Distancing serious use from fetish.

Vanessa

Joh Every time I have been in a relation I learned something from it. About myself, to read other what kind of person they are and what we have to do that the relation is working over a long time.

I tend to think like @Angelina, it is not something like a list of mistakes to not do,but different for each people.

Max9 Except when your parents find a partner for you.

I would never have accepted it.Even if it would have meant having to leave and breaking the relationship with my parents.

Angelina that's why we should have a lot of conversations right at the beginning of the relationship to see if it can work, that's the only way to know if it has a future. 🙂

I agree,it's important.

Joh

Not sure they do the right choice,so...

Angelina

Joh You didn't choose the family.

that's true, but just from genetics alone, a certain affection in families is automatic, it's difficult to explain. i simply have much higher demands on a marriage than, for example, on a family relationship with my father. it has to be 100% genuine love. (I know it's difficult to explain)

Vanessa I would never have accepted it.Even if it would have meant having to leave and breaking the relationship with my parents.

I would never accept it either

Joh

Vanessa I tend to think like @Angelina, it is not something like a list of mistakes to not do,but different for each people.

What I point out is that with every relation I got additional experience.
The last time I was searched for a girlfriend I met many women but I knew after our date we do not match. With my girlfriend it was different. We had our date in the cafe and it ran so well that we spent the whole day together. We even went to the cinema in the evening. I also told her that she is the right one, but she was not so sure. Now we are together for years.

Joh

Angelina that's true, but just from genetics alone, a certain affection in families is automatic, it's difficult to explain. i simply have much higher demands on a marriage than, for example, on a family relationship with my father. it has to be 100% genuine love. (I know it's difficult to explain)

I agree with that.
My point was that if you are in the situation of an arranged marriage it is not easy to finish it because of the drawbacks you get.

Vanessa

Angelina I would never accept it either

Logical.

Joh

Good you met her,but don't you think it would have been the same,with the other women and your girlfriend,even if you had less or more experiences before?

Angelina

Joh My point was that if you are in the situation of an arranged marriage

i agree, although i would never enter into an arranged marriage. i would even prefer to spend the next decades in a chastity belt. 😂

Angelina

Joh

if she loves you with all your strengths and weaknesses as you are, it worked well, but i would never pretend.

Joh It was the right feeling with her and the wrong with the other.

i think you can notice it, but i don't think we need much experience for that, i already fell in love with my girlfriend a bit before we met in person (before only via videocall) but i just needed to have my feeling confirmed

and since yesterday we are 1 1/2 years happy together 😃

Joh

Vanessa Good you met her,but don't you think it would have been the same,with the other women and your girlfriend,even if you had less or more experiences before?

No, it wouldn't.

Vanessa

Joh

How can you be sure?

Joh

Vanessa How can you be sure?

I know it and see it on the outcome.
Sorry, I can't say it with more detail. It was the right feeling with her and the wrong with the other.
When I was looking for a girlfriend after my divorce it was not as clear as this time.

Vanessa

Joh

Anyway,it is good it worked for you.

Even,if,in my case,I don't think these feelings of right and wrong girlfriends are related to past experiences with other girlfriend(or only a bit).But I'm not sure we can agree on it...

Joh That can also be a reason why he does what he does.

Not sure,it seems @Angelina would likely not leave until she get married,which is not related to chastity devices...

Joh

Angelina nd since yesterday we are 1 1/2 years happy together

This is great.

Angelina i think you can notice it, but i don't think we need much experience for that,

This was not the point for the discussion. Yes, this can be and is great. Let us talk about your relation after some years you lived together how your relation is.

We started with my statement that your father didn't learned something out of his relation when he chose afterwards the wrong partner again and again.
It looks like you are a good example to do it right. Maybe you should teach him 😂

Angelina

Joh It looks like you are a good example to do it right. Maybe you should teach him 😂

maybe, i would be happy if my father finds someone, especially if i get married and move out one day, he might feel very alone. 🙁

Joh

Angelina maybe, i would be happy if my father finds someone, especially if i get married and move out one day, he might feel very alone.

Yes, this will be. That can also be a reason why he does what he does. But he should learn if he let you go it will be high likely you come back. How you write with 100%.

Angelina

Joh But he should learn if he let you go it will be high likely you come back. How you write with 100%.

i noticed that i don't leave him alone at all, if we work together we will see each other for several hours a day anyway. 😂

But I understand what you mean

Joh

Angelina But I understand what you mean

Good. It is a common problem of parents to let go their children after the long time under their protection.

Angelina

Joh Good. It is a common problem of parents to let go their children after the long time under their protection.

i understand, i would probably feel the same way, but i think i can slowly get my father used to it

Vanessa Not sure,it seems @Angelina would likely not leave until she get married,which is not related to chastity devices...

i will probably move out when i get married, maybe even a little sooner (just a few months)

Joh It could also be that after time she realise what he did to her and will leave.

i know that, but from both sides. you refer to the belt (which is definitely negative), i also refer to the fact that he took care of me alone for almost 18 years and that despite the fact that he worked a lot, i never felt short-changed.

Joh

Vanessa Not sure,it seems @Angelina would likely not leave until she get married,which is not related to chastity devices...

It is a egg or chicken question. I presume he started it because of it and the result is that @Angelina has from the whole process a strong and deep relation with her father and will likely not leave.
It could also be that after time she realise what he did to her and will leave.

Vanessa Even,if,in my case,I don't think these feelings of right and wrong girlfriends are related to past experiences with other girlfriend(or only a bit).But I'm not sure we can agree on it...

I was talking about the feeling at the first meeting not about my feeling during a relation. My confidence in my feeling at the first meeting increased with my experience.
I pointed out @Angelina s faster did not learn much because he chose every time the wrong partner.

Vanessa

Joh I was talking about the feeling at the first meeting not about my feeling during a relation.

It was what I talk about too.

Angelina i will probably move out when i get married, maybe even a little sooner (just a few months)

I think few months before getting married would be better,as you know.

I guess you would still have to wear the chastity belt,even if having your own flat,right?

Jen you can't say no to him

She can,if she accepts the consequences.

Jen its easier to think you a troll

It would be welcomed if you stop suspecting everyone here to be a troll(as you wrote in another post,you trust only 2 or 3 people here)...

Angelina a little over 2 years and yes i can accept it at least most of the time even though i still don't like it

It is(very)hard,but manageable.

Joh

Angelina you refer to the belt (which is definitely negative)

Yes, I did. And yes I agree.

Jen

Angelina i also refer to the fact that he took care of me alone for almost 18 years and that despite the fact that he worked a lot, i never felt short-changed.

Angelina I worry a lot. You keep writing things which show you are very dependent on your dad. You depend on him emotionally. You think you owe him. Here is is expected for parents to look after their kids, you don't owe them just because they were good.
How can you tell if what he requires is abuse. You think you decided, call it reluctant but really you can't say no to him so might as well call it forced.

Urgh its easier to think you a troll so I don't have to think about all this. It's just that I've had the slightest brush with this and see that if my parents were different people then maybe it really could have happened.

Vanessa

Joh Than it looks like I learned more from my past relation then you.

Or that we consider it differently.

Angelina i can answer both in one sentence. i don't have money for my own flat and my father will only finance our own flat when we get married.

I wondered because you told you may move a few months before:

Angelina i will probably move out when i get married, maybe even a little sooner (just a few months)

Angelina I would change the at all to "under the current circumstances"

Do you think about the pandemic,or other circumstances?

James

Jen Urgh its easier to think you a troll so I don't have to think about all this.

Welcome to life. Feelings, culture, people and situations are different and women are different everywhere.

RafaelGV

Jen Angelina I worry a lot.

Far be it from me to worry about someone I meet on the internet. You rightly point out the possibility of her being a troll.
Assuming not, I can see how this situation is possible. She has been wearing it for about two years. That is plenty of time to come to accept it.

Angelina

Jen You keep writing things which show you are very dependent on your dad.

i wouldn't disagree with that, of course i am dependent on my father both financially and emotionally. but if i take the topic of chastity equipment out of it, this dependency has almost no disadvantages for me and that's exactly how i can think the other way round. i can also think "he has done so much for me, i can probably let myself be locked up for a limited time" that sounds harsh but i have this thought sometimes

RafaelGV She has been wearing it for about two years. That is plenty of time to come to accept it.

a little over 2 years and yes i can accept it at least most of the time even though i still don't like it

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