It is sad for me is to know that something that means so much to me and my partner brings so much unhappiness to many adolescents who write here. It breaks my heart to learn of the pressures being put on the unwilling/reluctant wearers, especially by parents who should be nurturing rather than pressuring.
At issue is the clash of values existing between the reluctant/unwilling wearers and the parental or authority figures holding both the keys and the sources of shelter, sustenance and education … (well alright mobile phones and credit cards as well – smiles). There is no meeting of minds.
The most optimal solution would be to present successful arguments to parental figures in such a way as to change their minds. Obviously, this is not easy. Parents have more experience, are often more skilled at argument and their values tend to be set in stone. Breaking down a wall of resistance like that can be nigh on impossible.
Many writers on this forum often state that there is a wealth of practical information in managing the wearing of chastity related devices and this is true … if one can find it. But I would suggest, a more important resource might be a list of suggestions and arguments to place before a parent to change their minds. What might be useful is a resource compiled by wearers, keyholders, and professionals with experience that could provide sound advice in a clear and concise manner. Especially useful would be input from professionals with training in psychology, psychiatry, sociology and even legal.
Any one experienced at the art of “persuasion” who is used to changing people’s values and views could be extremely helpful. I even have some slight practical experience since I was a physician and occasionally had to persuade recalcitrant to change their own life styles.
Perhaps, what is needed is a list of short scenes, where an unwilling wearer confronts their keyholders. The keyholder would reply and the wearer would answer in a manner most likely to “persuade” the keyholder to the wearers point of view. Various responses and answers could be presented and it might give an insight into solutions that might work.
It could even take the form of a “conversation” between to writers on the forum. One playing the wearer, one playing the keyholder. It could even be a sort of game. Game playing is used by militaries throughout the world in an effort to find weaknesses which they can exploit. Better to attempt in simulation before heading out, unarmed with poor arguments against the keyholder where you will inevitably lose.
Perhaps some might write conversation they have had where they failed and others could suggest alternative argument that might have stood a better chance of working.
Here is just an example of the sort of thing I envisage; a potential conversation, presented in the hope that it might stir others to write similar or far better arguments:
“There is a lady that writes on a forum I read who is in love to the extent that she would willingly give her life for her partner. Since that is neither practical nor desirable to her partner, she has instead given her the most valuable thing she owns: her sex. She has locked her sex away and given the keys to her lover who now treasures it as much as she does herself. They are thus bound together for as long as they both shall live.
“Contrast with the circumstances that you (my keyholder) have put me in.
“My question is do you love me as much and those two love each other? If so, why do you not give me the right to love anyone I choose as much? It is no secret that I do not like what you have done to me. Its not something I choose for myself and only agree to such because you have severely reduced my options to obtain that agreement.
“How do you feel about this? Do you recognise that you are stealing my own most precious possession? You have made me your prisoner even as you claim to love me. Do you think it is worth it to risk my alienation as I grow up?
“You claim it is for my own protection. How can you justify this when less that a one thousandth of one percent of our species would agree with you? What justification for your own personal prejudices can you present, that would not only convince me, but all of my generation? How will you ever begin to convince me that you didn’t steal a part of my life?
“You have pointed out my vulnerabilities. Yet, my own view is that my biggest vulnerability is that I still have to rely on you to live. But please remember, I didn’t ask to be born. It was your use of your own sex that created me. Yet you are denying my right to choose when I can use my own sex. And do you not think, by creating me you took on the moral right to provide an environment to thrive until I could take care of myself? Do you somehow think that that gives you a right to protect me from myself regardless of the damage you do to both my physical and mental health? Does it give you a right to do things that most of society would think abhorrent to the point where they could take action against you if they knew what you were doing to me?
“Deep down I know you love me. But it is time you realise that I am my own person and you are slowly eroding my faith, trust and above all, my love for you. Ultimately, I will leave the nest. I will become independent. That is life. My love for you can still be strong or you can weaken it. Please reconsider what you are doing.”
I’ll end it here, but hopefully you see my ideas and some of you can write much better.
(Sorry moderators for another ridiculously long post.)