Outcomes
Avery Thanks for the tip, I'll keep it in mind. In a pinch, my Mother has a key (she also has a belt, though it is a sex toy and used for that purpose). I recall when my Dad was trying to quit smoking he'd leave the cigarettes in the car or the garage or something. It made it inconvenient to get a cigarette (one often lights up without thinking) and it made it obvious to everybody he was going out after one. With winter coming on soon having to go out in the cold to get the key (especially since I sleep naked or almost) would be a good discouragement.
It sounds like your system is working for you. Then it is sufficient. If you need more security, you can switch.
Am actually glad I'm not 24/7.
Avery Well, since this is the outcomes thread let me respond to my own post and report my outcome is I no longer have a boyfriend. This is OK whereas he does not have the kind of emotional attachment to me that I, or anyone else here, I dare say, would require.
The main point for this forum is I'm going back to a chaste lifestyle using the belt as an aid, so that's somewhat different than many here who are full-timers. I do think there is some value here of having someone here who proffers the belt as an assistance device only and, believe me, it has come in handy on numerous occasions.
Once again I'm responding to my own post. Happy to report I have a new boyfriend. I still maintain my completely chaste lifestyle (no sexy outfits, no playing with myself, no booze, no bars, no dates with other boys, no porn), wear the belt when not with him except to run and shower, allow him to have his way with me when we are together (we still live apart) including some light BDSM style stuff. We've added penalties for me breaking the rules, which infractions I must log each day. Never have done that before but we have had people here in the group who have to do penance and I enjoy it. Happy so far, about five weeks now since he pinned me at Christmas.
Wearing the belt when he's not around adds so much closeness.
Avery Happy so far, about five weeks now since he pinned me at Christmas.
Very happy for you!
I haven't heard that saying in a long time. What does it mean nowadays to be pinned?
MissBlossom To us it means we're a couple. We wanted a formal symbol which I wear in recognition of our exclusivity so I can be punished if I violate it in fact (which I doubt will happen with a guy but did happen with a girl) or in spirit (e.g. spending too much time with another guy or in circumstances that could allow fooling around).
Avery To us it means we're a couple.
Sorry to get all word nerd on you, but is it something kids normally say these days, or is it just you being old fashioned?
MissBlossom Sorry to get all word nerd on you, but is it something kids normally say these days, or is it just you being old fashioned?
We had a party celebrating we were together and all his frat brothers got hammered. When I'm at his house I wear his football jersey and panties and nothing else. I like that kind of stuff, don't consider it being old fashioned. Like Sasha said in her thread "that emotional connection feels so amazing, and the act of intimacy with that connection was a feeling beyond description. And feeling all of those emotions, fear, nervousness, happiness and excitement come one after the other was an experience all on its own." That's what I want and didn't have last time.
Avery
I think I also don't get it. Is getting pinned just an idiom, or are you actually wearing his pin, like on your lapel or something?
A long time ago, fraternity members received a lapel pin when they became a full member. They would give it to their steady girlfriend to wear to indicate the relationship. The girlfriend was "pinned". It was a very special thing, one step before becoming engaged. This was a time when relationships progressed in a different and more predictable path.
intrepidspiff I think I also don't get it. Is getting pinned just an idiom, or are you actually wearing his pin, like on your lapel or something?
I'm tempted to say you don't get life but I fear @Ines will reappear and scold me for being fresh. Announcing one's connection with a lover is the norm in my world.
- Edited
Tjc They would give it to their steady girlfriend to wear to indicate the relationship. The girlfriend was "pinned". It was a very special thing
You explain it much better than I.
Tjc This was a time when relationships progressed in a different and more predictable path.
How does it happen now in the society you're a part of?
Let me add something as an after thought. I've always admired @Angelina for the pride and openness she has taken in her relationship with Camryn over half a dozen years. That's the attitude I'm used to.
I did get that you want to announce your relationship to the world. I was just wondering if you are wearing an actual pin.
I have seen wristbands, necklaces, even rings for that. But pins were new to me.
youdontknowme I have seen wristbands, necklaces, even rings for that. But pins were new to me.
I would have preferred a ring around my neck 'cuz you can even wear it in the shower (and while making love) but he doesn't have one.
Avery I am way too immersed in kink and not traditional romance, it seems. When you said "ring around my neck", my first thought was rigid collar, not finger ring necklace.
youdontknowme I am way too immersed in kink and not traditional romance, it seems. When you said "ring around my neck", my first thought was rigid collar, not finger ring necklace.
We don't do a dom/sir dynamic but I have rules and report infractions and endure punishments but on a case by case basis.