My partner is between jobs / working from home for a little while. Normally when he is home I keep him locked up, but my Christmas presents arrived early (new shields!!) so I asked him if he could keep me under lock and key for a little while.
It's been a bit weird having a keyholder in the house as normally it's my turn when he works away (we play remotely). It's been nice when we have time alone together, intimacy is a challenge and I'm getting sick of the teasing.
I started off really confident, up to and all through Christmas I was vibing and felt really strong. I've wavered a bit in the last few days and today I've downright struggled but I'm determined to keep going. Mentally I'm feeling up to it. Physically I'm not really. Lots of soul searching and a lot of confusion about what's mental and what's physical.
New dome shields are a love / hate thing. Hubby likes the clear dome but I'm not a huge fan. I'd rather not see down there. Fun to tease him with though! Metal shield is much bigger than I'm used to. Not a fan of how either of them sit with tight clothing.
I had some time to myself today for the first time in ages. Let's just say I tested out the metal dome and it worked really well. I guess it did just what it says on the packet! Feeling a little bit defeated but kind of proud / happy at the same time.
It's only been a month so far and for the most part I've felt warm and fuzzy 90% of the time. Feel like crying now but I know it will pass.
Anyway. That's my rant. Ultimately happy but occasionally scratching at the walls. The usual I guess. It feels kind of new for me, I lke that the shields work better than expected, it feels a lot more serious / challenging.
