update: i might have a keyholder!

Milord

alyssame emergency key is definitely a must. In case, a simple sealed paper letter case will do. This way if you use it your keyholder can see it has been tampered with. But as @youdontknowme pointed out, it’s for unplanned emergencies.

alyssame

Milord he suggested i put it in resin then into an envelope so it isnt easy to use freely but i can break it open if i do need it

Joh

alyssame Your relation ship must be based on trust. A sealed envelope with e.g. a signature or word over the seal is perfectly adequate. If you stick transparent adhesive tape over it, the envelope can only be opened destructively. Take a picture that you both have to compare.
As others have already written, the emergency key must be directly accessible to you. Any possible delay or that your KH has influence on the access is to be avoided in any case.

Sara

alyssame You should keep all of the keys. Instead you should let him install a wire security seal.

Good luck, be careful, and I hope you have fun with your new arrangement.

Milord

youdontknowme Cooldown and nuclear option are just two different levels of safeword. Unless you do not trust yourself to not abuse your safeword (and thus need the threat of a ruined keyholding relationship to prevent you from using it too eagerly), a simple safeword for "unlock immediately and talk about the future of the arrangement" will do.

I prefer the safeword option, but it seems that cooldown is often used in key holding dynamics, so it’s worth to mention it
@alyssame cooldown the time between you asking to get out and the belt effectively being removed. It is used to prevent hasted decisions, but it is not substitute of a nuclear option, that is something like “free me or I will call the police”

alyssame

Joh i put a signature over it as well as sealing it normally so it works. we didnt put a lot of resin over the key so its easy to break (we tested), and i gave him the other keys today

Joh

alyssame as long as you have access to a working Key for your CB than every solution is fine.

KarimM

alyssame Go for it.

Greatcornbow

alyssame i finally found a local keyholder! we've been talking a bit and experimented a bit with a keyholding dynamic and i think it works well for the both of us. we've known each other for only 2 months or so but I think i trust him, so is it a good idea to offer to let him have my keys indefinitely? what is everyones thoughts on it, and any good advice?

Indefinitely? How about on three months notice

Angelina

alyssame

well, you write that there is a safe word and an emergency key, that is important and correct. everything else is a question of trust. may i ask if it is 24/7 belting or is there a certain period of time you want to stay locked? Perhaps a test phase over a certain period of time would be a good idea before he becomes your permanent key holder

Greatcornbow

Angelina well, you write that there is a safe word and an emergency key, that is important and correct. everything else is a question of trust. may i ask if it is 24/7 belting or is there a certain period of time you want to stay locked? Perhaps a test phase over a certain period of time would be a good idea before he becomes your permanent key holder

I agree. Have fixed period to start - month or three - then to continue subject to period of notice.

Also check if KH can unlock you for himself. If not then maybe a double lock so you both need to agree to unlock.

Angelina

Greatcornbow I agree. Have fixed period to start - month or three - then to continue subject to period of notice.

right, something like a fixed-term contract, if everything works well it can become permanent at some point

Ines

@MD-EA

Last chance.
Or you make an introduction and stop spread spam, or you will have your user blocked.