Long Term Chastity in Marriage

harlequin181

Hi everyone. I have a bit of a dilemma. I am recently married, and my husband has a pretty high sex drive. I am not permanently belted - we use it for a week or so at a time with long breaks in between because my husband enjoys how enthusiastic I am in bed with him after this. Now, however, he is saying that he wants to make it permanent, with me belted 24/7. During the periods that I’m not belted in the past, I masturbate a lot and he feels that he is neglected as a result, which is definitely true 😔 I don’t want to damage my marriage just because I can’t control myself, so I know that chastity is probably the best answer. I guess I just want someone to tell me it won’t be too awful if/when I do get belted 24/7.

Sin

harlequin181 This one is easy! Put your belt on, hide the keys from him and tease him relentlessly for a week or three. Sit on him, give him a real good close-up view, make him lick your shield etc etc. Then when he wants to take it further, just say "Nuh-uh, It's permanent now. It's what you always wanted!".

Problem solved, guaranteed.

Maximus

harlequin181

then what is the purpose of this discussion?

you are saying you have a proper belt for long term periods, you agree that maybe is not fair masturbate a lot, and..

harlequin181 I don’t want to damage my marriage just because I can’t control myself,

...but at the same time you are saying don't feel any compulsion to masturbate then could be released during periods ? this doesn't matches well..

I don't know if it's a bit drama, or fake or you just need more people tell you what you already know about the necessity or trying every day wearing

Jonas

harlequin181 Hello there!

I think chastity can really work in a marriage, but equally I don't think it is good for either partner to feel pressured into it.

To avoid any possible resentment further down the line, the belt has to be a free choice and should be treated as a highly appreciated and valued gift... something extra special, which it is!!

I know masturbation can short-circuit the sex drive and keep some people away from relations with their partner. This was the case for me so I understand the "😔" but, equally, I can definitely reassure you that my own belt has helped to bring my wife and I closer together.

It's worth remembering that it's possible to increase your belt use rather than go fully permanent, ...though being belted 24/7 has the advantage that you don't have to constantly readjust to and re-accept the belt itself.

How do you feel about wearing the belt at the moment? Can you imagine it being a positive, exciting part of your marriage? Do you enjoy the feeling of having to wait and does this make sex better for you? ~ All questions for you to think about. Best wishes!

Joh

harlequin181 and my husband has a pretty high sex drive
harlequin181 During the periods that I’m not belted in the past, I masturbate a lot

This sounds like you have an higher sex driven as you husband.
If you sufficient out of you time with your man why do you masturbate?

harlequin181 we can’t have sex

Why can't you have sex during this time? Is is a little bit messy but nothing which harms or you not get off by washing.

I recommend you establish talks about your expectation on a regular base. It should be mandatory in every relation ship. You should talk about all aspects of your sex live and normal live as well to get a clear picture what everyone needs and can offer. You also should talk about rules how situation will be handled if something s rise up, like you can't handle the belt 24/7.
You can find some helpful postings at Belted Wife

Maximus

seems a good approach, and I think is unfair abuse of masturbation when you are not separated by a physical reason like business travel and without his participation at least remotely 🙂 A couple should be able to mutually satisfy each other, and wait a bit until it.

but total 24/7 maybe is complex, at least with proper belt type, and about periods, I'm not female but think is very very complex... but is trully necessary?
any woman with some experience about that?

harlequin181

Maximus

Maximus but total 24/7 maybe is complex, at least with proper belt type, and about periods, I'm not female but think is very very complex... but is trully necessary?

I have a well-made custom belt that is no problem to wear long term. Regarding periods, I don’t feel any compulsion to masturbate during that time and we can’t have sex so it may come off just for those few days each month.

harlequin181

Sin

Sin I wish it was that easy 😂 Problem also is that he really likes oral so there’s no need to unlock the belt for that. He’s made it clear that if the belt goes on then only he has the keys.

Christine

Sin Put your belt on, hide the keys from him and tease him

I would do it too in this situation.

Vanessa

harlequin181 I am not permanently belted - we use it for a week or so at a time with long breaks in between because my husband enjoys how enthusiastic I am in bed with him after this.

So as a game?

harlequin181 I masturbate a lot and he feels that he is neglected as a result, which is definitely true 😔 I don’t want to damage my marriage just because I can’t control myself, so I know that chastity is probably the best answer.

No.It can be a tool to help,but not an answer.

You should instead try to know why you masturbate so much,and/or try to have enough self-control to reduce it.

harlequin181 it won’t be too awful if/when I do get belted 24/7.

It is very hard and frustrating.Easier to manage if you're a voluntary wearer.

Sin

🤣

It could work!😉

harlequin181

Can't you concentrate on other things until he's home?

What after the pandemic,if you normally work in a office?

Laura

🤣

It can be arousing,too.

Joh You could wear it only when he is not at home. Problem solved.

Right.

harlequin181

So it is more about starting a man-led relationship than to use chastity more seriously.

Jen The only thing you liked was short term - why don't you talk to him about lots of short term and maybe putting it on a day or two before he gets back from long trips.

It could work too,yes.

Laura

harlequin181 I have a well-made custom belt that is no problem to wear long term.

Does it prevent masturbation completely?

HHelen

harlequin181 Problem also is that he really likes oral

And doesn't give it back?

harlequin181 During the periods that I’m not belted in the past, I masturbate a lot

It shouldn't be an exemption.

Jen

Sara2001 we want to find out how many of them I need to stay happy.

Thats a scary idea. You say you're happy now - how many is it now........

harlequin181 we use it for a week or so at a time with long breaks in between because my husband enjoys how enthusiastic I am in bed with him after this.

Done for him

harlequin181 I masturbate a lot and he feels that he is neglected as a result, which is definitely true

your guilt

harlequin181 He’s made it clear that if the belt goes on then only he has the keys.

Him deciding

harlequin181 I also enjoy the feeling of waiting, because I know that it won’t last too long and I’ll get some relief.

You liking when you know it is short

harlequin181 I am just intimidated by the idea

your worry

harlequin181 losing the control of knowing when I will get relief long term is probably the most stressful aspect.

your worry

harlequin181 Which means that by the time he gets home, I've taken care of it by myself.

your guilt

harlequin181 He wants to reduce the number of orgasms

what he wants

See what you write it's all what he wants and you worrying and feeling guilty. You'll wreck your marriage over his silly idea. The only thing you liked was short term - why don't you talk to him about lots of short term and maybe putting it on a day or two before he gets back from long trips.

harlequin181

Maximus I only meant that having the belt off during periods will probably be fine because I feel awful and masturbation isn’t on my mind.

I am just intimidated by the idea of basically 24/7 wear outside of that.

Maximus

harlequin181

well, if you already wore repeteady for a conitnued week, maybe you have to agree at least some mandatory releases for the month, maybe he likes the idea still have the control of when or time between, but at the end can't be too many time... or negotiate at least some considerations like mandatory shortening until release each time you provide oral or any other 'special practises', may help to balance all.. for me sound fair if I would be your husband should be my counteroffer to your fears, but I don't know your husband 🙂

Sin

harlequin181 I am just intimidated by the idea of basically 24/7 wear outside of that.

Don't do it. Sure it's nice to fantasise about, but if it leads to problems or anxiety elsewhere in your life then it's not worth it.

If your man agrees to wear a cage too (and you both lock the keys in a lockbox until a pre-determined time) then it could work... But if not then he should STFU with his unrealistic expectations.

harlequin181

Jonas Thanks! I can definitely see the positive aspects of belting since it has made my husband so happy when we do it short term. I also enjoy the feeling of waiting, because I know that it won’t last too long and I’ll get some relief. But with 24/7 belting, losing the control of knowing when I will get relief long term is probably the most stressful aspect. Maybe I should see if we can for example agree on a number of orgasms per month for me etc

James

harlequin181 Many girls and women here do have this scenario.

Renita

harlequin181 losing the control of knowing when I will get relief long term

"Never" isn't an option for you?

Jonas

harlequin181 I guess we have to lose a bit of control, because, when we have personal freedom...we just can't wait.

How about a 6 week trial period to see if it works for you guys?

harlequin181

Laura Yes it does. I have tried to fight it, use a vibrator, etc but no luck.

Laura

harlequin181 I have tried to fight it, use a vibrator, etc but no luck.

If your husband knows about it, it's clear why he wants you to wear it 24/7 😂

harlequin181

Joh I work from home and he is away long hours. So I suppose I may not have a sufficient amount of time with him for my needs. Which means that by the time he gets home, I've taken care of it by myself. That's the problem.

harlequin181

Renita Do you mean that I should not ever know? That it's better that he controls that entirely?

Renita

harlequin181 Do you mean that I should not ever know?

I meant if you never get relief because your belt is properly fitted.

Joh

harlequin181
Work on your self. It is only a mental problem 😉
You could wear it only when he is not at home. Problem solved. If he at home you take it in your hand that you both get what you want.