud have been like growing a snowman in Death Valley. My mother gave me birth control pills when I was 16. I was in no hurry to use them since my boyfriend was sweet, but incredibly shy, and never moved below my waist. My best friend was the last other holdout in our group and, when she lost hers, I felt I had to. So we did it ... and the earth did not move. Now I'm sorry I didn't wait for Paul to be the one and, especially, that I did not wait for my wedding day. His reaction is that of a typical guy, "We did what we could.", but I feel a loss.