Become a belted wife

Daphne

I stand with Sara, spanking is fine and should be done, i would accept it too

Joh

Daphne I stand with Sara, spanking is fine and should be done, i would accept it too

You are an adult and can decide for yourself. If you find it good for you then do it. With children this does not work at all.

Daphne

Joh

I mean yes that's obvious

Joh

Daphne I mean yes that's obvious

Not for all here on the forum.

Sara2001

Joh Sorry, but this sounds for my as propagandise.
If you believe it is the right thing to do go for it but do not state this lie here as facts.

I haven't talked about spanking kids but spankings in a relationship.
It's a well known fact, that it was very common for thousands of years almost all over the world. Where is all the irreparable damage in almost any family for the last 50.000 years?

Joh

Sara2001 I haven't talked about spanking kids but spankings in a relationship.

Did your spanking started when you was 18 years old?
Did spanking started when generation before was 18 years old?

You talked in a general way and not specific about spanking an adult agreed to it. You referred at the common way which was happen at home, school, apprenticeship and sometimes at work. It has a long-term effect and you find sufficient literature and scientific work about the topic.

Sara2001 Where is all the irreparable damage in almost any family for the last 50.000 years?

Did you read the information of the sources I posted before? One page is especially about the long-term effect.

Long-term consequences and permanent damage:
severe psychosomatic suffering
Destruction of the positive attitude towards life
contempt for one's own sex
Self-contempt
Rejection of social relationships
Attachment anxiety
Repetition of experienced relationship patterns
Justification and denial of the event
Suicide
Gender-specific effects

More commonly observed in girls:
Insecurity
Withdrawal
Self-harm, self-injury
Anxiety
Contact avoidance

More often observed in boys:
Acceptance of violence
Dominance behaviour
devaluation of and contempt for girls and women
sexual assault (verbal and physical)
increased aggressiveness
violent behaviour and threatening rituals

Now show me a reliable source which proofs it has no a long-term effect. You state only phrases without any scientific proof which we can find at typical forums and blocks where everyone quotes the other without being able to name a reliable source.
The argumentation that if something was practised for a long time, it' well know, is not proof. I can give you enough examples.

Sara2001 I haven't done a research, but I think it was kind of the norm or at least much, much more common.

Here you say it yourself that you have not checked it but claim it with a certainty that lacks any basis. You have no idea how it was for them at that time.

Vanessa

Sara2001 Yes, I agree, but shock is over after some time 🙂

I think it depends on every people...

Sara2001 Yes. I trust her by 200%

Good!🙂 It can help!

Sara2001 Considered, yes. But finally this never happened.

Good it was at least considered,and probably,talked about.Who have been the more interested by this idea,you or your boyfriend?

Sara2001 Most probably she is against them, too but supports you.

Yes.🙂

Sara2001 I think spankings in the family, like husband and wife has been normal for thousands of years in most parts of the world, including Europe and North America and women didn't felt abuse but it was just normal.

Are you sure about it?

I don't think it was that common...

Sara2001

Vanessa Are you sure about it?

I don't think it was that common...

I think so, yes. I haven't done a research, but I think it was kind of the norm or at least much, much more common.

Jen

Sara2001 That's all I have said. It was very common in the past. Not that it should still be common for everyone or that this was okay.

Jen This is like a critical thing to know the difference between choosing vs it being forced.

Sara2001
Where have I said something else? I completely agree to this.

Yes it is going round and round. You kind of did say that it was ok. Maybe the meaning in what was posted didn't match your thoughts.

Going back though the posts I've copied the replies again below. So you can see what we are replying to.

Sara2001 I think spankings in the family, like husband and wife has been normal for thousands of years in most parts of the world, including Europe and North America and women didn't felt abuse but it was just normal.

Vanessa Are you sure about it?

I don't think it was that common...

Sara2001 I think so, yes. I haven't done a research, but I think it was kind of the norm or at least much, much more common.

The highlighted bit is what it goes back to.
I think you were dismissive about what women in the past had to put up with and you didn't recognise that it was abuse. It might have been more normal, but that is just saying abuse was more normal.

Daphne

Sara2001

Would it be worth it to spank yourself or?

Jen

Sara2001 I think so, yes. I haven't done a research, but I think it was kind of the norm or at least much, much more common.

Maybe norm but also wrong? - I mean how it was in general nothing like your situation which you have agreed to.

Even without research did you learn about things like womens suffrage in school. It was normal to not be able to vote but that wasn't ok and the women of the time had to fight to get this right. I don't know maybe the teaching there is different.

If you want us to accept your situation you have to accept it is different to normal and that it would not be ok for it to be normal. Maybe it used to be normal but it still wasn't ok. This is like a critical thing to know the difference between choosing vs it being forced.

Sara2001

Daphne Would it be worth it to spank yourself or?

I would never spank myself.

Joh Did your spanking started when you was 18 years old?

My spankings IN A RELATIONSHIP started after I was 18 years old. This is what we talking about.

Joh Did you read the information of the sources I posted before?

Your sources where not about spankings in a relationship but about spankings of kids and so. I explicitly talked about spankings in relationships.

Jen Even without research did you learn about things like womens suffrage in school. It was normal to not be able to vote but that wasn't ok and the women of the time had to fight to get this right. I don't know maybe the teaching there is different.

I don't say it was ok. But I think it is okay in a relationship which both can end at any time. The fact that it was done to so many women consensual and unconsensual shows, that it doesn't necessarily cause irreparable psychological damage in a relationship like mine. Otherwise the world has been full of psychopaths in the past. This is no statement of agreement that it was right that way. Something can be wrong but still don't cause psychological damage.

Jen Maybe it used to be normal but it still wasn't ok.

That's all I have said. It was very common in the past. Not that it should still be common for everyone or that this was okay.

Jen This is like a critical thing to know the difference between choosing vs it being forced.

Where have I said something else? I completely agree to this. I think we are in a "All rabbits are animals but not all animals are rabbits" situation.

Vanessa

Sara2001

I haven't read anything about it,too,but I guessed it was pretty uncommon.

Not sure there is research about it,however.

Jen It was normal to not be able to vote but that wasn't ok and the women of the time had to fight to get this right.

Good example.

Sara2001 both can end at any time.

Important part,yes,but you can't decide to stop only the spanking part of it.

Sara2001 I don't like the idea of a series of spankings as a punishment, because then it looses it's character of solving an issue immediately.

It doesn't relate well to your maintenance spankings...

Jen I think male and female are equal.

Double standards are common,even nowadays,unhappily...For example,my twin brother is more free than me...

Joh

Sara2001 Your sources where not about spankings in a relationship but about spankings of kids and so. I explicitly talked about spankings in relationships.

Go back where it stated and you see it was not only about relations.

Angelina Abuse is when parents do something against the will of the child AND when it causes irreparable damage to the child's body or psyche, that is my opinion.

You have reduced the whole thing to the relationship, which gives the wrong impression. In the past, to which you refer, it has not only started in the relationship but already in childhood. This invalidates your argument that the generations before us have shown that they have not been harmed.
As I wrote before you decided to do it in your relation this is fine with me but to come up with this completely false argument to prove it's ok is like a slap in the face to all who have suffered.

Sara2001 The fact that it was done to so many women consensual and unconsensual shows,

Can you post your sources that prove this to be the case.

Angelina

Joh You have reduced the whole thing to the relationship, which gives the wrong impression. In the past, to which you refer, it has not only started in the relationship but already in childhood. This invalidates your argument that the generations before us have shown that they have not been harmed.
As I wrote before you decided to do it in your relation this is fine with me but to come up with this completely false argument to prove it's ok is like a slap in the face to all who have suffered.

could it be that you wanted to answer @Sara2001 but marked my post, sorry if I'm wrong? but with me there is and has never been physical punishment/discipline or anything like that.

Sara2001

I think it is not leading to anywhere to continue this currently. Maybe it's possible to clean anything up later.

Joh

Angelina
Nop.
The whole conversation is a mess in the meantime. I referred your comment to Sara where the discussion started and what she posted at the beginning. I tried to show her that her unthinking repetition of phrases has nothing to do with reality. She had written it as a general statement and not only related to their relationship.
In the meantime, you have to go back over so many comments to keep track. Not everyone does that and so that can get mixed up very quickly between what you wrote and you think you expressed at the time.

Sara2001 I think it is not leading to anywhere to continue this currently. Maybe it's possible to clean anything up later.

I agree. Maybe we can figure it out later.

Angelina

Joh I tried to show her that her unthinking repetition of phrases has nothing to do with reality.

except for this sentence i agree with your post

Joh In the meantime, you have to go back over so many comments to keep track. Not everyone does that and so that can get mixed up very quickly between what you wrote and you think you expressed at the time.

yes, I agree it can be a bit confusing at times 😂

Sara2001

Okay, I will try again to make my position more clear.

Beating or punshing someone for any reason is something different then physical discipline like spankings and not okay at all. Especially against kids, but I would suggest to end a rela immediately if it is done to you and to strongly think about calling the police.

I don't support the physical discipline of minors or in parents to kids relations. This shouldn't happen, but also I think it was the norm for thousands and thousands of years and still is in most parts of the world. So even if I think it is wrong, I don't think that it normally causes massive psychological damage if it is done careful and transparent. If it is not done right, it's beating.

I also don't suppose the physical discipline in relationships if it is not consensual. But I think it was also the norm for thousands and thousands of years and still is in most parts of the world and I still think that it doesn't cause psychological damage for most, if it is done with care and transparent, which of course doesn't make it "right". If a partner lives in fear of what the other partner may do, it's abuse and the relationship needs to be ended immediately and it's likely a case for the police.

I support physical discipline in a relationship when it is consensual. Because I think it is a very close experience and an effective and fast way to handle incidents. Any non physical discipline has to be in place for long times, after a spanking is done, the issue is normally solved and this gives a very beautiful feeling of release. I think it must come with a good lesson before the spanking, so I can understand the reason of my partner, he has to ensure I understand his reason, but it is not necessary that I agree to his reason. A spanking without a prior lesson is not a spanking but beating. I also think that spankings should solve an incident completely, I don't like the idea of a series of spankings as a punishment, because then it looses it's character of solving an issue immediately.

I think that's how I would describe my position in detail.

Daphne

Sara2001

And honestly, that sounds just fine!

strictfather

Sara2001
<<I think it must come with a good lesson before the spanking, so I can understand the reason of my partner>>

so do you agree you will spank your partner/husband if he make a mistake? according to your words, spanking/lesson shouldn't be one way only. what do you think about?

Jen

Sara2001 It is all so much clearer when written in one post. What you say about kids I agree. What happens in consensual - doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

Where I think different is for discipline in relationships that happened in the past. I think male and female are equal. So it is not fair for the boys to decide a disagreement just because they are stronger than us. In history it is plain to see this did happen in the past, and I'm glad it is no longer the norm here, and I'm sorry for the girls in places where it is still the norm.

gwen

Sara2001 Thank you for describing this part of your relationship so clearly in one post. I'm less afraid for you now.

I still worry that you don't have explicit signals to indicate that things are getting too intense (for example, a caution safe word). I realize you can call the whole D/s dynamic off at any time, but the fear of that loss would make me hesitate. And, hesitation in an overly intense situation can quickly become dangerous.

Sara2001

strictfather do you agree you will spank your partner/husband if he make a mistake? according to your words, spanking/lesson shouldn't be one way only. what do you think about?

I think in this kind of relationship one should be the leader and one should follow. In our relationship,.I am the one that follows. This is the consense we have. So no, if he does a mistake, I would never spank him.

Jen I think male and female are equal

I absolutely support this point of view, I just think that this is a relatively new point of view in the western world.

gwen I still worry that you don't have explicit signals to indicate that things are getting too intense (for example, a caution safe word).

I am strictly against save words, not because I don't want to have an emergency exit, but because I think as long as I have this kind of emergency exit, he doesn't need to be as careful as he is now. I wouldn't want to submit to someone who needs an emergency break to not go to far.

Ines

Jen I think male and female are equal. So it is not fair for the boys to decide a disagreement just because they are stronger than us.

I disagree, and I hope to be able to explain myself.
Firstly I think we are not equal at all, I think that both have same value and both are equally intelligent but every sex have some skills that complement to the other sex, for that, in general, a sex likes the other and search in the partner capabilities that lack in him/herself.
About the boys deciding disagreement, I have to agree, they do not have to do because they are stronger but (and I think that next point is the key), a lot of times (and think in your friends) we the girls like that a boy takes decision quickly. A lot of times we let them take decisions because we do not like to have to take some decisions.
I am not hypocrite and I have to recognize that a resolute man is very sexy for me.

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