ZeynepFox My knowledge of Turkish customs is mostly limited to Kurdish tradition, as I lived with a Kurdish family at the time. Maybe it comes down to the Kurds being far more secular than Turks, but violence towards women of any sort was shameful. It was seen as a sign of a lack of education, even amongst traditional families. My adopted family was very traditional - the grandmothers still had tribal face tattoos - and slapping a girl would have been unthinkable. I would hate to be the husband who lays a hand on a Kurdish bride, because then you would have the girl's whole family to deal with.
To me it seemed like women ran the show, while the guys just sat around in coffee shops all day, smoking and playing backgammon. The men liked to think they were in charge, but they were all bluff and bluster. It was apparent to an outsider that the woman was boss.
Also, regarding virginty tests - and I mean no offence here, as clearly it is still a 'thing' in Turkey - but again it denotes a lack of education (perhaps not surprising amongst traditional conservative families). As @Jen points out, it creates an unbearable weight on the shoulders of young girls who have lost their hymen through no fault of their own (sport, trauma, rape etc).
Like female genital mutilation, it is a custom that the western world has difficulty accepting because it places a burden on the disadvantaged, and has no place in a modern society that should have better knowledge of basic human anatomy. Regardless of culture, domestic violence and virginity testing belong in the dark ages.
