Why it is wrong for a parent to use chastity on offspring.

Kaja

WriterAlexis

Forfeiting the possibility to do things is never the solution...It’s encouraging on trusting herself and her ability to choose the right thing.

Google "helicopter parent."

Milord

WriterAlexis exactly.
I will edit to add something else here

Angelina

Milord since there can be car accidents, she asks you to never drive
since she can be robbed, she asks you to never get out from home
since she can injure herself, she ask you to never do sports
And so on.

and these are also things i would talk to my kids about to find out where the fears lie. if my daughter is afraid to drive, she doesn't have to. if she is afraid of parties, she doesn't have to go out. in general, i would always listen to what the issue is and try to understand her arguments. for example, if she doesn't want to go somewhere with friends because she is afraid, but doesn't want to tell her friends, i would have no problem alibi-like grounding her, etc.
talking and understanding is the key and always responding to the individual situation, i think that's what makes a good parent

Milord

that's sad, but there's probably a false emotional dependency at play here, that's not what i mean with my examples

Milord

Angelina

Angelina talking and understanding is the key and always responding to the individual situation, i think that's what makes a good parent

Totally agree. But understanding is a thing. Encouraging, or accepting is another. Being good parent is also pushing out of unhealthy behaviour.
Will make another example, (yes I’m fond of examples).
If your daughter perform very bad at school, do you try to understand what is going bad? Or do you encourage her to leave school early?
There are things that are deeply rooted in us (I strongly resented my parents pushing me to do sports, while I was totally unable ) and insisting will lead to failure and frustration, and others that can be encouraged.
If your daughter doesn’t want to go parties it’s ok, and your position (talk with her) is totally fine. If she doesn’t want to get out at all, for me encouraging it can be an issue.
Of course talking is the key, but not encouraging everything she wants is a good thing either.
Then Angelina, let me say, there is not a 100% good or bad when you talk about humans. But at least something that is healthy or not should be taken into account
If my son will be determined to became a Benedictine monk and retire from social life… I can only acknowledge this and hope that it will make him happy and fullfilled.

Milord

Angelina that's sad, but there's probably a false emotional dependency at play here, that's not what i mean with my examples

I know you don’t mean this. Still I create my idea based on my experience. This one hit me very to be honest, but I know it’s not universal

Angelina

i agree with you 100%, even if i perhaps see encouragement a little differently in this context. if my daughter is behaving unhealthily, i first need to know what the problem is, only then can we tackle the causes and not just the symptoms

KarimM

Some valid points.

Milord

KarimM

Thank you, you are welcome to discuss them. Which ones are not valid for you?

KarimM

Milord far too many.

Milord

KarimM

So far no one here challenged my ideas, as you can see reading here. Since you say that too many are not valid, can you provide for start at least one point who is not valid? Maybe you are right, let’s discuss.

curious

Milord
To those who read that, please don't follow his line of argument. You cannot conclude that everyone ageees just because people don't want to engage in a discussion with him.

As others and I have said before:
As a fetishist / BDSM interested part his whole perspective is alien to this forum and he simply does not belong here and his constant arguing in each and every thread against all non-BDSM use is tiresome and simply annoying especially considering, that the entire purpose of this forum is about exactly what he is against.
It is simply a 'don't feed the troll' approach not to enter into a discussion with the likes of him.

KarimM

Milord I have no right to reply to your annoying nonsense.

youdontknowme

curious There are plenty of possibilities for use between consenting adults with no risk of dependency abuse that are neither inherently fetishistic nor imbued with the same abuse potential as a parent with a personal interest in controlling their offspring's sex life. Warning about the dangers of such power imbalances is not the same as only accepting a narrow range of uses as valid, or, God forbid, sexualizing the non-erotic dynamics some members here have as kink play.

Joh

curious As a fetishist / BDSM interested part his whole perspective is alien to this forum and he simply does not belong here and his constant arguing in each and every thread against all non-BDSM use is tiresome and simply annoying especially considering, that the entire purpose of this forum is about exactly what he is against.

His point of view is not purely BDSM but is based on well-founded and conclusive arguments. And that makes them very much right in this forum.
On the other hand, I find your way of categorising any other view of things that do not correspond to yours as very narrow-minded or even presumptuous.

Kaja

curious What you were you say it wery dangerous.

Milord

curious To those who read that, please don't follow his line of argument. You cannot conclude that everyone ageees just because people don't want to engage in a discussion with him.

You are right. I corrected the point from "everyone agree" to "noone challenged so far" that seem more appropriate.

Kaja

youdontknowme Love

curious

Joh
His perspective to this forum is alien. As alien as that of an atheist would be in a church.
I might find the idea if a God wrong, not founded in any way by common sense and certainly not supported by any empiric science. But just because I am convinced that I am right and many others share my views, that does not give me the right to go to a place dedicated to exactly those views I object to (i.e. a church) and argue constantly there how wrong everyone is.

Technically speaking, of course the Internet is open to everyone. But so is a church.
If you cannot see why despite your right to free speech it is wrong to go to a church to proclaim atheism would be the only reasonable way, I am afraid your parents have skipped the lesson of tolerance.
And exactly the same applies here with this forum. By name this forum is about chastity before a wedding, so with few exceptions it is exactly about that dynamic between parents and offspring he (and obviously you too) are against.
Still, the fact that this forum is explicitely dedicated to this subject makes those who's only business to be here is to argue against this, trolls by definition.

Kaja

curious You can (even you have to) do it when somebody will use God (or gods) to defent some dangerous and evil ideas.

Joh

curious Our forum is not a church and so your comparison is obsolete.

The forum is for everyone who wants to discuss chastity, the wearing of chastity belts and related influences in daily life. This also includes opinions that are contrary to yours. You will have to live with that as I don't think you will find a majority who support you.

Angelina

curious

I don't agree with him on everything, but you have to remember that (even if he is a fetishist), he is still a father who can empathize with a parent/child dynamic. And he also addresses arguments that do not correspond to his opinion

curious By name this forum is about chastity before a wedding, so with few exceptions it is exactly about that dynamic between parents and offspring

that was the original idea. i think today i would choose a different name, a few things have changed for the worse, but that's not because of the critical voices.
But you made me laugh, now I imagine myself, as a convinced atheist, storming a church 😂

Milord

curious His perspective on this forum is alien. As alien as that of an atheist would be in a church.
I might find the idea if a God wrong, not founded in any way by common sense and certainly not supported by any empiric science. But just because I am convinced that I am right and many others share my views, that does not give me the right to go to a place dedicated to exactly those views I object to (i.e. a church) and argue constantly there how wrong everyone is.

Technically speaking, of course the Internet is open to everyone. But so is a church.
If you cannot see why despite your right to free speech it is wrong to go to a church to proclaim atheism would be the only reasonable way, I am afraid your parents have skipped the lesson of tolerance.
And exactly the same applies here with this forum. By name this forum is about chastity before a wedding, so with few exceptions it is exactly about that dynamic between parents and offspring he (and obviously you too) are against.
Still, the fact that this forum is explicitely dedicated to this subject makes those who's only business to be here is to argue against this, trolls by definition.

I forgot to answer this.
Church and forum that's easily disproved. A church is a place where the truth is revealed to people that listen to it and accept it as dogmatic
No discussion
No confrontation
No challenging the truth

This is a forum. Not a website, not even a blog. But a forum, and a public one. A forum is not a place for revealed truth, it's a place where ideas are challenged and discussed. Comparing it with a church is totally notwithstanding.

@curious and chastity since you continue to challenge my right to stay here, can you explain in which way you are tied to parenting chastity? Of course I will never think that this is not your place. I'm a guest here, it's not for me to decide who is welcome and who is not. But for someone that is so vocal in pointing out who is entitled to speak and who is not, it will be nice to share your situation.

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