Motivations

Jonas

True. And not only, it serve too, to show us to live our girlhood in a deeper way.

I think you're absolutely right. Chastity does suit femininity: Women should not allow themselves to be easy to attain.

I do think there are benefits for men here too. For those who value fidelity and moderation, the male sex drive can be a tiresome opposing force. I for one would prefer to act always as a mature adult human rather than like a bonobo monkey. 🤣

Ines

Jonas I do think there are benefits for men here too.

In my opinion there are not. I think that men should protect us, and I do not like the image of protected protective.
I do not like cad men, but the other extreme (a man with a chastity belt is against my own nature). Obviously I respect, but I do not like it.

Jonas

Ines

I think that men should protect us, and I do not like the image of protected protective.

I respect your views and feelings on the matter.

For me, its like addressing and correcting a flaw, or using brace to strengthen a limb. Like with @Renita above, as soon as you make an unbreakable choice to change yourself, that change becomes a very real part of who you are.

Problems only arise when partners hold keys for each other, that's a recipe for combined weakness. As things stand, I think I make a very strong keyholder because I both care and understand the absolute necessity to be firm.

Ines

Jonas Ines, I think yours and your family's strong adherence to the principle of consent cuts through any and all bad feeling, resentment and animosity towards the belt.

Frankly, I think is the only possible way without dynamite a normal family.
Frankly, some tales about oppressive families forcing girls and stuff like these in my opinion are fantasies of fetishist. They are very difficult in Western world.
And when you read them, you see inconsistencies in the stories, and, even, related to chastity belts.

Vanessa

Foxies the most valuable thing I owned: my sexual being.

I understand it!😉

Foxies But in fact, it turned out it was a much a commitment for her as it was for me. She became completely responsible for my safety, comfort and yes, even my happiness.

She is a good keyholder.

Foxies And if reluctantly, what drives the “bargain” of accepting something that you consider less than ideal?

Because not accepting it would mean I would not get any financial support from my parents anymore,I would have to leave the house,and,mainly,that it would mean breaking up my relationship with my parents(which means no contact at all anymore,not being welcomed to family meeting,not getting any news from them,etc...).

Ines one does not want wear a belt

No change recently,still totally against it?

Jonas owever, the choice to wear a belt must be made freely.

I agree.

Foxies One thing that seems to be neglected on this forum is the effect that chastity devices can have on the keyholders too.

However,it was often discussed!😉

Jonas I wish Ivana had found her way to this forum. Her positivity jumps off the page and her aims for her daughters seem very honest and caring.

It seems she read us(at least,she did,not sure it is still the case),but didn't post...

Ines Frankly, some tales about oppressive families forcing girls and stuff like these in my opinion are fantasies of fetishist. They are very difficult in Western world.

Generally,on this board at least,no one is "forced";it is more some sort of "blackmailing",like "wear it or you lose our financial support/the relationship with the family/the increased freedom you have/etc...".And we all can decide it is worth it,and stop wearing the belt(but can't avoid these consequences in this case).

Foxies

Jonas I make a very strong keyholder because I both care and understand the absolute necessity to be firm.

Since this thread is about motivation, I am curious to know what motivates you to hold keys and motivates you to be firm. What criterial do you use to decide whether to release (or use) the keys?

Christine

Jonas When the next generation faces the same problem, I think current wearers are likely to present the same solution, and so belt use is continued.

Not for me. I would never wear it voluntarily.

Jonas

Christine Hello. If you were in her situation in the future, would you definitely not consider making the same deal?

Christine

Jonas If you were in her situation in the future, would you definitely not consider making the same deal?

You mean if I have a daughter. No I don't want to rob her of the joys of life.

Jonas

Foxies

I am protected, my health is improved, my relationship is stronger. I am a better man for chastity. I don't often get the chance, but whenever I can be The Lock for another and see them attain similar life-goals, it's fantastic. Ask me about consent, ask me about commitment, ask me about health, hygiene, or comfort, but don't ask me to unlock the belt before the agreed time or circumstance. That, I'd never do.

Foxies

Jonas don't ask me to unlock the belt before the agreed time or circumstance. That, I'd never do.

Uh oh! I see that this is an other area where my opinions would fall on fallow ground. You see my belt makes me happy. Not having a say in when it is unlocked makes me happy. The fact that my partner controls my sexuality by using it on me, makes me happy.

Yes I also know my partner would unlock me quickly if she suspected it was making me unhappy. Life is too short for unhappiness.

Angelina

Foxies Sorry. I didn't understand.

and unfortunately I cannot explain it any other way, ignore it

Foxies May I ask if you would consider wearing one after you are married or in a permanent relationship? What would motivate you then; either to wear one or even to refuse to wear one?

i will definitely not wear a belt after the wedding, my girlfriend (later my wife) knows that and won't ask for it. of course i can never rule it out, but the only reason for me would be to save my marriage by wearing a belt

Laura

you have forgotten @Sara2001

Jonas

Foxies Overall my belt makes me very happy too. But not all the time. Sometimes, like quite a few people here, I want it off, but to do so would undermine all my goals and all the bother of wearing it.

Foxies

Jonas

It is certainly true that something that can make you happy in the short term can make you unhappy in the long term. Resolving this conundrum is where the real skill of a good and loving keyholder lies.

Ines

Foxies Resolving this conundrum is where the real skill of a good and loving keyholder lies.

Some time ago I said exactly the same. A tyrannical keyholder destroy the trust- based relationship, but a weak one too.
A fair keyholder have to maintain equilibrium.

Jonas

Foxies I think the keyholders here have the best interests of their wearers at heart and are focused on long-term positive outcomes. The chastity belt is an amazing tool to achieve huge gains. The risks however arre that a belt can appear too harsh or even cruel in the short-term. I think these things are best handled right at the outset by an clear consensual agreement.

Angelina

Foxies that can make you happy in the short term can make you unhappy in the long term.

hmm, well i always thought it is the other way round with volunteers, i always thought they wear the belt because although it looks rather restrictive in the short term and can make the wearer unhappy, it ensures happiness in the long term

Ines

Jonas The risks however arre that a belt can appear too harsh or even cruel in the short-term.

Here, I disagree. If we should believe all the stories, I think, there are some backgrounds clearly abusive. And even, some motivation of some parents here, if we should believe, are very shelfish or even insane.

Jonas I think these things are best handled right at the outset by an clear consensual agreement.

Frankly, I do not believe possible in any sense forced usage. My family is pretty similar to the most families, and the stress of a girl forced to wear a belt, I think that sooner or later it will end blowing up the family.
Even if my parents wanted my sister would wear a belt, (hypothetical), I can not imagine a way to force her to do it, and to maintain her inside her belt.

Jonas

Ines To be clear, I was ignoring the more extreme stories as fiction, and focusing on the long term positive outcomes possible where belt wearers and belt providers agree and fully consent in advance to a sane plan of action.

Even with full consent there are times when wearers fight their belts and complain, at these times, as @Foxies points out, a keyholder has to weigh the short-term discomfort with long-term gain.

Ines

Jonas Even with full consent there are times when wearers fight their belts and complain, at these times, as @Foxies points out, a keyholder has to weigh the short-term discomfort with long-term gain.

Absolutely agree. Even voluntary users have crises, and in this point, if well it us not mandatory, helps a lot a mother wearing belt.
When I had some crises, my mother and elder sister experience helped a lot.

Jonas

Ines That's right! One of the main reasons I came to this forum was because of Ivana's story on MisterPoll. Her positivity and her willingness to wear a belt herself, helped her daughters not simply to accept their belts but to understand, embrace and freely choose them. The same goes with your mother. I also remember being amazed and impressed when @HHelen got herself a belt. Knowing what it's like to wear a belt means a keyholder can offer real advice and sympathy and can tell the difference between a health crisis and the transient discomfort of a steel belt or the frustrations that follow on naturally from the decision to wait for sex.

Foxies

Angelina

I find this an amusing comment, since from your viewpoint I can see exactly where you are coming from and certainly, in your position I would agree with you. My amusement stems I suppose from the fact that I see it both ways and that is often the trouble with writing something specific. Of course, I imagine you have your good days and bad days too which was the original point (I think) of Jonas comments.

Angelina

Foxies My amusement stems I suppose from the fact that I see it both ways and that is often the trouble with writing something specific.

i admit i also often have this problem and yes i have good and bad days but fortunately i have more good days than bad 🙂

Jonas Where threats of being cut off from family are made, this may seriously affect wearer's necessary ability to say NO to a belt.

I have to agree with you, apart from the emotional support, I would have enormous financial problems, I would probably not be able to study and I would probably earn a minimum of what I probably will earn now

Foxies What motivates trolls? Reading a non-pornographic forum such as this seems a strange way to get their jollies! 🤣

therefore these trolls disappear quickly 😉

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