Belt fitting

Jen

Avery I rather think if one has a lot of experience with others, like getting and receiving oral and taking it in the bum, that simply holding one's vagina in reserve is just a kind of a technicality.

That's a lot different to masturbation though isn't it - but yeah you could say a penis instead of dildo is just a technicality so the labels are stupid.

Avery My real quibble with different definitions is that I want to include a chance at a do-over.

You said 4 months yeah you've got your do over - you can feel it can't you. You just have to keep it now. I'm thinking like this too.

Avery

Jen That's a lot different to masturbation though isn't it - but yeah you could say a penis instead of dildo is just a technicality so the labels are stupid.

I could kind of see a boy objecting if you had done stuff with lots of others but just playing with yourself should probably get a pass, but for now for me not masturbating is the challenge.

Jen You just have to keep it now. I'm thinking like this too.

Yup, I think this is the way to go.

Jen

Avery I could kind of see a boy objecting if you had done stuff with lots of others but just playing with yourself should probably get a pass

I think about what it means for me not for my future guy - he might not even care🤷‍♀️. I haven't talked about it much but my toy was I think bigger than the average guy and it would be sad to be disappointed when it finally happened.

carg I think 'ruined' is too big a word, since that suggests that it is permanent, while I think that at least the majority of your negative feelings will be temporary.

I didn't want to answer this while upset - I'm trying to write this clear. I think the not having sex, not masturbating, not having orgasms - like it's just an idea. It's the doing it that makes it a real thing - and I hadn't even really committed to it but yeah it was feeling real and yeah ruined was the right word. Like the idea is still there - I can start again - but the doing is a real thing that can be ruined otherwise it wouldn't be special.

Avery

Joh ou fond Mr. right already. Congratulation.

Sorry, poor verb construction. I meant when I have found him in the future. No luck so far.

Joh

Avery No luck so far.

That is sad.
What are the boys missing to be the right one?

Avery

Joh What are the boys missing to be the right one?

There was once a song which said who we love and why we love is hard to understand. I agree. Past that, most of the boys I know are on the athletics team, or some other team so they are around. The upperclassmen many of them just came onto us when we first arrived to see who would come across so they are out. The younger ones just don't seem to appeal. Hate to say they are too young but they have their own crowd too. Maybe we are just all the same, bunch of jocks. I hope to do better when I am out in a work environment and there are a better variety of people. There's no real rush anyway. I just wrote a paragraph on something I don't understand myself.

Joh

Avery
OK. I agree. Love you can not explain. It happen.

I had no luck or was not good to get in contact with people around me at school, UNI or work. I searched a long time active via payed partner portals to find someone. That worked for me. Forget the free portals. 🤮
I will not say this the way but it is an option.

Sin

Avery I hope to do better when I am out in a work environment and there are a better variety of people.

It certainly does sound like a closed environment. It is difficult to see when you are young and that environment is your world, but the world is a big place! The opportunities to meet people from outside your comfort zone are endless. Enjoy your time at university, but don't let it define you and don't settle for second best.

Avery

Joh I had no luck or was not good to get in contact with people around me at school,

Let me say this tho. I don't know for sure but I think you are in Germany. I follow a German girl on instagram and youtube who goes by @felifromgermany. Her real name is Felicia Hofner from Munich. She came to the US like six years ago to go to university. She says university in Germany is much different than here. In Germany she says one goes to class and then goes home and that's about it. Here most students live on campus, or close by, eat meals on campus, go to lots of activities like sports and social things, sit in the student union and socialize. All of this to say it should be much easier here in the USA to meet someone at university. There are many opportunities. It sounds like it would be harder in Germany. Of course if you are not German none of this matters.

Vanessa

Jen Um not any more...

You decide to have a break?

Do you manage to follow your goal,even without wearing the chastity belt?

Jen

It is normal to have different feelings now you've worn it several times(including the two weeks test)than before...

carg But to me it seems like you would have to go through this sooner or later, and now that you have experienced a bit of what you would be giving up / having to endure, probably for a number of years, you can make a more informed decision if that is worth it for you. Luckily there is no deadline, so you can take your time, accept that this is a tough choice, and that it is normal that such a situation has a strong effect on your emotions.

I agree.

Jonas I think it's the on again/off again belt use that makes it difficult.

I think so,too.

carg But once you have truly made up your mind about what you want, most of the guilt will disappear.

I agree.

She would need time to think calmly about her feelings with the chastity belt,and make a decision about how she would wear it,or not.

Angelina it's important that you are 100% behind it, otherwise it won't work and will lead to disappointment

Right.

Avery I have no one to have sex with

It could mean no one night stand,no sex except in a very serious relationship(or until engaged,until married),too...

Angelina i wouldn't call it chastity but abstinence

We discussed often about chastity belt and abstinence belt!😉

Angelina every voluntary wearer determines his/her own goal

I agree.

Avery In Germany she says one goes to class and then goes home and that's about it.

It is a bit like this in France too.

Far from how university works in the USA.

Joh

Avery I don't know for sure but I think you are in Germany

You are right. I live in Germany.
I see the difference and it is correct. Especially since the pandemic. II heard that many students saw their pears the first time some weeks ago although they started study 1.5 years ago.

Sin Enjoy your time at university, but don't let it define you and don't settle for second best.

I agree. Search longer until you are sure.

Avery At least a year in a work environment

Good decision. You get a broader view and you will see make it sense for you.

Kaja

Sex is not a mistake.

Sin

Avery I've read quite a few times by meditation people that no sex of any kind leads to a clear headedness, increased energy, such things. The nofap people say the same thing. I have found being horny all the time can be a distraction.

Doesn't work for me either. :-(

Jen

Sin me too unless it takes longer - but didn't think about it so much until I took a break - like it didn't seem like a distraction at the time.

Avery

Sin The opportunities to meet people from outside your comfort zone are endless.

I've already decided I'm not going straight to grad school. At least a year in a work environment will do me a world of good, I think.

Jen

Avery what's grad school is that different to Uni?

Avery

Jen what's grad school is that different to Uni?

Yes, it's after you finish four years in college (we don't actually call it Uni). Then you can go to graduate school to try for a masters degree and maybe a doctoral degree but of course it takes extra years and costs more money.

Avery

Vanessa no sex except in a very serious relationship(or until engaged,until married),too...

That's what I'm aiming for.

Jen

I'm wearing the belt but not taking it seriously for now. Feels weird - didn't take long - kinda just focusing on the wearing side, not the chastity side. And yeah it's for the driving too - hoping to get lots of hours while mum and dad are off for Christmas.

Vanessa no sex except in a very serious relationship(or until engaged,until married)

If i do it seriously .. if .. to me it means no sex or masturbation until we're as good as married - more than just serious but not having a pointless certificate defining our lives.

Angelina

Avery My real quibble with different definitions is that I want to include a chance at a do-over. For example in the hymen test once it's gone it's gone.

we once introduced the term second virgin for such people, if i remember correctly.

Vanessa We discussed often about chastity belt and abstinence belt!😉

yes, but in the meantime i think we have made it too easy for ourselves. i now believe that there are more than just these two forms 😉

Vanessa Far from how university works in the USA.

in the usa, studying is something completely different than in most european countries, yes

Jen I'm wearing the belt but not taking it seriously for now. Feels weird - didn't take long - kinda just focusing on the wearing side, not the chastity side. And yeah it's for the driving too - hoping to get lots of hours while mum and dad are off for Christmas.

with your driving licence you have a goal, that's good. everything else you can think about afterwards. 🙂

Joh

Avery
I wish you success and happiness.

Vanessa

Avery

Good luck!

I think you would manage it.

Jen focusing on the wearing side, not the chastity side

I think it is logical,especially if you put it back on recently.

Jen more than just serious

Why not until engaged,so?

Jonas

I think so,too.

Angelina second virgin

Yes,we used it several times.

Angelina i now believe that there are more than just these two forms 😉

Yes,but it is better to not have too many possibilities,for each wearer.

And these two have pretty clear meanings.

youdontknowme Not drinking is a form of abstinence, so is not masturbating.

Yes,but the context would often explain what kind of abstinence we talk about.

youdontknowme having sex with your partner but nobody else can be chastity.

Personally,I think it is not chastity.

Jen I think the not having sex, not masturbating, not having orgasms - like it's just an idea. It's the doing it that makes it a real thing - and I hadn't even really committed to it but yeah it was feeling real and yeah ruined was the right word.

If I understand,after your two weeks test,you" failed"?

If yes,no problem,it is totally logical you don't manage it on the first try.

There could be some others "fails",but it would not mean you would not manage it after some time.

Angelina chastity does not mean sexual pleasure and abstinence "only" means no sex

Similar meaning for me.

Avery

Joh I wish you success and happiness.

Thanks.

Jonas

Jen just focusing on the wearing side, not the chastity side.

Be ready, the chastity side may steal focus back again after a few nights!

Joh

Jen If i do it seriously .. if .. to me it means no sex or masturbation until we're as good as married - more than just serious but not having a pointless certificate defining our lives.

This sounds like a goal when you are fine with it.

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