Home and family rules

Vanessa

Angelina only 24 hours left, definitely a very severe punishment 🙁

Finished,now,right?Very severe,yes,too severe for the offense you did,in my opinion.

Angelina that's exactly what I mean

Yes,not a good idea to risk it,it would have bad consequences,even after the punishment...

Angelina

Vanessa Finished,now,right?Very severe,yes,too severe for the offense you did,in my opinion.

yes I am finished and may go out again 🙂

yes a very hard punishment, fortunately camryn helped me

Vanessa

Angelina

Good it's done.🙂

It is good too that Camryn and you can still spend time together,even when you're punished.

Angelina

Vanessa It is good too that Camryn and you can still spend time together,even when you're punished.

as i said before i am very strict that my punishments have no effect on camryn and our relationship 🙂

Vanessa

Angelina

Good it is allowed,even if I guess it needed a long talk for getting it.

In my case,preventing me to spend time with my boyfriend/girlfriend was often a part of being grounded,as my parents knew it always was a hard part of such punishment.I'm not sure it they would still use it,if I misbehave seriously...

Angelina

Vanessa Good it is allowed,even if I guess it needed a long talk for getting it.

of course, it's very easy to use a punishment that involves my relationship

and then I have to keep finding a replacement punishment, so that I can prevent that

Vanessa In my case,preventing me to spend time with my boyfriend/girlfriend was often a part of being grounded,as my parents knew it always was a hard part of such punishment.I'm not sure it they would still use it,if I misbehave seriously...

then you should try to come up with your own appropriate punishment that does not affect your relationship and then suggest it to your parents

Vanessa

Angelina of course, it's very easy to use a punishment that involves my relationship

Yes,it is one of the worst ones,and a very good deterrent for serious offense.

Angelina and then I have to keep finding a replacement punishment, so that I can prevent that

It was not easy,but worth it.

Angelina then you should try to come up with your own appropriate punishment that does not affect your relationship and then suggest it to your parents

I may do it,but I don't think they would care about my opinion on this subject...

Sara2001

So I will answer the question here. My bf is dominant out of himself. He loves to be in charge and to take care of me and my actions.

strictfather

Sara2001: so you admit to be submissive. Maybe it would be better for you to be a bit less submissive. but this is my opinion.

Angelina

strictfather Maybe it would be better for you to be a bit less submissive.

maybe but this is a character trait she has no influence on, it is due to her education in her, this is my opinion 🙂

Angelina

Vanessa It was not easy,but worth it.

at least i have managed that none of my contracts says as a punishment that there are restrictions that camryn is allowed to visit me 🙂

Vanessa I may do it,but I don't think they would care about my opinion on this subject...

well you have to take this task very seriously and the punishment must be very hard, i know it is difficult to think of punishment for yourself but it is worth it for the relationship 🙂

Vanessa

Angelina at least i have managed that none of my contracts says as a punishment that there are restrictions that camryn is allowed to visit me 🙂

If understandable you manage that there would be no punishment implying you have to break-up with her,it is surprising you managed to not be forbidden to meet her for a few times(even a few days),as punishment!

Angelina well you have to take this task very seriously and the punishment must be very hard, i know it is difficult to think of punishment for yourself but it is worth it for the relationship 🙂

The most difficult part would be to make my parents accept I can have a part in what punishment I could get if I misbehave.But I would think about it.

Sara2001

Vanessa The most difficult part would be to make my parents accept I can have a part in what punishment I could get if I misbehave.But I would think about it.

This would be the same for me, too. Sometimes my bf tries to make me a suggestion for a punishment, but I never do.

Angelina

Vanessa it is surprising you managed to not be forbidden to meet her for a few times(even a few days),as punishment!

in return she has promised to support me, for example, if I am grounded and am not allowed to leave my room, she brings me food or drink for example because I have no desire to constantly ask my father for permission

Sara2001 Sometimes my bf tries to make me a suggestion for a punishment, but I never do.

this is something i don't understand, it doesn't feel soo bad for me when i design the punishment (at least partly) by myself as if not

Vanessa

Sara2001

Would you be punished if doing it,or would it only be not taken into account?

Angelina in return she has promised to support me, for example, if I am grounded and am not allowed to leave my room, she brings me food or drink for example because I have no desire to constantly ask my father for permission

Still surprising your father accepted it.

Sara2001 I am raised with the idea that the punished person should not have any saying when it comes to the punishment.

Same for me.

Sarah

Same for me too.

Angelina

The purpose of the punishment is to not be pleasant at all,and our parents probably think it would be more effective if we can't have our input taken into account for it,as we would always try to get one a bit "less worse"(logical,no one want to be punished,and the less hard it is,the better it is for us).

Sarah

And if you don't accept it was necessary?

Sara2001

Angelina this is something i don't understand, it doesn't feel soo bad for me when i design the punishment (at least partly) by myself as if not

I am raised with the idea that the punished person should not have any saying when it comes to the punishment. I was never allowed to suggest a punishment before.

Angelina

Sara2001

would it be accepted if the punishment were very severe? (theoretical question only)

Sarah

Sara2001 I am same, mom never asked if I wanted a punishment, it happened and I accepted, my liking it was never even considered

Sara2001

Angelina would it be accepted if the punishment were very severe? (theoretical question only)

It is clearly forbidden in any situation. My father always said: "We are not on a market place", when any of us tried to make a suggestion.

Vanessa Would you be punished if doing it,or would it only be not taken into account?

It would very notably increase the punishment, I haven't tried it in a long time, but I think something between 50+100% more severe. Depending on the situation.

Angelina

Sarah my liking it was never even considered

this is also not the idea behind it, the idea behind it is that we deal with our misconduct and develop an appropriate punishment that does justice to the seriousness of the guilt. but of course the parents have the last word

Sarah

always mom had the last word once i had accepted punishment was nessecary

Angelina

Sarah always mom had the last word once i had accepted punishment was nessecary

of course the parents have the last word, it's all about participation

Vanessa Still surprising your father accepted it.

that camryn supports me or that she may continue to visit me ?

Vanessa The purpose of the punishment is to not be pleasant at all,and our parents probably think it would be more effective if we can't have our input taken into account for it,as we would always try to get one a bit "less worse"(logical,no one want to be punished,and the less hard it is,the better it is for us).

that's why it's more about dealing with my own misconduct, that's why my father's essays are very important and whenever I'm punished there is always a long conversation beforehand

Sara2001 "We are not on a market place",

I think our fathers would fight a lot 😉 understandably your father has a different educational approach than mine

« Previous Page Next Page »