Angelina and if A would definitely have been better ? it's not about you getting what you want, it's about choosing the better alternative and i think that works best with discussion.
If he wants to decide what to do, he will ask my opinion and decide then on his own. If he thinks A is better, I will do A, if he thinks B is better, I will do B. If he don't want to take my opinion into account, he will not ask me and I will not give my opinion outside of maintenance without being explicitly asked or explicitly being allowed to give. So if A would be better, he would probably never know.
Vanessa If the punishment is less hard,can it be considered as a sort or warning?
Maybe as kind of, but it is still a real punishment.
Vanessa Do you think it is for such reasons and way to act there is generally less argument in such relationship?
I think his consistency in punishing me for absolut any incident, no matter if he wants it himself in this situation is very important. If a rule is given, his mood is must not be important for my punishment when I act inappropriate. I think the clear structure, the knowledge that I will get my chance to explain my point later and the deep knowledge that he primarily has my best in mind because of his deep love to me, makes it easy or even possible to never discuss anything.
Vanessa But what if he finally realize he was wrong to punish you,after the discussion?Is there consequences/compensations?
If we had an argument about something, he can't be wrong about punishing me 🙂 if he had punished me for something he made absolutely sure that I know why I am punished and he makes absolutely sure that I had the chance to tell him my point of view in a calm and respectful way. So unfair punishments are extremely, extremely rare. On the very rare occasion that they happen and he sees this later, he apologizes for it and we talk about how we can prevent it in the future, but there is no compensation like a smaller punishment next time or anything like this.
Vanessa And,if he realizes it afterwards,he may take @Sara2001's opinion more into account the next time.
Yes, that's basically how it works. HER boyfriend acts like this 🙂
Joh As far as I understand it, he has to do it every time, regardless of whether he is in the mood or not. Frankly speaking, that would be too much responsibility for me to carry all the time right now.
Yes, that's the point. He is responsible for the happiness of both of us. Non of us can be selfish in our relationship, but we have to show this in very different ways.
Vanessa Exactly.He is the "dominant",but @Sara2001 can stop it immediately if he don't act well.
It makes no sense to me to submit to something that is bad for me. I am not a slave. I need to feel that he does anything because of love to me.
