Should only females get belted?

Angelina

Sara2001 If he recognis it in my reaction, it's likely that I get a punishment for it.

for bad acting ? sorry i don't think that's ok

Sara2001 Later in private I am of course allowed to talk about this situation in a calm and respectful way, but it should still not be any form of back talking. During maintenance, I could be fully open about my point of view.

that sounds ok 🙂

Sara2001

Angelina for bad acting ? sorry i don't think that's ok

Yes, it's a sign of disrespect.

Angelina that sounds ok

We have our own ways 😉

Angelina

Sara2001 Yes, it's a sign of disrespect.

I'm writing this again in German because I'm not sure you understood it. "für schlechtes Schauspielern?" because for me this has nothing to do with disrespect.

Sara2001 I have to control my emotions in this area. It is really not to difficult, once you are used to it. I almost never need to be punished for this anymore.

well, it's not hard to control your emotions, that's true. i'm a rather emotionally cool person myself in public (it's different in private), but i think it's wrong to expect that from my partner. Camryn, for example, can't do that and I don't think it's disrespectful, it's just a character trait.

Vanessa

Sara2001

Good if you appreciate it,generally,and not feel it too frustrating!

Sara2001 If he recognis it in my reaction, it's likely that I get a punishment for it. It counts as a form of back talking which is of course not okay.

Even if it was not at all your purpose?

Sara2001 Later in private I am of course allowed to talk about this situation in a calm and respectful way, but it should still not be any form of back talking.

Good point.

Sara2001

Vanessa Even if it was not at all your purpose?

Yes, I must take care that my behaviour is never disrespectful to him. No disrespect, no disobedience and no dishonesty (to him) are absolut rules with no exception. He can't know if it was on purpose or not. I have to control my emotions in this area. It is really not to difficult, once you are used to it. I almost never need to be punished for this anymore.

Vanessa

Sara2001

Good you're almost not punished for it anymore,but I feel unfair to be punished if it wasn't on purpose...But I respect your choice about it.

Joh

But only in private.

Sara2001

Angelina I'm writing this again in German because I'm not sure you understood it. "für schlechtes Schauspielern?" because for me this has nothing to do with disrespect.

It doesn't feels like this. I get punished for showing any signs of disobedience or disrespect to him in public. Maybe it is a bit ritualised because we like our little rituals, but it has nothing to do with acting from an emotional point of view.

Angelina but i think it's wrong to expect that from my partner. Camryn, for example, can't do that and I don't think it's disrespectful, it's just a character trait.

I think in your relationship you have a very different definition of respect then we have 🙂

Angelina

Sara2001 I think in your relationship you have a very different definition of respect then we have 🙂

yes, that's true and i think that's why we're not going to get anywhere at this point. i think you have your own systems of how the whole thing works for you. 🙂

For me, respect doesn't mean that Camryn can't disagree with me, but that she listens to my opinion and agrees or criticises it in a polite way. 🙂

Joh

Angelina For me, respect doesn't mean that Camryn can't disagree with me, but that she listens to my opinion and agrees or criticises it in a polite way.

What I know about @Sara2001 it is the same for here. She agrees or make her point in a polite way.

Sara2001

Joh What I know about @Sara2001 it is the same for here. She agrees or make her point in a polite way.

Yes, and I never disagree in public.

Angelina

Joh She agrees or make her point in a polite way.

yes, but i have no problem with Camryn contradicting me in public, she should just show that she respects my opinion 🙂

Sara2001 I would say that 50% of the punishments are for things I don't do exactly on purpose.

i don't think that's good, i always think punishments should be for something we do wrong on purpose. if it happens by mistake a talk should be enough

Sara2001

Vanessa I would say that 50% of the punishments are for things I don't do exactly on purpose. Like if I forgot something or if something is not to my father's or Daniels liking. I think it helps to take better care of my tasks, even if I definitely don't like the punishments.

Vanessa

Sara2001

I feel it very unfair,especially if it is half of your punishments...

Especially the second one(I may get punished by my parents if I forget something,especially if it is important).

Angelina i have no problem with Camryn contradicting me in public, she should just show that she respects my opinion 🙂

More classical way to act,sure.

Sara2001

Yes,but if you do something that he doesn't like(not purposely),and avoid it the next time if he have told you,it would prove that a punishment was not necessary.

Angelina or difficult or impossible.

How do you feel when you can't prove it was a mistake,and so get punished for it?

Sara2001

Angelina i don't think that's good, i always think punishments should be for something we do wrong on purpose. if it happens by mistake a talk should be enough

I think this wouldn't work for us. I understand why he wants me to take care of what I do.

Joh

Angelina yes, but i have no problem with Camryn contradicting me in public, she should just show that she respects my opinion

I understand your point of view as well from @Sara2001. They have a different way for their relation and it looks like it works. Maybe better than other relations, in my opinion.

Angelina

Sara2001 I think this wouldn't work for us. I understand why he wants me to take care of what I do.

ok, since you made the offer some time ago, can you pass this question on to Daniel?

I would like to know from him why this would not work and why it has to be a punishment. ?

Sara2001

Angelina I would like to know from him why this would not work and why it has to be a punishment. ?

Because being thoughtful at all times is a sigh of respect and obedience. He says he wants to know, see and feel the I do my best to be the best submissive for him, while he does his best to be the perfect leader for me. Being forgetful and things like that, means that I don't care enough.

Angelina

Sara2001

i can understand, but i would like to explain briefly how it works for us. if i do something wrong by mistake, i may not be punished. but this only works if i can prove that it was an accident. this can sometimes be easy (if my father sees it), or difficult or impossible.

Joh They have a different way for their relation and it looks like it works. Maybe better than other relations, in my opinion.

I don't deny that, but for me, unlike @Sara2001, it is less important what my partner says and does, but in what way.

Sara2001

Vanessa I feel it very unfair,especially if it is half of your punishments...

Especially the second one(I may get punished by my parents if I forget something,especially if it is important).

Really, I didn't expected this. If my father or Daniel says for example that his car has to be cleaned at the end of the day and I forget to do it, I get a punishment. Of course not as hard as if I don't do it on purpose.

Sara2001

Vanessa Yes,but if you do something that he doesn't like(not purposely),and avoid it the next time if he have told you,it would prove that a punishment was not necessary.

We don't have this kinds of warmings. The first punishment is not nearly as hard as the following. Yes, even if I don't know it's something he doesn't like. The reason is not cruelty but to eliminate any discussions. This way there can be no argument between us if I did know that or not. I think this makes sense.

Angelina

Vanessa How do you feel when you can't prove it was a mistake,and so get punished for it?

i feel bad, but that's the deal and i think it's definitely better than being punished every time i accidentally do something wrong.

Sara2001 but to eliminate any discussions.

another sentence that i find terrible, i think that open discussions and that we still have respect for each other are an important part of a relationship (and also here in the forum). 🙂

Vanessa

Sara2001

It is similar for me,in this case.If I neglect my part of the chores,or if I'm out,and my parents ask me to go to the supermarket buying something when coming home,but I forget it,I would be punished.

Sara2001

If the punishment is less hard,can it be considered as a sort or warning?

Do you think it is for such reasons and way to act there is generally less argument in such relationship?

Angelina i feel bad, but that's the deal and i think it's definitely better than being punished every time i accidentally do something wrong.

Understandable,but it's not easy to accept to be punished when we should not.

On the other hand,it is not very different than avoiding a punishment we would have got if caught!😉

Angelina

I agree.The context is important.Breaking the glass of a car is wrong.Breaking the glass of a car to save a dog left in the heat is right(and allowed in France).

Sara2001 I do what I am told to do. I accept that I don't get what I want in this moment. I accept that my wishes for should happen now are not important, but only my long term wishes and I talk about my point of view during the next maintenance session or in the evening when there is the right situation. But in the situation at this exact time, I hold back my opinion and do as I am told. I am submissive to him. I do what I am told and am punished if not. It's that easy.

But what if he finally realize he was wrong to punish you,after the discussion?Is there consequences/compensations?

Angelina

I this case I think that his boyfriend would have "punished" himself by getting the less enjoyable option for him too.And,if he realizes it afterwards,he may take @Sara2001's opinion more into account the next time.

Joh

Sara2001 I think this makes sense.

It makes sense because you know it beforehand and you agreed to this rules with Daniel but not with your father. He decided it to do it that way without your consents. Now you are used to it.

Max9

Sara2001 The first punishment is not nearly as hard as the following.

What are the punishments actually like? Like for example... idk... making sort of a "I'm sorry"-dinner where you put a lot of effort in the cooking to say "I'm sorry"... or is it physical force against you?
Btw... you have to clean the car for your dad?

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