I looked for a thread on this but didn't find one. If there is one, point me toward it. I am particularly interested in people's attitudes concerning forced sex, e.g. rape, incest, and how they relate to chastity and virginity. I would think that a victim could credibly still claim to have led a chaste lifestyle, the forced sex being of course not a part of that lifestyle. But, having been penetrated, one is no longer a virgin, at least under definitions one reads. So how would this be perceived by those who consider virginity in a person important, especially in a partner? Would most people give one a pass or not or somewhere in between?

    Avery Would most people give one a pass

    it's not giving a pass it's completely unrelated. Still a virgin in all cases.
    Victim only nothing else changes

        Not a virgin, of course.
        But this implies that sometimes virginity is useless.
        Last time I checked, not doing something and not knowing what doing something means, ignoring something, was not a big value.
        Of course there are people who committed fully to that who will never give a tought about it but virginity means ignorance: the merit is just to not doing and not knowing what something is.
        It is not important to be the first person to whom someone would have sex, but the last one.

        That said, there are a lot of way to lose virginity.
        "I had sex", "i did not tought that dildo was so enormous", "I got assaulted", "I fell on it", "damn I tought I could totally jump over that fenceknob", "my hymen is too tick, I must surgically open it".

        But still, if I am not mistaken, you are still able to say to someone "you are the first person who I desire to have sex with and who I will fulfill this wish. I have never done this before". If it is really so important.

        And I think this is the important (I do not know why) part, so yes. You still have to make love for your first time and yes, even not being virgin, you are still chaste and virtuous.

          LoonyMel
          You said that very beautifully and wrote what is really important.

            As @LoonyMel alluded to, It's who you love that's important. I guess it's 'a thing' amongst some groups in society, but I guarantee 99% of guys wouldn't be able to tell anyway... especially young, fumbling, inexperienced guys who are probably just as nervous as you!

            PS do wakeboarding incidents count? 🤭

              Avery

              I can only speak for myself on this issue and I confess that what others think is largely irrelevant.

              Virginity is just a word that has a semantic definition. Is it not a state of mind. It only has meaning beyond its semantic definition to those who care about it. I do not.

              Again, this is only my opinion. 🤣

                  Sin Yeh, they'd probably be relieved they got it in.

                  Sin PS do wakeboarding incidents count?

                  Or one bounce come-backers pitching softball.

                        Avery yikes! 😨
                        Spot the Australian and the American in this thread topic!

                            Sin Been following a number of your Olympians for years: Nina Kennedy, Jessica Hull, Brooke Stratton, Linden Hall. Cool chicks.

                            • Sin replied to this.

                                Avery I'm embarrassed to say I had to look them up! Are you into athletics?

                                I'm really looking forward to the Paralympics this year. I really like Vanessa Low. (We stole her from Germany because she's awesome). I hate to use the word inspo, especially as it relates to disability, but she inspires me simply because she has a really cool mindset. I can see why she's a champion, her head game is strong. 🙏

                                    Sin do wakeboarding incidents count?

                                    Doesn't matter, it counts.

                                    Avery Or one bounce come-backers pitching softball.

                                    Still counts.

                                    ... And do not worry. Ask a friend who work n an hospital, expecially in first aid.

                                    Your stories or hypothesis won't be the strangest way they heard. This week.

                                        Avery But, having been penetrated, one is no longer a virgin, at least under definitions one reads. So how would this be perceived by those who consider virginity in a person important, especially in a partner?

                                        My parents insists on it. No penetration and intact hymen

                                            Sin Yes, I run.

                                            I had to look up Vanessa Low, I'm afraid. Paralympics are coming right up. Six or so hours a night of TV coverage here over two weeks or so, much of it in prime time.

                                            • Sin likes this.

                                              Laura

                                              Laura My parents insists on it. No penetration and intact hymen

                                              I see, I wonder whether these attitudes are based on religion or culture or what. I've encountered people from two universities here in the US, Liberty and BYU, where such attitudes are common, based on religious beliefs.

                                                    Avery

                                                    Buff, we talked about the point some time ago...
                                                    In my opinion I can not say you that hymen does not have importance for me, because I would be lying you, and It is not just.
                                                    But, I can tell you that its importance is relatively minor: for me is much more important, for example , that I have never succumbed to the desire for an orgasm that my hymen.
                                                    My sister, for example, technically is a virgin, but not in my eyes, she walked paths that a miss should not walk.
                                                    For me the fact that a pure girl could lose her hymen is very sad, because for sure she would like give it to her husband or partner, and it is very sad to take away that illusion, but it does not affect to her purity.

                                                        Laura My parents insists on it. No penetration and intact hymen

                                                        Haven't you ever been on a waterslide?! 😖
                                                        Water skiing? Horse riding? I guess I was a bit of a tomboy growing up, I would try to keep up with my older brothers and my god I think I lost mine in a million different ways. I don't even remember having one tbh.

                                                        Ines I have never succumbed to the desire for an orgasm

                                                        Woah! Just woah!! You and I are very different people. 😁 Do you walk around with twitchy eyes?