youdontknowme Milord Yes, but again, a parent should know and acknowledge that sibling happiness came before ours: I can think that being a lawyer will give more possibilities to my son, but if this will make him unhappy while being a kid teacher is his aspiration, I will have to do a step back. Again, putting the child first. Any parent should adhere to this to the best of his possibility. Also, you can force your idea of what is best on a kid, or teen, but on an adult… if he doesn’t accept forcing him will just make him weaker (because he has to surrender to you) or alienate him (because he will not accept it). A parent loses in both cases.
A fairly modern view, but throughout history, the expectation that a son will learn his father's trade has been pretty common.
A lot of things evolved, the same idea of children as fathers’ property has changed and is no longer acceptable.
People from a strongly authoritarian background will not easily accept that postulate, and while I consider their perspective worse than yours, you will need some arguments as to why a momentary surrender leads to lasting weakness.
I never say this. Momentary surrender is something that can happen, and nothing wrong with this. Depression, a time of confusion, will need the parents to take control of the situation. But if the attitude is to force him/her, this will make him weaker and weaker. You can see with the belt. After the belt comes bands, then chastity bra, curfew, punishments, limit to use of PC, etc. Walt or Lukas stories are exemplary. More and more limitations, until rebellions. If there is no rebelling, control continue to tighten. Can you imagine a friend of you accepting to be, for example, spanked for maintenance once a week? Or having her girlfriend belted? Or accepting to have their legs tied together (I read all these things here)? No, of course, but with a belt on is much here to curb rebelliousness and to submit.
There are some who say that discipline is achieved by crushing a person and then building them up from scratch so that the person who has been subjugated can grow stronger than the insubordinate person ever was. It is a lot harder to argue against that than it is to just postulate that a person grows stronger with affirmation.
Well… there are pedagogical theories I stick to. Of course, I’m lucky to have a wife who is a professional in this field, but crushing a person and building them from scratch is not a recognized theory. What is pacific is that a child grows stronger with encouragement and praise from his family. With love and compassion. The contrary creates bitter, unhappy, and insecure people who more often than not will perpetrate this to their children.
