Home and family rules

Angelina

Vanessa Almost half the essay,so.

i finished my essay 🙂

Vanessa I imagine these chains are very unpleasant!Only when you're at home,but,as it seems you're not allowed to leave even your room,it is almost permanently...

only on the two days when i am at school otherwise permanently i don't know what is worse the chains or that i am not allowed to leave my room, i think both 🙁

Vanessa I would have felt too strict.

I understand you, but then I would be puneshed for being aggressive too 🙁

Vanessa "and that's one of the reason I am punished when late".

that's true

Sara2001

this can also happen to me too, the difference is that it would affect the rules (like previous curfew) and not the punishment

Vanessa

Sara2001 Yes, there is a base severe enough to try hard to avoid it in general, a scale, so even if already broken I will try to be at home as soon as possible and normally everything is doubled for the second occurrence in a short time period, and doubled again for any further offence in a short time period (like a month).

Same for me,if late,I would get punished,and the later I would be,the severer it would be.

For my parents too,an offense is considered as a repeated one,if it occurs again in less than 1 month after the last time it occurred,generally.And,of course,it leads to a more severe punishment...It is a pretty effective deterrent...

Sarah

It seems common,yes.

Angelina i finished my essay 🙂

Congratulations!🙂

Angelina i don't know what is worse the chains or that i am not allowed to leave my room, i think both 🙁

I agree,both should be very unpleasant...However,even if you were allowed to leave your room,going out with the chains would be hard...

Angelina I understand you, but then I would be puneshed for being aggressive too 🙁

Yes,it is a risked way to act;but I'm not always very wise when angry!😉

Angelina this can also happen to me too, the difference is that it would affect the rules (like previous curfew) and not the punishment

Would the rules be affected for a long time,or during only a short duration?

Sarah

Vanessa for my.mom it was about learning the rules and then showing you learned them by following perfectly, if you didn't then you needed help to learn and after making sure the rule was not broken due to lack of understanding then punishment was the next stage.
I am fairly sure my routine and rules were a lot like Sara, mom was very strict and more so after I finished University and was home permanently with Lorraine

Angelina

Vanessa Congratulations!🙂

now I "only" have to hold out until Wednesday night

Vanessa I agree,both should be very unpleasant...However,even if you were allowed to leave your room,going out with the chains would be hard...

the link chains make too much noise, I'm not going out with that
i have decided, both are bad, especially psychologically, i feel like a prisoner in chains 🙁

Vanessa Yes,it is a risked way to act;but I'm not always very wise when angry!😉

first think then speak, that's the key 😉

Vanessa Would the rules be affected for a long time,or during only a short duration?

the rules would then be in my contract, so for a longer time 🙁 therefore it is actually even worse than if my punishments would become harder (with repetitions) 🙁

Vanessa

Sarah

It seems usual.Good she take care you didn't break a rule because you've not understood it before punishing you,however.

Vanessa

Angelina now I "only" have to hold out until Wednesday night

Your punishment would soon be ended now,good!🙂

Angelina the link chains make too much noise, I'm not going out with that
i have decided, both are bad, especially psychologically, i feel like a prisoner in chains 🙁

If they are noisy,better to not go out with these on,sure.

I can understand how you feel;very bad,sure.

Angelina first think then speak, that's the key 😉

Right,but not easy when angry.

Angelina the rules would then be in my contract, so for a longer time 🙁 therefore it is actually even worse than if my punishments would become harder (with repetitions) 🙁

If it could mean another contract with a lower curfew included in it,it would be a very bad decision to risk it,I agree.

Angelina

Vanessa Your punishment would soon be ended now,good!🙂

only 24 hours left, definitely a very severe punishment 🙁

Vanessa I can understand how you feel;very bad,sure.

definitely 🙁 luckily it will be over soon

Vanessa If it could mean another contract with a lower curfew included in it,it would be a very bad decision to risk it,I agree.

that's exactly what I mean

Vanessa

Angelina only 24 hours left, definitely a very severe punishment 🙁

Finished,now,right?Very severe,yes,too severe for the offense you did,in my opinion.

Angelina that's exactly what I mean

Yes,not a good idea to risk it,it would have bad consequences,even after the punishment...

Angelina

Vanessa Finished,now,right?Very severe,yes,too severe for the offense you did,in my opinion.

yes I am finished and may go out again 🙂

yes a very hard punishment, fortunately camryn helped me

Vanessa

Angelina

Good it's done.🙂

It is good too that Camryn and you can still spend time together,even when you're punished.

Angelina

Vanessa It is good too that Camryn and you can still spend time together,even when you're punished.

as i said before i am very strict that my punishments have no effect on camryn and our relationship 🙂

Vanessa

Angelina

Good it is allowed,even if I guess it needed a long talk for getting it.

In my case,preventing me to spend time with my boyfriend/girlfriend was often a part of being grounded,as my parents knew it always was a hard part of such punishment.I'm not sure it they would still use it,if I misbehave seriously...

Angelina

Vanessa Good it is allowed,even if I guess it needed a long talk for getting it.

of course, it's very easy to use a punishment that involves my relationship

and then I have to keep finding a replacement punishment, so that I can prevent that

Vanessa In my case,preventing me to spend time with my boyfriend/girlfriend was often a part of being grounded,as my parents knew it always was a hard part of such punishment.I'm not sure it they would still use it,if I misbehave seriously...

then you should try to come up with your own appropriate punishment that does not affect your relationship and then suggest it to your parents

Vanessa

Angelina of course, it's very easy to use a punishment that involves my relationship

Yes,it is one of the worst ones,and a very good deterrent for serious offense.

Angelina and then I have to keep finding a replacement punishment, so that I can prevent that

It was not easy,but worth it.

Angelina then you should try to come up with your own appropriate punishment that does not affect your relationship and then suggest it to your parents

I may do it,but I don't think they would care about my opinion on this subject...

Sara2001

So I will answer the question here. My bf is dominant out of himself. He loves to be in charge and to take care of me and my actions.

strictfather

Sara2001: so you admit to be submissive. Maybe it would be better for you to be a bit less submissive. but this is my opinion.

Angelina

strictfather Maybe it would be better for you to be a bit less submissive.

maybe but this is a character trait she has no influence on, it is due to her education in her, this is my opinion 🙂

Angelina

Vanessa It was not easy,but worth it.

at least i have managed that none of my contracts says as a punishment that there are restrictions that camryn is allowed to visit me 🙂

Vanessa I may do it,but I don't think they would care about my opinion on this subject...

well you have to take this task very seriously and the punishment must be very hard, i know it is difficult to think of punishment for yourself but it is worth it for the relationship 🙂

Vanessa

Angelina at least i have managed that none of my contracts says as a punishment that there are restrictions that camryn is allowed to visit me 🙂

If understandable you manage that there would be no punishment implying you have to break-up with her,it is surprising you managed to not be forbidden to meet her for a few times(even a few days),as punishment!

Angelina well you have to take this task very seriously and the punishment must be very hard, i know it is difficult to think of punishment for yourself but it is worth it for the relationship 🙂

The most difficult part would be to make my parents accept I can have a part in what punishment I could get if I misbehave.But I would think about it.

Sara2001

Vanessa The most difficult part would be to make my parents accept I can have a part in what punishment I could get if I misbehave.But I would think about it.

This would be the same for me, too. Sometimes my bf tries to make me a suggestion for a punishment, but I never do.

Angelina

Vanessa it is surprising you managed to not be forbidden to meet her for a few times(even a few days),as punishment!

in return she has promised to support me, for example, if I am grounded and am not allowed to leave my room, she brings me food or drink for example because I have no desire to constantly ask my father for permission

Sara2001 Sometimes my bf tries to make me a suggestion for a punishment, but I never do.

this is something i don't understand, it doesn't feel soo bad for me when i design the punishment (at least partly) by myself as if not

Vanessa

Sara2001

Would you be punished if doing it,or would it only be not taken into account?

Angelina in return she has promised to support me, for example, if I am grounded and am not allowed to leave my room, she brings me food or drink for example because I have no desire to constantly ask my father for permission

Still surprising your father accepted it.

Sara2001 I am raised with the idea that the punished person should not have any saying when it comes to the punishment.

Same for me.

Sarah

Same for me too.

Angelina

The purpose of the punishment is to not be pleasant at all,and our parents probably think it would be more effective if we can't have our input taken into account for it,as we would always try to get one a bit "less worse"(logical,no one want to be punished,and the less hard it is,the better it is for us).

Sarah

And if you don't accept it was necessary?

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