Reasons for chastity

he can also be sure if there is no punishment for it. if I hide something and he finds out, even by asking me, I get a punishment for my misconduct but not for keeping quiet

so I'll definitely get a punishment but not for keeping quiet.

Vanessa

It is surprising he thinks lieing is even more serious.

Especially as it feel it won't happen often,anyway,even if the punishment would be less severe.

It could be harder for her,but maybe make her father less insecure,yes.And so,it could improve her situation.Not an easy choice...

Yes,but if it is a punishable offense too to lie by omitting,it would help him to feel more secure about you,as @Sara2001 suggested.This way,he would know you would tell him what you did,even if he doesn't ask you the right question.

Angelina

it's a rule that gives me freedom but also a bad conscience. it probably sounds strange to many people but my father says it improves communication and he's right, asking for details is very important and so my father can teach me and train himself 😉

Vanessa

Personally,I think it is better to not be allowed to hide our misconducts to have a better communication.

Have you never avoided a punishment,due to this rule?

If he didn't ask the right question,and you felt guilty to not have been punished for what you did,had you told him anyway,to get rid of these guilty feelings?

Angelina

this is exactly the point which makes this rule very useful

i know my father would appreciate it if i came to him myself and confessed my wrongdoings

so I always talked to my dad about it to get rid of my guilt

and I will also get a lighter punishment 😉

Vanessa

If you always tell your father about your misbehaviour,it is not useful to add this rule,as you do it anyway,even if not mandatory,yes.

Except I don't get a lighter punishment(and I guess it is not the case for @Sara2001 either),maybe because it is a rule and not my choice to be honest.

Angelina

yes it is an advantage, which in theory is not an advantage, but i often get a lighter punishment when i confess to my father and most of the time i do

Sara2001

Vanessa Except I don't get a lighter punishment(and I guess it is not the case for @Sara2001 either),maybe because it is a rule and not my choice to be honest.

At the end I get a lighter punishment, because if my father finds out that I tried to hide something important from him my punishment will definitely get an additional and very hard punishment for lying.

Vanessa

If you can't keep it secret without feeling guilty,it is more an advantage,to get a lighter one.

It is a bit different,you would get an harder one instead of a normal one,while @Angelina may get a lighter one instead of a normal one.

My parents too.And it is often the case,I think.

Sara2001 Yes, our families are different in this aspect but I can totally understand my fathers position.

My parents have the same opinion,considering lying,and I can undearstand it too.

Had you considered adding a similar rule?

Angelina

Hiding is not lying

Too bad your father feels differently 🙁

Sara2001

Angelina Hiding is not lying

Yes, our families are different in this aspect but I can totally understand my fathers position. For the same reason my rules always cover the idea behind something and not only the exact wording.

Angelina

i understand why your father thinks so and i have often wondered if this is the right thing for us, but we succeed with this special rule 😉

Angelina

no we have never thought about adding penalties for silence. my father wants to give me an incentive to freely admit a mistake.

and one week grounded is better than 3 weeks grounded or? 😉

Vanessa

You get only 1 week of grounding if you admit something that would be punished by 3 weeks of grounding?It is a way lesser punishment!

What are you restricted to do when grounded?Only going out and spending time with friends(and Camryn),or some leisures are taken away too(watching TV,listening music,going on the net...)?

Angelina

yes it is a much easier punishment, so I often use this chance 😉

most of the time i have to write a long essay about my misbehaviour, it has to be finished by the end of the week, as long as i can do that i am allowed to do everything, but i am not allowed to have any personal contact with camryn or my friends during this time (only phone, writing etc.)

Vanessa

It is worth telling the truth,if it is so reduced,sure.

Even if writing an essay,and no meeting with friends or girlfriend is not pleasant,it is not too hard.In my case,if the grounding is severe,I've not much leisures left.But the first thing taken off during grouding is meeting my friends and Emilie,and then,cell phone/net taken away.

Sara2001

Vanessa I have similar rules if grounded. I am normally limited to my room or have to do chores in the house. I am normally not allowed to use the internet, tv, music or my phone. I am only allowed to stay in contact with others by phone once a day, supervised by my father. In my family grounding should be boring and if I am to bored, I can ask for tasks in the household.

Vanessa

Same for me.Being boring is part of the punishment.I could do more household tasks too,or studying(even if not a student anymore,if grounded,I can still ask for reviewing my lessons).

Does your boyfriend have special privileges and can meet you if you're grounded?

But when the essay is done,you can have a not so bad grounding.

Angelina

my father always says that i must comply with the punishment, but i may continue to use everything else, of course i am restricted to my room and may only leave it if my father allows

but mostly the essays are very long and i have little time for tv/online etc. 🙁

Angelina