First night training

Dakshina

Ines no I don't havd

Dakshina

Greatcornbow I know that I will wear it until the wedding, but I don't know after that, but my sister, who got married, is still wearing one, and her husband keeps the key.

Milord

Dakshina what is your sister idea? She's happy? Probably you will have the same experience as her.

Personal opinion: I value a lot personal freedom, so for me there is nothing worse than losing it. But I learned that there are people who think, legitimately, that a nice, easy, comfortable life, is much better than been free. So maybe it is the case for you, and you can achieve your heart desire this way. Maybe your mother and sister are happy this way, and you see their example. It's up to you.

Joh

Dakshina I know that I will wear it until the wedding, but I don't know after that, but my sister, who got married, is still wearing one, and her husband keeps the key.

I second @Sasha and @Milord advice. Think two times if you agree to wear thigh bands ever. I think it will be go only in one direction and if you agree you have to wear it all the time after.
You should also make it clear that you will wear your belt only until your wedding but not later on. They should hand out the keys to you and not to your future husband.

Dakshina

Today I started taking a supervised practice bath. My mom waited until we washed myself and then I put the belt back on. Then her bath told me to think about the thigh bands and give her an answer. She also said they would have some benefits for me.

Joh

Dakshina I would avoid it. I would make a barging to get something in exchange.

Milord

Dakshina you should ask for benefits before accepting. According to what I read it seems very difficult once you accept additional restrictions to remove them. It's a one way road.

Sasha

Dakshina She also said they would have some benefits for me.

Don’t accept anything unless you know what the reward/compensation is in advance. To much risk.
Even then, I’d say forget whatever they’re offering, only reason you should be wearing thigh bands, in my opinion, is that they provide you something personally. Not to make others happy

Milord

Sasha

this is true for the belt too. In the end she plays a game where others make the rules, and probably can be changed in every moment. See the sister: probably even for her it should have been until wedding, but after she's still belted, just changed keyholder. Tight bands can very easily been imposed to her as the belt has been. I advise against making wall

Ines

Joh They should hand out the keys to you and not to your future husband.

This is very unlikely, at least for me. I think that the natural outcome it is give the key to keyholder, not only for my parents, it will be very embarrassing for me.

Joh

Ines This is very unlikely, at least for me. I think that the natural outcome it is give the key to keyholder, not only for my parents, it will be very embarrassing for me.

When you feel it like this than is it the right way to do but @Dakshina should think about what she would like it to be. If she come to the same conclusion she should be as well that her parents hand over the keys to her future husband. But if she don't like it she should point it out. @Dakshina and her future husband can discuss it and decide on their own how they want to handle it. It is not the business of her parents.

Milord

Ines

Can you explain better?

Ines

Joh

Yes, but, in my opinión it is only a nuisance. I believe that the important is to discuss the usage of the belt with the boy, but that keys go to the husband, I think that would be the most usual procedure for most of us.

Susan

Joh Absolutely! I know my aunt wants me to wear a belt until I get married. She is reluctant to say it but I know that is what she really wants. If I agree to do it there is no way the keys are going to anyone but me!

Milord

Ines
So you want to be a belted wife. Fine, but it is what you want. It’s different when someone is reluctant. In this case she should at least have the possibility to decide not to be belted anymore.

Ines

Milord

I do not deny that choice, in fact I said:

Ines believe that the important is to discuss the usage of the belt with the boy,

I only say that even if it is decided do not use the belt a single second more, the natural step is to give the keys to the husband, not to us. I think it is very similar for most of us.

Milord

Ines I only say that even if it is decided do not use the belt a single second more, the natural step is to give the keys to the husband, not to us. I think it is very similar for most of us.

I know that my way of thinking is very different from yours, still I don't think it's fair. Belting is something going from parent and daughter. If it end with marriage, they should free her, not the husband.

I know that for you it's very romantic, but for me it's another way to say that the daughter is just an item traded to between parents and husband, something that happened in the past. Patriarchy at its highest.

This is of course my personal way to see things. I'm very fond of ownership, but not if given by someone else.

WriterAlexis

Ines

Do you suspect your parents would not give your husband the keys if they do not approve of your selection?

Ines

Milord say that the daughter is just an item traded to between parents and husband

No way. I disagree totally. It can be a formalism, but it does not make me an item. The other way could be even odd for the husband.

Milord I know that my way of thinking is very different from yours, still I don't think it's fair.

Yes, obviously we have very different approaches. Good for the conversation.

Bryan

Milord She is still picking her partner and is NOT being "traded" in an arranged marriage between parents. The keys would be passed from from someone she loves but did not pick (as none of us do our parents) to someone she loves but does choose. It is @Ines choice to be "protected" by her belt and she clearly likes the idea that her keys are controlled not by herself, but by those she loves and trusts. Passing the keys from parent to husband seems like it would be a nice romantic way to show approval of her union and the choices she freely makes.

@Milord I am sympathetic to your concerns about institutional patriarchy but I also believe it is every woman's right to choose any form of relationship that suits her even if there is an element of patriarchy to it.

youdontknowme

Ines I think the most important part is that the bride has the final say in how the handover would happen. Second most important is that groom and bride agree. What the parents of the bride think matters much less.

Could be that the bride is unlocked vefore the wedding. Could be a ceremony where the bride takes the key from the parents to give to the groom. Or vice-versa. Could be that the husband unlocks her for the wedding night, or the first honeymoon night, and then never locks her again. So many ways how to incorporate the belt into the wedding rites, the only thing that matters is that both parts of the couple agree on how it goes and where it leads.

Milord

Bryan I totally agree with you. Remember that I used to be a Master, and slave owner. My idea is not based on @Ines but on @Dakshina situation. And in any case it is a personal idea, as already shared.
I think that any woman (or just anyone) has the right to live the life they want. My wife has been my slave for the last 8 years, stopping just few weeks ago. I think that in case of reluctant wearer like @Dakshina handling to her husband is not fair. Of course even being belted is unfair at least. For sure I'm concerned for a blatant loss of freedom, but at this point mine is an opinion.

Ines

Yes, in this point my position is the same position of @Bryan and @youdontknowme.
The decision of the girl has to be respected, but I think is much easier for everyone the transition of the key from parents to husband.
Other way I think it could be odd for all the partakers.

Bryan

Ines Would it feel weird if your parents handed you the keys and then you immediately turned and handed them to your partner? I know you hate the idea of having the keys to your belt, but a brief moment with them, before giving the up again might be a romantic way to symbolize that you are freely choosing to give your partner control of that part of your life/body and that you are now trusting him with your "security".

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