Telling others about your belt

Saintprudence

Angelina I absolutely would not be surprised to see this develop in the USA at the rate things are going. Our sexual Puritanism is way off the charts, and the key Republican concern right now seems to be a fear that somewhere, somehow, a woman might be orgasming without her husband’s involvement!

Angelina

Saintprudence

yes, it's interesting how often i read things like this in the media, sometimes i think the republicans are big fans of our forum

toad

i'm not interested in a political debate, but with all the crazies in the US, it might be time for total body Armour, not simply chastity

Milord

Randomly found this topic, so here is my experience.

Being belted is something that is known in my community. Most of my friends are part of my own BDSM community, so not exactly the "standard" circle of friends, but my wife makes no mystery about it.
She's also somehow excited, so she shared this with several friends.
It came back from some of them: "Have you belted your wife???"

This reaction puzzled me. We have done a lot of things that in my opinion are much more "extreme".
Anyway, the "permanent" situation makes uneasy a lot of people. Knowing me it is enough to reassure them that it is managed correctly, but still, I see that I'm not the only one triggered by the whole belting situation.

Damien

I agree there are certainly more extreme variations of BDSM than this consensual extended foreplay you, as a married couple, practice with her belt. So I'd consider the trigger a good thing. Locked collars or even arm rings seem to evoke similar reactions in people, and I guess not every feeling is a negative one. So do something for your community and have your wife hand out free cable belts to everyone (scientifically) interested?

Milord

Damien agree there are certainly more extreme variations of BDSM than this consensual extended foreplay you, as a married couple, practice with her belt.

I don't consider belting my wife a foreplay, and, maybe wrongly, I consider this an offensive definition. It's much more than a foreplay, or better, had not to do with the whole foreplay concept.

So I'd consider the trigger a good thing. Locked collars or even arm rings seem to evoke similar reactions in people, and I guess not every feeling is a negative one.

From vanilla people. From kinksters, I haven't expected this.

So do something for your community and have your wife hand out free cable belts to everyone (scientifically) interested?

Why should we gift this? I can't understand.

Damien

Milord Why should we gift this? I can't understand

Of course I do not expect you to buy belts for others, it was a joke and I understand I need to flag my irony in the future.

Milord I consider this an offensive definition.

Surprised you find a negative association here. No offense intended.

Milord

Damien Of course I do not expect you to buy belts for others, it was a joke and I understand I need to flag my irony in the future.

English is a barrier sometimes for me.

Damien Surprised you find a negative association here. No offense intended.

Well, I talk a lot, make posts here, and express my feelings and how deeply it involves me. It sounds dismissive for me to call it foreplay.

youdontknowme

Milord I think the idea was that it is mainly a dynamic that gets her more aroused when play time comes around, which should be something every sexual kinster wants. Not completely removing sexuality from her life, like what is practiced in this forum.

Were the people who gave you a negative reaction also people you mentioned this forum to?

Angelina

Milord It sounds dismissive for me to call it foreplay.

kind of ironic, i have the same feeling sometimes when people talk about the chastity belt as a BDSM toy (not referring to you, just thinking in general)

Milord

youdontknowme Were the people who gave you a negative reaction also people you mentioned this forum to?

No, not tied to parental belting. I was talking to real-life friends as opposed to online community.

youdontknowme I think the idea was that it is mainly a dynamic that gets her more aroused when play time comes around, which should be something every sexual kinster wants. Not completely removing sexuality from her life, like what is practiced in this forum.

This is true for every belted wife, like @MissBlossom or @Ines, or @tasha's mother. If you can describe their wearing as "foreplay" then you can describe my wife belting the same way.

MissBlossom

Milord
I would say it's not wrong, but it's woefully incomplete to the point of being misleading.

For me, @Damien was closer to the mark when he mentioned collars.

Milord

MissBlossom
It is possible we give the term a different meaning. For me foreplay is something done to arouse the partner with the purpose of having sex. Is this the purpose of belting? No.

If for you it is, and you are ok with this, I'm completely fine. But for me, it's not.
As for the collar... I don't really know how it can be considered a foreplay, but I'm fine too if you consider it this way.

MissBlossom

Milord
I was trying to say that the contribution to fun time is real, so the term "foreplay" is not entirely wrong, but it's also completely inadequate.

The comparison to a collar is more accurate (though still not perfect) than the term "foreplay" for me.

Milord

MissBlossom with this meaning, marriage is a foreplay too 😝

Danmac

No one in my family or friends knows about my locked in chastity.

However, in the near future I want to tell my partner, who deals with my discipline, about it. We are not in a relationship and our relationship is based only on controlling me, following the rules established by her and accepted by me, so this relationship is based only on maintaining discipline and punishments for its lack and any mistakes or breaking the rules on my part.

I don't know how she will react to it when I tell her about chastity and the request to be my KH, but I will try to encourage her to do so at the next meeting.

Damien

Danmac We are not in a relationship and our relationship is based only on controlling me

Do I understand that correctly, a woman sets rules for your life and disciplines you 24/7? You call her "partner" but say you are not in a relationship with her? That sounds like a commercial domina service? If not, what do you think is her motivation?

Milord

Damien it could be a Mistress/slave relationship. I know personally quite a few.

Danmac

Damien
We met on a site dedicated to discipline. She is not a dominatrix and does not derive any material benefits from it. We both like it - she as a Governess, and I as a pupil who needs discipline and control and willingly submits to it, as well as punishments for breaking them.

As for the rules, they were established with my consent, according to what we considered unnecessary or inappropriate in my life and implemented after my acceptance. They apply 24/7, otherwise it would not be possible to call it discipline, without control either.

You can't call it a relationship, because we are not together, we do not have feelings for each other and most importantly, there is no talk of sex or any kind of intimacy.
Milord
I would call it a Governess/Pupil relationship. But thank you for helping me explain.
Damien
You had the right to ask if you were interested, so it's okay.

Kris

Damien a woman sets rules for your life and disciplines you 24/7? You call her "partner" but say you are not in a relationship with her?

I'm in the same relationship-like relationship 😃 We both love eachother but we are not in a classical relationship. And it works quite well.

Damien

True. Maybe I am just too focused on Danmac saying it's not a relationship.

Joh

Danmac You can't call it a relationship,

If you look up relation you will find it describe a connection between two or more peoples.
Wikipedia
It is a relation but not a love relation.

Milord

Danmac
Issue here is on term "relationship". You are in a relationship, not a romantic one, as @Joh highlighted. To make things clearer, you have a Ds (domination / submission) dynamic, that in your case is incarnated into a teacher/ pupil.
Completely acceptable, and as a personal thought, she will be very happy to be your keyholder, after probably punishing you for not having shared it before 😄

Let me also add that a keyholder/ caged dynamic is a power exchange relationship, and often falls under Ds too.

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