Free from CB

Avery

youdontknowme The toilet cubicle certainly explains how you can take off the belt in private, but is an unbelted toilet stall safe? I guess toilet masturbation might mostly be a guy thing, for... ahem... waste disposal reasons.

I don't worry about safe in that regard, that I might cheat on my chastity. I have the key and take the belt off at night anyway so I could cheat then. If I do get the urge at night and have trouble fighting it off I put the belt back on. I still have the key, but having the belt on is a reminder that I'm about to have a fail. Or I might take a cold shower if it's not too late in the evening.

youdontknowme as an unremarkable male I just do not fit the typical profile of potential victims, so I cannot really give a qualified opinion on potential threats.

You may think so but from talking to the police after I was attacked they seem to feel it's not the particular person who is sought after but more a matter of some random person going into the wrong area, like an unlighted pathway, or a path thru a heavily wooded area, and the attacker is waiting for whoever comes along.

youdontknowme

Avery As much as it pains me as a not-that-different-from-straight male to say that, most attackers are straight males. Combine that with the fact that women are often perceived as defenseless, and I would consider it very presumptious of myself if I claimed to understand the dangers you face. Of course they are not looking for the most attractive individual or anything, but that does not mean they would try and jump someone like Terry Crews.

Avery

youdontknowme that does not mean they would try and jump someone like Terry Crews.

Looks like you have a point there.

Jen

youdontknowme women are often perceived as defenseless

We freekin are - it's ridiculous it's not just perceived. I never even knew until one time with my cousin - just playing - but there's just so much strength they never show us

youdontknowme

Jen I do not doubt that for a second for the average man and the average woman. I am quite far from Terry Crews though, and I am sure there are plenty of above-average women out there who can kick my butt.

But my mention of perception was about the fact that perceived strength difference is what allows the attack to happen in the first place. The actual strength difference is what allows the attack to succeed. Of course oversimplifying things a lot here, but my point is that as a male I cannot possibly understand how defenseless a woman must feel at times.

Joh

Jen We freekin are - it's ridiculous it's not just perceived. I never even knew until one time with my cousin - just playing - but there's just so much strength they never show us

Physical strength is one part but from what I have heard not the most important.
I have heard from a teacher of self-defence for women what is the biggest overcoming for the participants to react at all. Most of them just froze. He said that it has been shown that when women react properly, most men recoil and many leave it alone.

Megan

Jen We freekin are - it's ridiculous it's not just perceived. I never even knew until one time with my cousin - just playing - but there's just so much strength they never show us

I have been very fortunate in life and in love that I only felt how much stronger a fit man can be than a fit woman in a romantic setting 😅...
My husband and I were having a little wine in the living room and I turned and laid with my back on his shoulder than turned around to start kissing him. I only drank a reasonable amount, we don't drink until we are messy drunk but Basically he carried me to the bed with my legs around him and rolled me onto the bed. I was kissing him and thought we were still in the living room and that I would fall on the coffee table and not the bed. So I was startled. We had already removed a lot of my clothes and his shirt and my cb with the buckle lock had been opening without me even noticing so when I looked up I saw him setting my belt down. I basically fell out of chastity which I never thought would be possible

I was SO ANGRY at the time and just stormed off but several days later I realize he didn't mean anything bad by the whole thing. He thought I saw what was happening while I was kissing him.

Avery

youdontknowme But my mention of perception was about the fact that perceived strength difference is what allows the attack to happen in the first place. The actual strength difference is what allows the attack to succeed. Of course oversimplifying things a lot here, but my point is that as a male I cannot possibly understand how defenseless a woman must feel at times.

What you say makes sense. But I remember in talking to the police they feel that the possibility that the crime will be interrupted is very important. The potential rapist assumes he can overpower the woman but he must find her in a circumstance where he can then proceed with the crime and no one will interfere. Thus they tell you to avoid lonely places and to make a lot of noise if you are attacked.

Renita

Saintprudence “Unlocking just once a week to masturbate” is not much different than “you can masturbate any time you want.”

Do you mean "unlocking for sex once a week" in my case?

Rafael

Saintprudence Virtuous behavior doesn’t take a break. “Unlocking just once a week to masturbate” is not much different than “you can masturbate any time you want.”

At the end I think exactly the same.

Megan

Joh I have heard from a teacher of self-defence for women what is the biggest overcoming for the participants to react at all.

I have seen some of these classes and they really aren't realistic, especially with the stress involved.
Also I should NOT be expected to protect myself from rape. There is plenty of $ to remodel cities where there aren't dark alleys or dangerous areas to go stalk people in.

Some advice is almost like bullying even if you mean well..

Jen

Joh for women what is the biggest overcoming for the participants to react at all.

Yes they teach us

Joh He said that it has been shown that when women react properly, most men recoil and many leave it alone.

Like I get what you're saying but do you see how it's a react and hope he stops

Avery

Saintprudence Virtuous behavior doesn’t take a break. “Unlocking just once a week to masturbate” is not much different than “you can masturbate any time you want.”

I take your meaning but in my case I think if I could look forward to doing myself once a week I would feel a lot more confident in getting through a long period of time without my belt, which is the only way it matters to me.

Joh

Megan I have seen some of these classes and they really aren't realistic, especially with the stress involved.

I can not say anything how good the classes are you have be in or here in Germany. I only know from hearsay. I can't get my own impression because they are only open to women.

Megan Also I should NOT be expected to protect myself from rape. There is plenty of $ to remodel cities where there aren't dark alleys or dangerous areas to go stalk people in.

I totally agree with you. Our environment should be safe everywhere and to every time.

Nevertheless to know how to react in a situation is always helpful. For example, a first aid course to help in an emergency situation even if that is the task of the ambulance. The same with a self defence course. It will not help when you if you bring yourself in a dangerous situation because you walk in an unsafe area. But it can make the small difference that they stop and you get away when you are in a normal area with the change of getting help from other persons near by.

Renita

Megan and my cb with the buckle lock had been opening without me even noticing

Maybe he didn't lock it before?

Joh

Jen Like I get what you're saying but do you see how it's a react and hope he stops

Don't get me wrong. A self defence course is not a solution of the principle problem. It's supposed to help you reduce the risk of a successful rape.
It will not help you if you meet someone who is determined and has no scruples. Or if he holds a knife to your throat.

Angelina

Joh

i think the most important thing is that the attackers think that we are not defenceless, even if we are. of course a self-defence course is a good thing, but much more important is that we don't present ourselves as potential victims. if someone thinks that we are too difficult a target, we probably won't be attacked either. unfortunately i don't know the exact methods, but i think it is important that we discuss this honestly.

Megan

Angelina unfortunately i don't know the exact methods, but i think it is important that we discuss this honestly.

I think don't have dark alleyways to go wander around. There aren't any dark alleys in the cities I visit.
I guess that is easier said than done if you live in a city that's hundreds of years old but you could modernize over it.

Me and my husband like Natasha from Yeah Russia, she is a Youtuber who is very funny and positive and she depressed us by almost getting assaulted and raped in one of her live streams. I think Russia might be one of the very worst cities for women to protect themselves because the whole place has very bad visibility and isolated streets. She is very depressed about the war too right now, she might quite her channel.

Joh It's supposed to help you reduce the risk of a successful rape.

I'm sure you mean well and there have been women who beat up drunks who try to rape them but those criminal men are always borderline handicapped anyway to begin with.
If it were against a man as fit as my husband all the loud shouting and kicking and pocket knives and mace in the world wouldn't do anything.

Joh

Angelina if someone thinks that we are too difficult a target, we probably won't be attacked either. unfortunately i don't know the exact methods,

One way is you look strong.
A friend of my had borrowed a down jacket from me. Since she was a head shorter, it was more like a coat. With all the down in the jacket, which was much too big for her, she looked really broad-shouldered. The next time we met, she told me that everyone gave her a wide berth, which is never the case.

Angelina

Joh One way is you look strong.

Good tip, unfortunately it's not an option for me. but i noticed that it helps to have friends from the goth scene, they are very nice people but they look menacing 😂

Megan

Renita No idea I didn't remember but that was the first time I realized up close that he's faster and fitter than me and not just watching him play around in a gym...

I'm not mad anymore it's finally funny now but I was so mad that night

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