Should only females get belted?

Vanessa

Angelina i sometimes experience the same with camryn

Not surprising...Always unpleasant...

Angelina of course @Sara2001 does not have a shield with her saying that she accepts it voluntarily.

Yes,it's why I can understand people could think it is against her will and would want to help her.

Angelina

Vanessa Not surprising...Always unpleasant...

unfortunately yes, I think it should become more normal

Vanessa Yes,it's why I can understand people could think it is against her will and would want to help her.

especially because many women who really experience abuse from their partner do not dare to say it.

Sara2001

Angelina we can't see if the woman agrees or if she feels abused by her husband

Only if you know the person better you can be 100% sure, but I think there are signals someone who has experience can see.

Vanessa it would not be acceptable by them.

Yes, exactly.

Angelina of course @Sara2001 does not have a shield with her saying that she accepts it voluntarily.

In public nobody will notice anything, except me walking a bit slower then usual. I think we hide it very well and we have to do so for good. I can do a lot without anybody noticing.

Vanessa Yes,it's why I can understand people could think it is against her will and would want to help her.

Yes, I think strong religious people want to help homosexuell persons, too. That's there honest intention, because they can't imagine that it is not an issue for you. In 99% of the situations, something you don't like is something nobody likes. I think it's in our genes and has something to do with protecting your tribe.

Max9

Angelina especially because many women who really experience abuse from their partner do not dare to say it.

That concerns especially men who get abused. Every fith reported abuse is commited by a woman and with a male victim. Many estimations say the amount of unregistered cases is very high as there is a general acceptance for it. It starts with backpipes in movies and ends with sayings like "One doesn't hit women" - whereas it should rather be one doesn't hit anyone. Neither women, nore men.
If someome hits a woman in puvlic many people come to help - when a woman hits a man in public people say he probably deserved it even if they don't know anything about the circumstances.
And I want to take this opportunity again - as sort of being a male rights activist here already lol - that if the gender is not to play a role, we must also apply this rule to men.

Vanessa

Angelina unfortunately yes, I think it should become more normal

I agree,but I doubt it would be more normal soon...

Max9

I agree.

And especially this part:"it should rather be one doesn't hit anyone. Neither women, nore men."

If I would have a boyfriend/girlfriend who would hit me,the first hit would be the end of the relationship.

And I would never hit a boyfriend/girlfriend.

Angelina

Max9 "One doesn't hit women" - whereas it should rather be one doesn't hit anyone. Neither women, nore men.

that's right, that's why i'm against feminism. many women make themselves out to be victims even though they're not. but these women don't do anything good for the real victims of abuse either. but yes i agree with you physical abuse shouldn't happen in any direction.

Angelina

Vanessa I agree,but I doubt it would be more normal soon...

unfortunately no, even though many always pretend to be very modern, many are actually rather conservative inside.

Vanessa If I would have a boyfriend/girlfriend who would hit me,the first hit would be the end of the relationship.

i agree with this, i generally reject any form of physical violence (also for punishment) and that is why i would also separate myself.

Vanessa

Angelina even though many always pretend to be very modern, many are actually rather conservative inside.

I think so,too.

Sara2001 In 99% of the situations, something you don't like is something nobody likes. I think it's in our genes and has something to do with protecting your tribe.

Possible.But they could make an effort to understand us...

Sara2001

It is not a bad way to use these.A discreet warning no one would notice,but making you know you should take care to avoid a punishment.

Angelina

Sara2001 Only if you know the person better you can be 100% sure, but I think there are signals someone who has experience can see.

yes, someone who has experience with it recognises it, but and many people do not have it

Sara2001 In public nobody will notice anything, except me walking a bit slower then usual. I think we hide it very well and we have to do so for good. I can do a lot without anybody noticing.

I didn't mean the chastity equipment, but in case you ever get an "announcement" from daniel.

Sara2001

Angelina I didn't mean the chastity equipment, but in case you ever get an "announcement" from daniel.

Yes, but I can get what you call an announcement in public without anyone knowing it. We have special words that are only used in special situations. When he uses these words, I know what is going on and how to react.

Angelina

Sara2001

so an anonymous code, so that you know you've done something wrong but no one else notices ?

Joh

Angelina so an anonymous code, so that you know you've done something wrong but no one else notices ?

It looks like. Good way to handle it in public.

Sara2001

Angelina Yes, several words and gestures that we don't use normally have a clear meaning, so I know how to react.

It's not only about punishment but also about doing something, saying something, things like that. I have to share his opinion when it comes to decisions when we are with friends for example. There is a word he uses when I can say my own opinion.

Angelina

Joh It looks like. Good way to handle it in public.

yes that's true

Sara2001 . I have to share his opinion when it comes to decisions when we are with friends for example.

and that's another thing where your relationship style hurts me inside 😂 but ok, it's your decision.

Vanessa

Sara2001

It seems a good way to communicate together well,while staying discreet about it.

Not too hard to show to other people you agree with him,even if you don't?

Sara2001

Vanessa Not too hard to show to other people you agree with him,even if you don't?

I think it feels like a great gift from me. I honestly doesn't think in categories of what would I want or not. I just follow his point of view without thinking about it to much. He is the one in charge anyway and all I could earn from openly disagreeing in public is a good punishment when we are back at home.

Angelina

Sara2001

when you agree with him in public, does he notice if you really agree with him or if you just do it because it is appropriate? are you allowed to tell him when you are alone that you actually have a different opinion?

Vanessa

Sara2001

Good if you appreciate it,generally,and not feel it too frustrating!

Sara2001 If he recognis it in my reaction, it's likely that I get a punishment for it. It counts as a form of back talking which is of course not okay.

Even if it was not at all your purpose?

Sara2001 Later in private I am of course allowed to talk about this situation in a calm and respectful way, but it should still not be any form of back talking.

Good point.

Sara2001

Angelina when you agree with him in public, does he notice if you really agree with him or if you just do it because it is appropriate? are you allowed to tell him when you are alone that you actually have a different opinion?

In the moment itself, I should not it when my personal opinion is different. If he recognis it in my reaction, it's likely that I get a punishment for it. It counts as a form of back talking which is of course not okay.

Later in private I am of course allowed to talk about this situation in a calm and respectful way, but it should still not be any form of back talking. During maintenance, I could be fully open about my point of view.

Angelina

Sara2001 If he recognis it in my reaction, it's likely that I get a punishment for it.

for bad acting ? sorry i don't think that's ok

Sara2001 Later in private I am of course allowed to talk about this situation in a calm and respectful way, but it should still not be any form of back talking. During maintenance, I could be fully open about my point of view.

that sounds ok 🙂

Sara2001

Angelina for bad acting ? sorry i don't think that's ok

Yes, it's a sign of disrespect.

Angelina that sounds ok

We have our own ways 😉

Angelina

Sara2001 Yes, it's a sign of disrespect.

I'm writing this again in German because I'm not sure you understood it. "für schlechtes Schauspielern?" because for me this has nothing to do with disrespect.

Sara2001 I have to control my emotions in this area. It is really not to difficult, once you are used to it. I almost never need to be punished for this anymore.

well, it's not hard to control your emotions, that's true. i'm a rather emotionally cool person myself in public (it's different in private), but i think it's wrong to expect that from my partner. Camryn, for example, can't do that and I don't think it's disrespectful, it's just a character trait.

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