Getting out from the belt

Sasha

youdontknowme Not sure to be honest. I don’t spend much time thinking about it though. Because I know I’m not at a place I can fully handle it yet.
So the predominant thought is how do I get to a place where I can trust myself to handle this freedom? And sexual freedom isn’t the only area I’m still improving on. So in a lot of other things mom’s involved as much as with my siblings teaching me.

Joh

Sasha I understand but earlier or later you will the Situation you face IT and you have to handle it by yourself. This should be your Goal. I think it is Not a solution If the responcibility will be handed over from your mother to your husband.

If you feel dubmisive and would Like to have a dominant husband IS another Talk. From what you wrote this is Not your Case.

Sasha

Joh Please don’t misunderstand, the end game has never been a simple hand over. As I’d mentioned in another post at some point I’m essentially “growing up again” in other words, mom was willing to hit a reset button almost no one has a chance to use.
So she’s teaching me about self reliance, responsibility, discipline, etc as my siblings are experiencing it. With the obvious exception of me having a job and contributing to our house.
I’ve never faulted her for being away so much as I grew through those years, she did what had to be done after all. And I was apparently a great actress, but turned out my grades were my only redeeming quality.

The huge obvious difference between us though is mom and I regularly discuss my maturity and how I’m assessing it vs how she is. And decisions are made from that point. Eventually I’ll have free access to the keys, and may hand them to a wife or husband. I may also decide that’s where my belt comes off. But for now we both agree it’s best it stays put, and the additional equipment while dating is a good idea

youdontknowme

Sasha the end game has never been a simple hand over

That is not how I intended that little tease to be seen anyway. More in the sense of graduating from the belt as something you feel that you need to something that you enjoy to have. When you already own the device and are used to its practical concerns, it would be a shame to leave something like that behind completely.

Sasha Eventually I’ll have free access to the keys

When that day approaches, you will do well to have a plan to what you will do with them. Obviouly you should not be relying on the belt to keep you away from reckless acts forever, but if you want to save yourself (or the "yourself" you regained over your recent experiences at least) for marriage, there will probably be a significant timespan between the point where you feel confident in your self control and the point where you know your partner is the one you want to spendyour life with. What role will the belt play at that point?

Joh

Sasha Yes. I know but I mentioned to make awair to everyone. It May be a more easy solution but I think Not the right one.

Regarding you Future Partner. I simple wrote husband because I was Not aware your preferences. With Angelina isvwas clear from a early time in. And with you it Sounds Like the future will Show us.

I also musst say you and your mother is a great example for Handling this difficult Situation you have maneouvre in yourself. You Show a self critical View on yourself, a carefull analyse and thoughts in your next steps. I also find it verry good you seek Help and advice from your mother. She seems to be a prudent Person and consider different Views on a topic before she decide.

Sasha

youdontknowme Not sure what role the belt and accessories will play at that point. That’s what makes me excited for this future. The future I used to anticipate ended abruptly and tragically.
This is a future with so many possibilities, it’s exciting not knowing where it goes actually. That’s my driving force, seeing where this goes. There’s an aspect of that past I’ll never be able to leave but it’s a constant reminder to stay the course, not the negative most take it as.

Sasha

Joh No worries about my preference, all I want is someone that treats me well and can accept me as a whole. Gender isn’t important to me.
And she is a terrific woman, I’m sure she’ll appreciate the compliment

Joh

Sasha For me it is clear. I prefere women 😁
Oher have to find Out for them selfe. I hope they find the right one and will be Happy a Long time.

Joh

Sasha And she is a terrific woman, I’m sure she’ll appreciate the compliment

Please Tell her.

youdontknowme

Sasha This is a future with so many possibilities, it’s exciting not knowing where it goes actually. That’s my driving force, seeing where this goes.

Aristotle once said we cannot change the wind, but we can set the sails. Obviously you have a rough idea of your destination, and a course you are on for now. Nobody can know exactly what the future will look like, but that should not keep us from making plans. And adapting them as the circumstances change due to things out of our control.

Renita

Joh If you want to wear it again do it on your own terms with another KH.

But you can't get another parent.

Joh

Renita So you mean your parents will disapier?

Rina

Renita But you can't get another parent.

There can be many kind of keyholders, like your trusted friends, your partner, or your spouse.

Renita

Joh So you mean your parents will disapier?

Just a remark.

Angelina

youdontknowme That is a bit more than once.

well, his decision was, "stay in the belt until you get married". that's one decision. of course, this decision had an impact every day, but it is also a decision that you cannot simply reverse without appearing untrustworthy yourself

Milord And financial and emotional support by parents is a right, not a priviledge.

right, but there are different ways in which this can be lived out. let's put it bluntly, my life would not have been 1% better if my father was in prison because he locked me in the belt. My father raised me alone (with the help of his parents) and I give him credit for that, I can't destroy both of our lives because I think one thing is completely wrong, I have to weigh it up and think about what makes sense

Milord

Angelina may I ask you what your is your relative's position? If no one wears a belt in your family, what do they think about it?

youdontknowme

Angelina well, his decision was, "stay in the belt until you get married". that's one decision. of course, this decision had an impact every day, but it is also a decision that you cannot simply reverse without appearing untrustworthy yourself

I know you were raised to stay true to your decisions, but to continue upholding a decision you know is wrong, just for the sake of upholding it, is also a choice you make. And that is the choice he kept making.

Laura

Milord may I ask you what your is your relative's position?

Her grandma fully supported the idea

Christine

Milord I'm not comfortable with the idea that you have to move out to get rid of something

I moved out for my own reasons, not to get rid of the belt.

Milord May I ask how is life unbelted?

The whole life has changed.

Milord What changed, it has been a barely noticeable or a great revolution?

Nothing, but the situation has reversed.

Milord If no one wears a belt in your family, what do they think about it?

Mostly curious

Angelina

Milord may I ask you what your is your relative's position?

from my immediate family only my grandma is still alive and she knows and supports it (although for different reasons than my father, so rather religious reasons)

youdontknowme but to continue upholding a decision you know is wrong,

he doesn't think the decision was wrong. he knew it was illegal, but he still thinks it was right

Milord

youdontknowme totally agree. If I take a wrong decision, I apologize with my son and correct it. I don't think my son have a poor idea of me just because I change my idea, as long as there is a solid basis for this

youdontknowme

Milord If I take a wrong decision, I apologize with my son and correct it. I don't think my son have a poor idea of me just because I change my idea, as long as there is a solid basis for this

It takes a big man to admit a mistake and act on that. I am not sure that Angelina's dad has realized the value in that. Or imparetd it on her, for that matter.

Milord

youdontknowme thanks for compliment, but not deserved. Reality evolves, and a good idea can also degrades into a bad one. @Angelina: Admittedly putting you in chastity against your own will was a bad idea from start, and not moving from it in my own opinion made it just much worse
Errare humanum est, perseverare autem diabolicum
Making error is human, insisting on it is diabolical.

youdontknowme

Milord thanks for compliment, but not deserved.

On the contrary, there are too many people around who would never admit their mistakes, especially not in front of people they have authority over.

Milord

youdontknowme admitting mistakes don’t undermine authority and greatly improve trust, one of the pillars of leadership
Anymore, @Angelina father’s behavior is undefendable. Criminal for start, he continued too. For the law it would have been an aggravated condition.

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