Ahoy! I'm a mid-thirties sort of a chap, British in origin but currently living in the land of moose and vikings. Well, one of them. Norway.
I've had something of an interest in the topic for longer than I can remember, and played around with chastity here and there over the years. For me, it's not so much about sex, the not having of; but rather about the observation that when I'm getting less of it, I tend towards begin/becoming a person that I like better than "the normal me".
That really crystallised about half a decade ago, when a close friend - C - introduced me to the neologism "procrasturbation" - masturbation for the purposes of procastination - and it occurred to me that, although I had not conceived of it in exactly those words, that was exactly what was slowing down the writing of my doctoral thesis. While it never became the sexual relationship I would have liked to have had with her, one thing led to another, and I spent a number of weekends in a chastity cage to which she held the key, and I got an awful lot more writing done than I usually did. (And finished the really boring theory chapters so I could move on to the actually interesting parts, too!)
I've been in a serious relationship with a Norwegian lass, K, for a smidge over a decade now - yes, overlapping with that period, and, well, It's Complicated, but suffice it to say that K was aware of and had no problem with C's awareness and involvement, or my interest in her sexually - of which 6 years were long distance. Which was not particularly conducive to any kind of chastity-based relationship (self control: I haz it not). We finally moved in together in 2019.
For various reasons, chastity didn't rear its head again until recently. I brought it up again in what I would describe as one of our "serious talks", and K decided to play along with it. You know those serious talks. "I love you"; "I'm thinking about moving to Norway"; "we should buy a house"; "time to replace the car"; "I think you should lock my genitals in a metal cage".That sort of not-quite-every-day, more-important-than-most discussion that adults occasionally have indicating that they have Grown Up and Become Responsible.
I should probably clarify that I consider chastity to be both a sexual fetish, and a non-sexual thing, and from my lurking here, it's clear that the admins have a clear preference that the former be either entirely omitted, or at least de-emphasised, here, so I shall endeavour to respect that. On the latter subject, I suppose the point for me is that while I don't trust myself, for my own benefit, to abstain for masturbation; it makes a non-trivial mental difference when that becomes "because K would like me to". At that point, the metal cage becomes almost a side line: important, but no longer the key dividing line between should/shouldn't; can/can't. And as mentioned above: I like the person that I tend towards becoming when I do make that dividing line: I'm better at putting my energies both into less-selfish activities, and also activities that I would like to have done, but do not necessarily want to go through doing (such as pulling my finger out and learning Norwegian properly).
So there we are. That's me (long winded). Hi folks!
