According to my profile, I have been posting to this form since December 1st of last year. During that time, I have learned more than a few interesting facts, about subjects both familiar and unfamiliar. I have formed many opinions about subjects discussed here but have only shared a few. The subject of reluctant/unwilling wearing of chastity devices, however, has disturbed me profoundly. This is because being a willing wearer, I am very familiar with chastity devices but I do not want anyone to think that I approve or condone the idea of anyone being pressured into something they do not want. But equally, I do not want to offend others who are being forced by circumstances, to make unpalatable decisions.

Though I have no wish to offend however, I would encourage others to think about the ethics surrounding the reluctant/unwilling wearing of devices that cannot be removed by the wearer without access to keys etc. It doesn’t matter what these devices are. Ethically, it is about how the wearer is being pressured into being locked into something that decreases their quality of life and that they can no longer remove.

The issue is clearer for people who are above the age of consent; traditionally those over the age of twenty-one (or in some countries eighteen). Above such age, people in Western society are free to go out in the world and make their living. Though there are laws to limit exactly what a person can do to earn a living generally, providing that their actions do not cause harm to others or their property, they are free to do what they want. It thus makes sense that a person of such age is free to accept payment of some kind to have someone else lock something on their body even though they may not enjoy the sensation. Provided the contract is freely entered into, I have no issues with it.

The situation is far more difficult for people below the age of consent who may be judged too young or mentally unqualified to make such decisions. And once a person is incapable of surviving on their own without a support structure around them, their freedom of action is limited. Making such a person choose between having something locked on their person that limits their enjoyment of life, versus withdrawing the support structure that maintains their life, is for me utterly abhorrent.

From my perspective, adults that bring children into the world are ethically responsible to provide for them until the child can take care of themselves. This includes providing them with shelter, sustenance, and education to the point where they can become self-sufficient. In my view, this does not mean that the parent (or guardian) is free to structure their child’s life in a fashion that might harm the physical, mental or emotional development of the child. More specifically they cannot insist on their children conforming to a lifestyle that is outside of societal norms. Thus, to threaten to withhold shelter, sustenance and education to persuade a child to conform to a way of life outside of societal norms, is reprehensible, morally outrageous and probably against the law.

There are of course many areas where it is not so black and white. A parent has both a right and a moral duty to educate their child to a standard that can best help them survive when they “leave the nest” and enter society at large. But this “education” can easily take the form of undue persuasion to follow in the same footsteps as the parents – religion being an obvious example. But it also applies to moral outlook and politics etc. These can fall across a huge spectrum; from the extreme left to extreme right; liberal to conservative, atheism to extreme religiosity etc.

I believe that a better model of education is not to “indoctrinate” one view or another. Instead encourage the child to think for themselves, by asking them questions and demonstrating by example. It is a personal preference that I believe children should be educated to think. They need to learn how society functions and be familiar with the many philosophies that society as a whole espouses and also be made aware of the dangers of following those philosophies. They need to be cautioned against forming strong opinions until they have all the data needed to choose their lifestyle and become fully contributing members of society. The Socratic model of teaching has been an excellent teaching method for millennia and having the child choose their path based on learning is much more likely to produce a happy, informed and well-adjusted adult.

Sadly, I have never been a parent. My partner and I missed out on that. My views are thus not based on experience as such and I realise that being a parent is probably the most difficult job in the world. It is a job for which there is little or no training, and we generally only get to do it once and are never able to use the experience gained to be better at it next time.

Suffice to say, I am profoundly disturbed by many of the things I read on this site, particularly when parents are using threats to withdraw their sustenance and support. My only hope is that I can stir some readers here, into thinking about the ethics and morality of what they write here and only hope that this doesn’t devolve into the usual half or one sentence replies of trivial chat.

If the moderators think that this thread has no place on an unwed chastity forum, then I don’t mind if they delete it. At least I got to vent - smiles

    it has taken me a very long time to read and understand this, so any answer i write can only be inappropriate because it does not have this outstanding writing quality, which is exactly why and due to time constraints i only want to address one point

    Foxies this does not mean that the parent (or guardian) is free to structure their child’s life in a fashion that might harm the physical, mental or emotional development of the child.

    this is a point that my father defines differently, he does not see the belt as damaging me in my development but he sees it as a tool to promote my development.

    Foxies More specifically they cannot insist on their children conforming to a lifestyle that is outside of societal norms.

    at this point even i would disagree, it is simply none of society's business how i influence my child's lifestyle. societal norms can also be very bad and suppress a child's individual abilities. i know what you mean, but i wouldn't generalise. despite my father's decision (which i absolutely don't share), i still generally believe that children's education should only take place within the family.

    But otherwise I agree with you to a large extent. 🙂

      Foxies The subject of reluctant/unwilling wearing of chastity devices, however, has disturbed me profoundly.

      Me, too

      Foxies And once a person is incapable of surviving on their own without a support structure around them, their freedom of action is limited

      This is probably why this forum was created

      Foxies Sadly, I have never been a parent. My partner and I missed out on that.

      Why not adopt a baby / child? It's never too late for that.

      I think it's important that we don't support anyone who wants to belt soneone against ones will, but when someone agrees to being belted oneself ... with relucant wearing it's the problem that people are pushed into accepting the belt.
      Personally, I wish to having been belted at young age after all what I experienced.

        Angelina

        Smiles - Angelina, I really want to express my appreciation that you took the time to read my little essay. After all, if I can only give one person an opportunity to think on this subject, I feel it was not effort wasted.

        In response to your firs point, I would only say that I would have to agree to disagree with your father. I honestly can't believe that a belt (or any device at your age) could "promote" your development. I suppose that it is gratifying that he appears to have your best interests at heart, and further that you appear to be a strong and intelligent woman who hopefully will have the opportunity soon to make up your own mind. Sadly, not all adolescents are as strong as you.

        As for your comment about societal norms, I would agree that many norms can suppress a child abilities and even worse, poorly thought out political fashions can even be dangerous. They also tend to vary widely from culture to culture.

        In the end, I think the guide should always be "am I really doing my best for my child and I am I being unduly influenced by my own prejudices and thus putting my child at risk of mental, emotional, and physical harm". And finally, in extreme cases such as locking devices on that child, there should be a constant reevaluation process to ensure that the child is not starting to suffer harm.

          Max9 Why not adopt a baby / child? It's never too late for that.

          Smiles - I am 65 and my partner is even older. I do not think it would be fair on any child to have parents that old, who could conceivably die (or lose their marbles 🤣 ) before the child reaches maturity.

          Max9 Personally, I wish to having been belted at young age after all what I experienced.

          I would be curious to understand what experiences and at what age, would cause you to have that wish. To say I am shocked is putting it mildly.

            Foxies
            First of all thank you for your posting. I agree full with it.

            Foxies probably against the law.

            It is against international law.
            Convention on the Rights of the Child.
            German Law
            § 1631 BGB Inhalt und Grenzen der Personensorge
            (2) Kinder haben ein Recht auf gewaltfreie Erziehung. Körperliche Bestrafungen, seelische Verletzungen und andere entwürdigende Maßnahmen sind unzulässig.
            Content and limits of personal care
            (2) Children have a right to an upbringing free of violence. Physical punishment, psychological injuries and other degrading measures are inadmissible.

            Angelina it is simply none of society's business how i influence my child's lifestyle

            She was talking about the influence of the parents. And this is the society's business.

            Angelina i still generally believe that children's education should only take place within the family.

            When you believe this why are you going to school?
            Your father is not able to teach you all topics but he believes he knows better what is good for your despite scientific and medical research what abuse has a long time influence on children.

              Foxies Smiles - I am 65 and my partner is even older. I do not think it would be fair on any child to have parents that old, who could conceivably die (or lose their marbles 🤣 ) before the child reaches maturity.

              I'm 20 years old and my dad is 70 years old... you could adopt a teenaged kid....

              Foxies I would be curious to understand what experiences and at what age, would cause you to have that wish. To say I am shocked is putting it mildly.

              Foxies The subject of reluctant/unwilling wearing of chastity devices, however, has disturbed me profoundly

              Agree. Thank you for the well written post.

              Foxies I agree with your line of thinking 100%. I realize there are some regional and cultural differences at play. I am from the USA, the parent of two children and could NEVER consider putting a child into a belt (want to is another story - lol, ) but I could not even suggest it to them.

              I even went back to the about 5 year old discussions on Mister Poll to try to wrap my head around these discussions... I still can't wrap my head around it.

              If someone over the age of consent asked me about them, I would offer my advise, but underage...

              When I was 20 (over 30 years ago) just after the stone age and dinosaurs... I was called by a 14 year old girl. She needed a ride to a clinic for a pregnancy test. (No such thing as a home test at the time.) The short story was, she WANTED a baby. Set a boy up (who was leaving the area) and purposely got pregnant. I've had over thirty years to understand that too... and have been unable to. (I knew her and her family.) Scary thing for me and my friend who took her to the clinic... we could have been found legally responsible since she was under age and we were over 18 and just trying to help (by getting her to the clinic.) This is a TRUE story.

              If a parent today, knew of a similar story AND knew of Chastity belts AND had a different culture.... I don't know how I'd feel....

              @Foxies just a suggestion: shorter essays next time. There are many here that English is not their primary language and having worked in that environment for a while, I know shorter is better. There can always be followup... 🙂 -- even this is too long 🙂

                JonesMacGyver @Foxies just a suggestion but shorter essays next time. There are many here that English is not their primary language and having worked in that environment for a while, I know shorter is better. There can always be followup... 🙂 -- even this is too long

                I do not agree. It is good as it is and also not too long. I am not a native speaker but their is help at the internet. I did translate some sentences with deepl.com to be sure to understand it right.

                  Joh
                  Yes I like usual long posts of Foxies, they are Chirurgycaly accurate.
                  And for me, every pressure is not ethical, belt only is acceptable since a true personal acceptance, and in this, obviously, our keyholders have a big role in our weak moments, but in these moments we need wisdom, not bribes.
                  And the approach "you wear the belt and I give you..... " maybe is not so bad as a forced wearing (anyway I do not believe in it and, frankly I think everyone that tell this is a troll), but, anyway is far of being ethical.

                    Foxies In response to your firs point, I would only say that I would have to agree to disagree with your father. I honestly can't believe that a belt (or any device at your age) could "promote" your development. I suppose that it is gratifying that he appears to have your best interests at heart, and further that you appear to be a strong and intelligent woman who hopefully will have the opportunity soon to make up your own mind. Sadly, not all adolescents are as strong as you.

                    i totally agree with you, that's why i would never use a belt on my child. i don't think it's right either (otherwise i wouldn't wear it unwillingly)

                    Foxies In the end, I think the guide should always be "am I really doing my best for my child and I am I being unduly influenced by my own prejudices and thus putting my child at risk of mental, emotional, and physical harm". And finally, in extreme cases such as locking devices on that child, there should be a constant reevaluation process to ensure that the child is not starting to suffer harm.

                    normally the process is the same for us, but on some issues i have a better chance of getting my arguments accepted and on some issues i have a worse chance. unfortunately the belt belongs to the second category and yes i hate the belt, but no it didn't break me psychologically 🙂

                    Foxies Smiles - I am 65 and my partner is even older. I do not think it would be fair on any child to have parents that old, who could conceivably die (or lose their marbles 🤣 ) before the child reaches maturity.

                    Rock legend Mick Jagger has become a father again in his 70s 😉

                    Joh She was talking about the influence of the parents. And this is the society's business.

                    I don't think we will get any more agreement on this point. 🙂

                    Joh When you believe this why are you going to school?

                    auch wenn ich jetzt etwas politisch werden muss. schau in unser parteiprogramm. die schule soll auf einen bildungsauftrag reduziert werden und erziehung sache der eltern bleiben und ja das ist auch meine persönliche meinung (sorry i have to write this in german because education and education are the same word in english)

                      It looks like but I hope it will in the future 😀

                      Angelina die schule soll auf einen bildungsauftrag reduziert werden und erziehung sache der eltern bleiben

                      This not possible. The school also has an educational mission otherwise it would not work because of the misbehaviour of some kinds.

                        JonesMacGyver just a suggestion: shorter essays next time.

                        I do understand the suggestion - smiles. Some people have a natural gift for brevity, obviously I do not 😂. But I feel that brevity tends to disconnect the reader from the emotions of the writer. Brevity ideally suits cold, complex factual matters. But this thread is not about facts. That some people are locked reluctantly or unwillingly into chastity devices, is not in dispute.

                        Rather, my intention was to write a thread about the ethics and morality in regards to pressuring someone to wear chastity equipment and obviously this subject can be extremely emotive. Even as a willing and enthusiastic wearer (or perhaps even because of it) my own emotions are very strong. I am also aware that brief short answers are in danger of being ambiguous, yet there is nothing of ambiguity in my feelings. But I also want certain people on this forum who do not have the circumstances that I do, to know that I am deeply sympathetic with their situation and in no way blame them for making the choices they do.

                        Thus I am afraid while ever the forum administrators permit me, I shall continue to post my occasional thoughts and I won't care about how long (or short) they might be. Suck it up! 🤣

                          Foxies LOL - I often fail when writing. I know exactly what I am talking about, so I can be brief; however, that does not help the intended audience. Since they do not know what I left unsaid in my head.

                          Foxies Though I have no wish to offend however, I would encourage others to think about the ethics surrounding the reluctant/unwilling wearing of devices that cannot be removed by the wearer without access to keys etc. It doesn’t matter what these devices are. Ethically, it is about how the wearer is being pressured into being locked into something that decreases their quality of life and that they can no longer remove.

                          I'm not totally in this case.I'm a reluctant wearer,but 25 years old,and I can stop it when I want(not without consequences,however).

                          Foxies only hope that this doesn’t devolve into the usual half or one sentence replies of trivial chat.

                          In my case,I don't have much time to answer it much more,sorry...

                          Max9 I think it's important that we don't support anyone who wants to belt soneone against ones will, but when someone agrees to being belted oneself ... with relucant wearing it's the problem that people are pushed into accepting the belt.

                          Generally,I think everyone here agree and are against forced wearing.

                          This includes in my opinion,threatening to have to leave/breaking the relationship with the family if not accepting,etc...

                          Not sure how to consider having more privileges,like a later curfew,a own car,etc...if accepting(as long as not accepting doesn't mean almost no freedom).It can be considered more as an agreement,maybe.

                          JonesMacGyver shorter essays next time.

                          Not necessarily.No problem with writing a long text here.

                          Ines I think everyone that tell this is a troll

                          Why?For some privileges,like a later curfew,it seems related...

                          Foxies Thus I am afraid while ever the forum administrators permit me, I shall continue to post my occasional thoughts and I won't care about how long (or short) they might be.

                          As I said,no problem if you write long posts!🙂

                            Vanessa Why?For some privileges,like a later curfew,it seems related...

                            No, Vanessa, I mean people that tell that she is totally forced. I am sorry, but in Western World, I do not believe them.
                            More or less reluctant it can be, and I see that is big amount of girls here.

                              Foxies

                              I've been wanting to reply to this but not really knowing what to say. I think really I just want to say thankyou for saying what is common sense. This forum is a weird introduction. Most web searches for "chastity belt" are porn or fantasy. This place tries to have real discussion and make some things seem normal.
                              Statements like this I would not believe elsewhere but your posts are very genuine and so I believe you.

                              Foxies However, on the topic of thigh bands, I have to differ slightly. I do wear them almost 24/7 and for the most part I am happy to do so.

                              But yes a very different situation and you do so well at writing what is wrong with forcing on others and what is not normal.

                              I've been thinking about what punishment I will get for refusing and for going back on an agreement. I can't imagine any actual forcing to wear that is just not them. I hadn't even considered education until I read "shelter, sustenance, and education" if they didn't pay I'd move to a public school for my last year. That would be the worst they could do without breaking the law but that is impossible. They support me and invest in my future they would not ruin it. Really I will be grounded so no phone no pocket money and no going out. I have not gotten myself a job so this has a big impact on me.

                                One thing that always stands out is the idea that it must be kept secret from people. There is one question that entered my mind as I learned about fgm and now this is. Is it appropriate for a teen to wear these? ...Consensual wearing is fine, whereby the act of the person(s) being made to wear the device is concerted. However, being forced to wear said device is extravagant; it's rather absurd. Disregarding the ethics of this and by this I mean forced use, i.e., using the carrot on a stick method (mixture of promises and threats), the act is not a concerted effort but rather an act of arm-twisting performed by the parents and when it is done perhaps has questionable legality.

                                JonesMacGyver I even went back to the about 5 year old discussions on Mister Poll to try to wrap my head around these discussions... I still can't wrap my head around it.

                                I had the same impression when I found it 😂