Resisting Parental Coercion

Vanessa

Not have much time to answer(and even less to have exchanges of several posts with arguments and counter arguments,even if it would be interesting),but I can easily think of counter-arguments that my parents would say to almost all the ones you used...

But,is it relevant for people who can stop it when they want if they accept the consequences?I can stop to wear it,only by telling them to give me my keys.But they would remind me they can decide I should take care of myself,including financially and housing(even if they may act a bit differently during the pandemic,but not sure),and they may decide to not have contact with me anymore(at least until I agree to wear it again or get married).It sounds awful,but except for the last part,it would be the case too,without anything related to chastity,if someone has to leave to another town for his/her studies,and the parents could not afford the rent or costs of the study(the case for many students,which makes the increased difficulty to have a student job presently very hard to manage)...

Jen the example conversation is too difficult I couldn't get through it with them. All the points you have to try and make them see reason they would twist around to show their reasons.

And,even if you plan it well,if they don't use the counter-arguments you thought they would use,you would have to be able to find another arguments,adapted to the talk,very quickly,which can be difficult.

Foxies

Some people come not frequently,maybe they would have more answer to post.

Joh

Vanessa and they may decide to not have contact with me anymore(at least until I agree to wear it again or get married)

Do you really believe they would do it because you have a different opinion?

What we try to do to give some information, arguments, thoughts and for what they could search for which help them with their situation. I hope we can also strengthen their self-confidence to stand up against this nonsensical request.
In the end, everyone has to decide for themselves what the best solution is.

Vanessa

Joh Do you really believe they would do it because you have a different opinion?

There is a true risk they act like this,yes.

Jen

Even if talking is often useful?

Jen

Foxies Sigh - maybe not..

This thread helped me realise I couldn't handle the conversation which is a good thing

Jen

Vanessa Even if talking is often useful?

Maybe talking is easier for you. I feel it like this weight I need to get out of and maybe the way out is not what I wanted.

Joh

Vanessa There is a true risk they act like this,yes.

And for how long?
If they break with you what does it mean about how much they love you as a individual person?

James

Foxies There is an entire field of communications science which basically concludes facts are only good for convincing people neutral or supporting your views. So rationality is more like rubbish here, especially when talking to a woman about her body.

Joh

James There is an entire field of communications science which basically concludes facts are only good for convincing people neutral or supporting your views. So rationality is more like rubbish here, especially when talking to a woman about her body.

I don't get it what you want to say.

Vanessa

Jen

It is not easy for me,I'm a bit "shy",not at ease,to discuss about sexuality and chastity with my parents,but,sometimes it is needed,and often useful,even if unpleasant.

Joh

Probably until I agree about wearing it again(with more restrictions,probably),or until I get married.

As I think they're sure it is for my own good(even if I disagree),I don't doubt they care for me.

Joh I have it as well from time to time.

Logical.Even for willing wearers,it is still hard,sometimes.

Ines

Well, I talk about a big skepticism, and even lately more, about weird tales, so, frankly I do not believe most of stories, however it is more impossible (yes, more IMPOSSIBLE) when children are involved.
I can not talk about circumstances in other countries, but in Europe, fortunately, is almost impossible.
I am willingly user, and sometimes I have crises, so imagine when there is forced use and misstrust and wrath is in the base of relationship between the girl and keyholder...
Another thing is when the girl accepts "sell" herself in exchange for some things... For me it is not ethical, it is not good, because both (girl and keyholder can wish more and more, I mean more material things one and more safety the other) and it can drive to hate... but It can be more or less possible.
I have a normal life and I find barely possible that a friend of mine could be forced to wear it, now in university and before, even harder).

Joh

Ines I can not talk about circumstances in other countries, but in Europe, fortunately, is almost impossible.

It should but I came to the conclusion it is really happen. I don't know how many a real but some show a consistence in writing which is unlikely to be a fiction.

Ines and sometimes I have crises, so imagine when there is forced use

I have it as well from time to time.

Ines

Joh

Joh real but some show a consistence in writing which is unlikely to be a fiction

I think it is likely a fantasy.

Joh

Ines I think it is likely a fantasy.

Sorry, I have to disagree.
The world has all nice and bad aspect you can think about.

As an example have a look at the Child sexual abuse statistic from Germany. 2019 was it 15.701 registered cases.
https://de.statista.com/statistik/daten/studie/38415/umfrage/sexueller-missbrauch-von-kindern-seit-1999/

Ines

Joh
Yes, of course it happens and is terrible, but, wear a chastity belt, and (sorry, are you wearer too?), hidden it when one is younger, is impossible, at the end a teacher, a mate will discover it Yes or Yes, and that mate will tell to her parents... And and and...
Those sad 15.000 abuses are reported to authorities.

Joh

Ines (sorry, are you wearer too?)

No.

Angelina

@Foxies

thank you for your answer, i have now roughly read over everything that has been written here in the thread (and am somewhat overwhelmed), some people here do not seem to understand that there are many levels between good and evil, between right and wrong, which are not firmly fixed. i think some posts miss the goal. that is why i am out of this thread at this point.

(but of course I will continue to read everything)

Joh

Angelina i think some posts miss the goal

I agree with you.

Angelina there are many levels between good and evil, between right and wrong, which are not firmly fixed

Yes, it is not onyl black and white but we have boundaries we can not change without getting in conflict with the law.

Angelina

Joh we have boundaries we can not change without getting in conflict with the law.

that was also a point i meant when i wrote some have missed the goal

But I think we could discuss this for several years and not come to a unified result. 😂

Joh

Angelina But I think we could discuss this for several years and not come to a unified result.

Maybe you'll come to the realisation of wanting to live in democracy instead of against democracy. It exists as a whole and not just in bits and pieces as it suits you.

RafaelGV

Angelina
I'll be the first to admit I missed the mark. The whole thing is new to me. I'm still trying to sort this stuff out in my head. I see this as a contrast between the rights of parents and children. I also wonder whether or not the government should intervene. Maybe they should or maybe they shouldn't.

Angelina

Joh Maybe you'll come to the realisation of wanting to live in democracy instead of against democracy.

I will fight for this politically 😉

RafaelGV I see this as a contrast between the rights of parents and children.

RafaelGV I also wonder whether or not the government should intervene.

a question on both
do you think the government knows what is good for families better than the families themselves? i don't think so.

Joh @Angelina decided not to go because the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.

that and that i think such things should be settled within the families. i definitely don't agree with everything my father does, but whenever i think about such ideas i try to put myself in the parents' shoes. i wouldn't want the state to tell me how to raise my child either. i would never use a chastity belt against my child's will, but i would also never let the state tell me what rules i should set up for my child in my home.

Joh

RafaelGV I also wonder whether or not the government should intervene. Maybe they should or maybe they shouldn't.

This is depended on the country where you live. Different counties different law.
If you talk about what is the right way what you believe which should it be we can discuss.
I come back what I wrote in another posting. The law of the country you are live is the frame in which you can move and decide. As I wrote above for Germany is a clear law what the parents can do or not whit their children. If you don't like it you can work forward to change the law. Nevertheless the law applied to you if you like it or not.
The law state you do not need to go to the police to report it. This is only mandatory for capital and terrorist crimes. @Angelina decided not to go because the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.

RafaelGV

Joh If you don't like it you can work forward to change the law. Nevertheless the law applied to you if you like it or not.

I Agree. Here the contrast between the rights of parents and children is considered.

Joh If you talk about what is the right way what you believe which should it be we can discuss.

I usually try to be neutral, but this time I'll share my opinion.

I believe that parents who force someone to wear a device are moralistic people. They make their child chaste and thus virtuous. In some cases, the parents are breaking the law and certainly violating the norms of their culture. The parents show a violation of the norms in the name of purity, this is not virtuous. Violations of the law must show a significant moral deficit. Parents expect their child to respect their authority, while parents do not respect the authoritarian nature of their culture. By that I mean this: some things are socially unacceptable, and even the most defiant parents need to follow norms to some extent. My personal belief is that society limits people, and it makes sense that parenting can also be restricted in some ways. In this sense, why should the child respect the wishes of his parents when the parents cannot respect the norms of their culture and the law? How can the parent do this? Is it a superpower or do I need a special ID? Can that free me from the standards of my culture? If that's the case, I'll pretend my culture and laws are a dollar menu in a restaurant. I can choose which laws I want to follow. I can choose which part of my culture I want to emulate and vice versa. While this is true, I can actually choose whether to obey the law and my culture. I can be ostracized and maybe even arrested if I'm not careful. Parents are not exempt from this; There is no superpower or special I.D.

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