Other people want me to wear a chastity belt

Sasha

Carlos I’m glad you’ve stood up for yourself, sometimes we struggle with this.
But remember to be there for her at the same time. No you aren’t the one who hurt her, but it’s hard to trust people again. Just be there and talk as much as she needs you to

Raziel

Sasha
I wouldn't bother with that woman. Her silent treatment is immature, because she only wants things her way or she'll be upset. I'd have left that woman myself long ago, plus she needs to realize she is not in control of anyone's life. I'd say good for Carlos for focusing on himself.

MissBlossom

Carlos
Overall, that's great to hear!

I have a suggestion, though. Being strong and unshakable is sexy. Being petty and seeking little revenges is weak and not sexy. The next time she gives you the silent treatment, shrug it off, do your own thing and ignore it. See if she reacts differently.

pestulens

Carlos good to hear from you, I was beginning to worry but glad to hear things are going well.
It seems like she hasn't abandoned the idea of getting you to ware again, but isn't going to try and force it.
I agree with what others have said though, the passive aggressive thing with the tabs is probably not all that helpful in the long run, even if it was probably satisfying at the time. I'd say if she gets like that again probably just give her space and let her know you're willing to talk about it when she's ready.

The incident with your friend is funny in retrospect, though I can see why it would be nerve-wracking in the moment.
Congratulations, stay strong.

toad

looks like a bonafide power struggle that has little to do with chastity. My girl wants me in chastity so that's where i stay. A little discomfort and inconvienience is a small price to pay for a peaceful relationship. We both like her to be in control, we agree on this so. No power struggle, no fear of bad behavior and a happy girl, well worth it to me.

Sasha

Raziel Honestly I wouldn't fault him if he did leave.
But since he seems content to stay with her, for now anyway, that's about the best advice me or anyone can give really.

Kaja

Carlos You did and do a good job.

Jonas

Carlos I was locked back in but that was for a night out with my friends drinking.

Carlos Sunday night she had the belt waiting for me after I had a shower and a shave. She said that "she wanted me ready to go for when she gets back on Tuesday". I just ignored that and put the belt back in the cupboard.

Hey thanks for the update. Good progress indeed, but I still think you should dump the belt in the trash. I can't see how it can ever be good within this relationship.

Joh

Carlos I just turned round and said you try wearing one long enough to get used to it and see how you feel after that.

How about you get a tape measure and start taking measurements for a CB the next time she comes with such a request.

And congratulation to you success. Continue to stand up for yourself.

Angelina

Carlos

it is nice to read that your situation has improved, you have to be a bit tough now, but you should not ignore her needs. this does not mean that you should wear the belt again, but you should help her to overcome her problems so that she learns to trust you completely even without the belt.

Joh How about you get a tape measure and start taking measurements for a CB the next time she comes with such a request.

That would also be a possibility. @Carlos, the next time your girlfriend wants you to wear the belt, you can tell her that you will only do it if she wears one too. 😉

Joh

Angelina you will only do it if she wears one too.

@Carlos and you will have the key 😋

Carlos

Weekly update

Well this week has went really well. I have not been back in the belt at all. I have been really happy all week.

My partner has been on fairly good form as well she has not been that moody or done anything crazy at all. She just mentioned the belt once and that was asking me if i was going to get rid of it and she did not think it was a good idea to totally get rid of it. I think she twigged on that i am not going to go back to it and it was best not push it too far as i would just split with her.

After reading a few of your comments i think i have done relatively well considering where i was a just a few weeks ago.

@Angelina I think that is a good idea if she does bring it up again i should say to her that she should try wearing one that should kill that argument pretty quickly. There is no chance she would wear one.

I am supposed to be going out at the weekend so i am not going to automatically put the belt on i am just going to ignore it and see if she brings it up. Fingers crossed she wont mention it either and has finally accepted that i am free of the belt.

Joh

Carlos If she bring the belt up ask her if she will wear on at the same time. She could also cheat on you when you out. That would be only fair then.

A relationship can only work if you trust each other. Please remember that, because it applies to both of you.

Angelina

Carlos

it all sounds very positive, at least the belt is not a big issue anymore, now you can work on getting her to trust you 100% and not ask you again.

Max9 Going to buy it together seems somewhat ... unromantical to me

it's unromantic, but you're on the safe side. my girlfriend and i did the same with our "soon to be" wedding rings.

Carlos

Joh That is a very good point Joh. I suppose she could cheat on me with a lot more ease than i could cheat on her. I generally do not think about what she is up to when not at home. I know she is a pretty flirty person and i am sure she will be flirting at work but that does not bother me in the slightest.

The more i go through life i am realizing a relationship either romantic of professional must be built on trust. Trust works both ways if trust is lost by either party i goes bad fast.

Max9

Carlos I always feel bad for the people who can't enjoy it. If only I could find a girlfriend like that, lol.
Nah, but I do find it problematic that she has so few trust in you. That's not an essence for a long lasting relationship. It's good you made a compromise you can both agree on.

You really need to do somed to so spmething to build some trust.
Is there a specific reason why you don't like the belt?

Carlos

Max9 What are you suggesting. What measures other than not sleeping around "which i am not doing" do you suggest i take. Get a big fat diamond rind and propose?

There is so many reasons why i do not like the belt if i was to list them all it would just make me angry and sad why i ever put up with it.

Avery

Carlos Get a big fat diamond rind and propose?

Please don't do that. First, find out what kind of stone she wants and what cut. Assuming she wants a traditional engagement ring, of course. Then go alone to the jewelers and find out what stones you can afford. Then bring her to the jewelers so he can show her the stones and see how she wants it set. She will have to wear it for (hopefully) a long time so she gets to choose it, subject to cost which is your affair.

Max9

Carlos I mean there are some activities you can do to improve each ithers trust. Like the one where one falls on the back and the other one cathes the first one.

Avery You think so? I am used to choose some nice gifts for my girlfriends and surprise them wirh it. They did always like them.
Going to buy it together seems somewhat ... unromantical to me

Sasha

Avery Personally I’d prefer an iridium band over a diamond, but that’s just me of course

Carlos

Avery Oh i know what she wants already. She wants an engagement ring like Kate Middleton so a big fat sapphire with 18 karat white gold. If i had my way i much much prefer a Mokume Gane band.

Avery

Sasha Personally I’d prefer an iridium band over a diamond, but that’s just me of course

Excellent. Shows that discussions are indeed necessary.

Avery

Max9 They did always like them.

How do you know that?

Max9 Going to buy it together seems somewhat ... unromantical to me

What is romantic about buying a ring someone will (hopefully) wear on their hand for the rest of their life and not asking them about what they might want?

Carlos

Max9 I do not think we need activates to improve trust. I think we just need to talk.

« Previous Page Next Page »