Sasha I think that in your mothers case the only way is to process this is to be honor bound. In your case the relationship is based on trust. If your mother is unable to keep her commitment, the whole structure falls down because you cannot trust her anymore. But being human, you should consider some kind of reparation. For example, if there is a free time each week, in case of misbehaving she will lose it
I will work in the direction of a structured error > penalty, avoiding having you as the carrier of punishments
Let me traslate this in a master / slave relationship.
If the slave makes mistakes, she’s punished, but if the mistake came from Master?
Punishing Master is something that will break the structure, and so it cannot be done, but still some way to acknowledge that we do something wrong is necessary, or trust can be lost
So there is atonement, even apologies, or in some case suspension of some powers. Not by the slave, but by master himself until he thinks he’s “worthy” again. Maybe a solution like this (or similar) can also work for you?
