Kaitlyn's (MilkyMilo) Chastity journey

Marder

milkymilo I admit that sounds very intriguing for my dominant self... 😅

milkymilo

Marder haha and why is that lol

Yeah i know not everyone understands submissive or dominant personalities and the reasons behind it all. But there are some of us that find security and indeed freedom in that level of structure

curious

milkymilo
Which is a problem, only you do not see it as such.
So let me give another example:
There is a mental disirder called 'borderline personality'. Among other things, these patients frequently describe an emptiness. The feel nothing. So they start to engage in self-harming activities, e.g. cutting themselves. Now the at least feel pain which they feel is better than feeling nothing at all.
However, they of course know that harming themselves is not right and they are in that internal conflct between doing something to experience feelings but feeling guilty for doing this.
Now they discover bdsm and quickly figure out that in certain settings very sadistic people will actually cause severe enough pain so that they feel something. And instead of being told it is wrong to harm yourself, they receive praise for being very enduring. So they found a way to get hurt rather than hurting themselves and even being praised for this.
And instead of adressing the actual problem this goes on for years until other aspects of the borderline disorder come out stronger and stronger and they end up in psychiatric hospitals.

You see the connection?
If you know you have an issue, try not to normalise it by engaging in a life where what is a weakness is externally compensated. Try to address the issue and work on getting it resolved.
If you enjoy submissive behaviour, that is completely fine if the motivation is some kind of sexual turn on. But you should not 'misuse' these things because you have less issues with your disorder in such a setting.

Marder

milkymilo Since @Maija decided to be gatekeeping, it would be nice if you could email me at the address in my profile. (If you feel the need to be more anonymous, you could get a different email from protonmail or somesuch)

milkymilo

In in response to the earlier post of a certain person calling me a troll I have added a profile picture of me. I admit I am no supermodel but a troll....thats a bit harsh lol

milkymilo

curious Are you a psychiatrist or psychologist may I ask ?

That is a pretty "bold" statement to make "Which is a problem, only you do not see it as such" when you do not know me, my situation, my past, my traumas. Also sure how the discussion end up in BDSM . I said I was submissive and like the rules and structure. If I understand right that is part of bdsm yes but not its entirety. How you took what I said to self harm, wanting pain and being hurt and sadism etc is beyond me ?

Back to what I actually said. Everyone is different and we manage things differently. I have been through the mental health services here and that is just as unhealthy I can tell you and aware of all that you have mentioned. Is it better to manage those things with chemicals and pills or lifestyle choices? I know some choose exercise, others creativity, volunteering whereas me I found something that works for me. MH uses the DSM which is a cookbook and categorisation and may be great for the masses but not everyone. Also not everyone can be fixed, it is not as easy as that. Sometimes people just need to live and survive the way they are.

Tjc

curious It is only my opinion but it seems to be a big jump from liking and finding comfort in a life with structure in it to possibly having borderline personality disorder. @milkymilo does not appear to report feelings of emptiness that are relieved by the "self harm" of wearing a chastity belt. People who like structure always seem to know where their car keys are because they always put them in the same place. They never seem to leave the house and forget their phone because they have some structure ritual for things to check when they leave the house. Sadly, I hear these people get labeled with disorders like being obsessive but the labels usually come from people who think being that structured is somehow wrong. If @milkymilo enjoys the mental quiet that comes from having structure, maybe we should accept that.

curious

milkymilo Are you a psychiatrist or psychologist may I ask

I am a physician. But not specialised in Psychiatry.

I did not mean you are engaging in self harm.
I wanted to make it clear that normalising a problem by changing the circumstances rather than solving the problem is not a healthy way to take.
You might feel better in an environment with strict rules. But what if at some stage in your life through whatever unfortunate circumstances you are not provided with such rules? Or even worse, you need to provide such rules and structure for others (i.e. children) without having someone to provide such a strucrure for you?
Better to learn to get along in life without other people setting rules for you.

milkymilo

Marder email you for what purpose?

Marder

milkymilo For communication without certain persons participating. But, no skin off my nose if you don't want 🙂

Laura

Marder For communication without certain persons participating

And without the Big Brother too? Then you will need a p2p communication with end-to-end encryption 😂

milkymilo

Laura lol there is no escaping that. Its like hiding under a table to escape a nuclear blast someone once told me

milkymilo

curious I appreciate the concern but you do you and I will do me

and what was this problem that I said I had? I have said I have ADHD with some minor Autism. Not really a problem, just something to manage

curious

milkymilo
No worries.
If it is mild enough, so that you CAN effectively manage a life in unstructured environment and simply prefer having rules, that is completely fine.
The border between healthy and unhealthy is between you NEED structure and rules vs. you PREFER having structure and rules.

milkymilo

curious well I could manage if I wanted to yes, if I couldn't I would just be pumped full of pills which would make me a numb zombie, been there and done that

I would rather feel than not feel even if it is negative at times

And where I am now is far better than the abuse I have suffered in the past so at least life is on the up

Sasha

milkymilo Sounds like a good attitude, have to take the good with the bad. One of those package deals.
Happy to hear you are managing things well without meds, that's a accomplishment in itself.

curious

Tjc It is only my opinion but it seems to be a big jump from liking and finding comfort in a life with structure in it to possibly having borderline personality disorder.

You got me wrong there.
Borderline disorder is not at all connected to this.
I only used it as an example for how a disorder can be normalised by selecting the environment and how dangerous that can be.

Tjc

curious Very good. Thank you. I am sorry for my misunderstanding.

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