Telling others about your belt

Vanessa

Sara2001

Right,I haven't thought about it,but if he's used to this lifestyle,no need to hide it.Which can be different for your brother's girlfriend.

Angelina you are the only one i think will get married before me 🙂

And she would probably be married before me too,yes.

Sara2001

I hope for you you would manage it.So you will start to prepare soon,right?

Ines

And I would add it is not the subject of the board(but I don't think @Sara2001 used it in a BDSM context).

Sara2001

bismarck Sara2001 Have you discussed with your partner that if you beget daughters, will they have to wear the belts later, or even the bands

We don't know now. But not very likely.

bismarck If there is a sudden fire, earthquake, tsunami, volcanic eruptions, sinking boats, bad human traffickers abduct your children, terror attacks, zombies infection, martian invasion...... under panic, it would be very difficult or even unable to find the key to the bands also it takes time to open the locks. Any time delay could be regretful

In middle Europe nothing of that happend in the last thousands of years, or it was at least seldom enough to not be an aspect. If our house is on fire I can get out quick enough, even with the tightbands. But that I will have to wear the tightbands (which I hate), doesn't mean that this is the case for hypothetical children, too.

bismarck What he's done to you and your female family members are very disrespectful.

I think he hasn't demand anything dangerous. But you are right, that females don't get the same respect from males as males from females in our family. Of course this is absolutely the case. Man lead, woman have to follow or will be punished. Man lead in freedom, woman have to accept strict rules and limitations. That's how or family is organised, absolutely.

Angelina then perhaps I will be right, with us summer 2023 is the goal

2022 is what we hope, but 2023 is likely, too.

Vanessa Right,I haven't thought about it,but if he's used to this lifestyle,no need to hide it.Which can be different for your brother's girlfriend

Yes, that's why there is a difference.

Vanessa I hope for you you would manage it.So you will start to prepare soon,right?

What do you mean? Prepare wedding? We have already started to make plans but we haven't booked anything or things like that.

Vanessa And I would add it is not the subject of the board(but I don't think @Sara2001 used it in a BDSM context).

BDSM is not a part of our life. I think BDSM is a sex game.

Kurt

Sara2001 Vanessa Angelina Laura @Ines
First of all I want to apologize for this post, I start to begin reading the entire forum and every single post in it. I'm far from achieving that goal, but I try my best (info for the admins, the ones I marked as „following“ are the ones I have already read. I don‘t know if you can see this.)

By reading your comments (so far), a picture of you about your characteristics , starts to form in my head and I want to confirm if this pictures of you, I‘ve drawn so far, is near the reality (the reality in MY opinion). So this was one of the reasons I was making this post. This way I can confirm that my guesses (for now) of you are true (and yes they are).

This is your forum and I‘m only a guest in it. And I know you want this not to go out of hand and so you take action instantly and your absolutely right about this. Because of how you handle this, this forum is such a great place and I wish it would stay like this. So again I apologize for doing this post.

The other reason for doing is, is a longer text. Which I would start writing (this should take a couple of days) and I would post it in offtopic. But I will not post it, if you don‘t get me the go for it.
I can also write the text and send it to the admins via email so they can approve if I can post it.
So the decision is on your site.
Have a nice day!

Angelina

Vanessa And she would probably be married before me too,yes.

this is entirely in your hands 😉

Sara2001 2022 is what we hope, but 2023 is likely, too.

What does it depend on ? (except if you want to)

bismarck

Sara2001 Miss to mention snow avalanche or car crash. Yes I also think human have a reason to be born with two legs instead of one point some some legs, and as it is not about BDSM I think you both may change mind on that too! It's good to hear that your children are not going to suffer the restraints. I've met some scarfed or veiled women I stop short of that I saw one woman with sweat all over the face I think many men would like to see his partner dressing conservatively but if having a daughter could not tolerate her feeling unhappy.

Vanessa

Sara2001 But not very likely.

So this "tradition" would probably end with you(as your sister and brother seem to want equal rights relationships)!

Sara2001 What do you mean? Prepare wedding? We have already started to make plans but we haven't booked anything or things like that.

Yes,like deciding which guests would be invited,the flowers you will have,the caterer,the room where you and your guests would take the meals,etc...

Sara2001 I think BDSM is a sex game.

For some,it can be a lifestyle,I think,but different than your relationship and not related to chastity.

Angelina this is entirely in your hands 😉

If I want to follow my plans,it is in the hands of my employer(or future employers),too!😉

Sara2001 Finishing his studies, finding a job, finding a place to live and organising a wedding day.

I think it can be hard to manage studying and wedding at the same time.

Sara2001 I think this will be very difficult, because this day is soooo important for me.

I would not like at all to not be allowed to take decisions for my own wedding,or never have the final saying...Do you think he will take care to make his choices close to what you want,even if it is him who would decide?

Angelina Home Office ? 😂

It would be useful to be trained to work from home in case of a pandemic,like presently!

Laura

Kurt I can also write the text and send it to the admins via email so they can approve if I can post it.

Please don't do it, because I don't have time for it.
Your posts are fine, no need to apologize.

Ines

I think the same. No previous censure here.

Sara2001

Angelina What does it depend on ? (except if you want to)

It's maybe to much to organise at the same time. Finishing his studies, finding a job, finding a place to live and organising a wedding day. But we will try our best and I will do anything to make his life as easy as possible, so he hopefully has the time to organise everything. It will be a good prove how good I really am in accepting his decisions. I would love to decide everything around our wedding on my own, but I will only be allowed to explain how I would like it and make suggestions without demanding something. I think this will be very difficult, because this day is soooo important for me.

Angelina

Sara2001

yes i agree it is much better if everything is well organised beforehand, of course i think in a relationship like the one between daniel and you, it is very important that daniel is independent and can finance you both

i admit i would burst if i was only allowed to say what men wanted at the wedding and not organise it myself. admittedly when i talk to camryn about this it is more likely that i become almost as dominant as your boyfriend 😂
because i am afraid of losing control, because a wedding has to be planned and my friend is more of an impulsive person

Sara2001

bismarck Miss to mention snow avalanche or car crash.

No mountains in my area, too. Car crash is of course possible. That's a risk we have to accept.

Angelina it is very important that daniel is independent and can finance you both

Yes, that's how we want to have it, I love the idea of staying at home and taking care of it and make it a place he loves. I think I don't need to work outside to be happy.

Angelina i admit i would burst if i was only allowed to say what men wanted at the wedding and not organise it myself

I am allowed to give any input I want for the planning, I am just not the decision maker.

Angelina because i am afraid of losing control, because a wedding has to be planned and my friend is more of an impulsive person

Daniel is very structured. He is someone who planns almost everything. I like that.

Angelina

Sara2001 I think I don't need to work outside to be happy.

Home Office ? 😂

Sara2001 I am allowed to give any input I want for the planning, I am just not the decision maker.

do you think that he will try to orientate himself to your wishes? does he only tell you the final result, or do you also receive information in between, about which you may say your opinion ?

Sara2001 Daniel is very structured. He is someone who planns almost everything.

he seems to have a lot in common with me, I think if I was Daniel's girlfriend we would just plan and discuss all day 😂

Sara2001

Angelina do you think that he will try to orientate himself to your wishes?

Of course. If there is no reason to not do something in the way I suggest, why should he decided against my wishes? He loves me.

Angelina does he only tell you the final result, or do you also receive information in between, about which you may say your opinion ?

We talk about everything related to this regularly and he explains what he has discovered and how I think about it and things like that, I think just like any couple. I am just not the one who makes the final decision and of course I have to stay calm, even if he decides something I really don't like, but so far this didn't happen. Mostly he takes a lot of care of my wishes.

Vanessa So this "tradition" would probably end with you(as your sister and brother seem to want equal rights relationships)!

We will see. Probably.

Vanessa Yes,like deciding which guests would be invited,the flowers you will have,the caterer,the room where you and your guests would take the meals,etc...

We think about guests but not the rest for now. Very early state, we more talk about what kind of .... we think would be good and why.

Vanessa I think it can be hard to manage studying and wedding at the same time

We think so, too.

Vanessa Do you think he will take care to make his choices close to what you want,even if it is him who would decide?

If he wants me to say yes, he should 🙂 Why should I marry someone who doesn't take care of my wishes in such an important event.

Vanessa It would be useful to be trained to work from home in case of a pandemic,like presently!

I would still have to follow my boss at work and he wants me to only follow him and I think that's easier for me, too.

Angelina

Vanessa Yes,like deciding which guests would be invited,the flowers you will have,the caterer,the room where you and your guests would take the meals,etc...

what does it look like with you, have you and emilie thought about it ?

Vanessa For some,it can be a lifestyle

but then it is a lifestyle and not a bdsm anymore, i rather agree with @Sara2001

Vanessa I think it can be hard to manage studying and wedding at the same time.

I hope I can contradict that 😉

Vanessa It would be useful to be trained to work from home in case of a pandemic,like presently!

i rather meant that a housewife's combination would work better 😉

Sara2001 why should he decided against my wishes?

i do not know your wishes, maybe they are unrealistic

Sara2001 I would still have to follow my boss at work and he wants me to only follow him

hmm... interesting, it seems daniel doesn't like it when someone other than himself gives you instructions. you work in the IT business if i remember correctly or ? daniel could give you some money to work independently, then he would be the only one you have to account to as an investor

Vanessa

Sara2001 We talk about everything related to this regularly and he explains what he has discovered and how I think about it and things like that

Good you decide it together!🙂

Sara2001 Probably.

Not a bad thing.Chastity belts should be used willingly only.

Sara2001 Very early state,

Right,you still have time to start to prepare it,but it can take time,so you should not wait too long,especially if you want to marry in 2022.

Sara2001 If he wants me to say yes, he should 🙂

😉

Good you can have much impact on it,even if not directly.

Sara2001 I would still have to follow my boss at work and he wants me to only follow him and I think that's easier for me, too.

So,working from home is not possible in your case?

Angelina what does it look like with you, have you and emilie thought about it ?

A bit,but we would prepare it more when one of us would get a permanent job and would start to search for our own flat.But we discussed it a bit,guests,where we would like to go after the wedding,what sort of meal we would like to have,etc...But nothing set in stone for now.

Angelina but then it is a lifestyle and not a bdsm anymore, i rather agree with @Sara2001

Don't you think there can be "bdsm lifestyle"?

Angelina I hope I can contradict that 😉

Let's hope for you and your girlfriend you would manage it,yes!🙂

Angelina i rather meant that a housewife's combination would work better 😉

What are you calling a "housewife's combination"?

Sara2001 Now my father sends money from my bank account to Daniels when we need to buy something for me or for leisure activities.

A complicated way to manage it.

bismarck Many conservative Japanese wife also do not work after marriage, but they would control the wealth of the family and arrange money her husband to spend every week. It works.

I doubt @Sara2001's boyfriend would like it!

Angelina

The owner of the key should not be the only one able to access the emergency key.If he has an accident,or can't be contacted,the wearer would not have access to the emergency key either.

Sara2001

Angelina i do not know your wishes, maybe they are unrealistic

This would be something else, but I think they are very normal.

Angelina daniel could give you some money to work independently, then he would be the only one you have to account to as an investor

Yes, IT, software. No, I will not work in my job after marriage and even before I don't have access to my bank account. My father and Daniel take care of my money. Now my father, then Daniel. Now my father sends money from my bank account to Daniels when we need to buy something for me or for leisure activities.

bismarck

Sara2001 Many conservative Japanese wife also do not work after marriage, but they would control the wealth of the family and arrange money her husband to spend every week. It works. Many millionaires have too much money in their pocket, divorce their wife and become playboy.

You would need backup the keys keeping at separate hands and places in cases some accidents or "force majeure" you don't have much trouble in breaking the metal to free yourself. It is talking of emergency, not about trust or not trust.

Angelina

Sara2001

well, it was just an idea of how you could run the household and keep working on the side without leaving the house or having another boss. you might want to keep it in mind just in case

and still, i could never imagine not being able to spend the money i earn myself. i am willing to share it with my wife later (if i earn more), but i would never declare this control

Sara2001

bismarck You would need backup the keys keeping at separate hands and places in cases some accidents or "force majeure" you don't have much trouble in breaking the metal to free yourself. It is talking of emergency, not about trust or not trust.

Of course there will be an emergency system. I think it will be similar to my father's system. A safe with the keys inside, protected with a pin code. The pin will most probably given to his or my father, but not to me.

Angelina and still, i could never imagine not being able to spend the money i earn myself. i am willing to share it with my wife later (if i earn more), but i would never declare this control

Yes, that's very clear 🙂

Angelina

Sara2001 The pin will most probably given to his or my father, but not to me.

why doesn't he keep the PIN code himself? i don't know what else is in the safe (if it's just the keys it's ok) because when i think of my father using the same system, he would never give the PIN to anyone else

Sara2001

Angelina why doesn't he keep the PIN code himself?

Of course he knows the pin for himself. He doesn't need to give it to himself.

Angelina i don't know what else is in the safe (if it's just the keys it's ok) because when i think of my father using the same system, he would never give the PIN to anyone else

Passports and Documents and things like that.

Vanessa Good you can have much impact on it,even if not directly.

Otherwise it would not work in the long run.

Vanessa So,working from home is not possible in your case?

At least it is unwanted.

Vanessa A complicated way to manage it.

The easiest without me having access, I think.

Angelina

Vanessa Right,you still have time to start to prepare it,but it can take time,so you should not wait too long,especially if you want to marry in 2022.

that's true, but i think one year of planning should be enough 😉

Vanessa A bit,but we would prepare it more when one of us would get a permanent job and would start to search for our own flat.But we discussed it a bit,guests,where we would like to go after the wedding,what sort of meal we would like to have,etc...But nothing set in stone for now.

yes it is still difficult at the moment, does emilie have a job or is she still studying?

Vanessa Don't you think there can be "bdsm lifestyle"?

no, in my opinion, bdsm is a game, because as a lifestyle it cannot really be integrated into everyday life

Vanessa What are you calling a "housewife's combination"?

a woman who takes care of the household as her main task, but also earns money in her home office 😉

Vanessa The owner of the key should not be the only one able to access the emergency key.If he has an accident,or can't be contacted,the wearer would not have access to the emergency key either.

i admit this is indeed a risk with us, but we do not have many other possibilities. the only possibility would be for my grandma to get the code, but since we have other things in our safe than the emergency keys, my father does not want it

Sara2001 Passports and Documents and things like that.

well, that's a difference to us, we also have valuable items stored there, that's why my father won't give anyone the code and i only get it in an emergency

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