lucy I just read a bit about your situation, and first I want to say I don't agree with your needing to wear a chastity belt, and neither that you need to let yourself be washed etc. by your mother. That she keeps saying she doesn't trust you seems unfair, since that was based on something you did perhaps 2 years ago - doesn't she get that people change a lot at your age, and it seems no more than normal to give you at least an occasional chance to prove yourself.
But since it doesn't look like you can change the situation, the only thing you can influence is the way you look at it. There have been a lot of posts here about how differently voluntary wearers experience their limitations, compared to involuntary wearers. Your thoughts and feelings about being your mother washing you (among other things) sound perfectly normal to me, but suppose you could try to look at it from another angle: like you are pampered by your mother - just like at the hairdressers, manicure, etc. - just 'sit back' and relax, and try not to think the negative thoughts, that might be perfectly valid, but don't help you.
