Belt fitting

James

Jen it’s going to keep coming in waves….but I think the mind / body thing is that you know asking is an option.

You could always buy a time safe: https://www.thekitchensafe.com/

Resets every ten days, they can do it automatically, and so you know you can’t ask?

If X is not an option, and your mind and body knows it, that becomes easier to accept.

Jonas

James

You could always buy a time safe: https://www.thekitchensafe.com/

A really good suggestion - and a way to maintain some degree of control of "being out of control", if that makes sense.

If X is not an option, and your mind and body knows it, that becomes easier to accept.

This is definitely true imo. The better the security the easier chastity is to live with.

Jen

James it doesn't look scary at least.

Angelina it's still the same - Mum and Dad have a key so I ask to get unlocked then I put it back on whenever I like. I'm not trying to wear 24x7 like I'm not gonna wear it to school but I am sometimes wearing it out.
My reason is to stay chaste now - like until I'm with my partner

Jonas

Jen Posting makes it worse

The frustration? Yeah, I mean, it's the opposite of distracting yourself which is what people universally advise. However, posting does provide somewhere for the pent up energy to go, and it's good to know that you are not alone with this.

Angelina

Jonas Exactly. I think users should always try to imagine themselves in the keyholder role.

reminds me of the chastity experiment with my girlfriend. I think it really brought me something to put myself in the role of the keyholder, even if I almost burst because of my dual role 😂

@Jen

Since I wasn't in the forum for a while, I tried to sort everything you wrote, but somehow I don't quite understand it. So far you have worn the belt for your driving lessons, wasn't that the deal? What exactly are you thinking about, what do you want to achieve with the belt? if you want to wear the belt without breaks hand in the keys, if you want to wear the belt with breaks hand in the keys and say when you want them again, but you have to be clear about what you want and when you have a goal you are not allowed to have the keys during this time. I hope you understand my slight confusion 😂

Angelina

Jen My reason is to stay chaste now - like until I'm with my partner

the goal sounds very nice, but would be more worthwhile if there is someone who could become your partner and you would do it for them.

carg In some ways it seems like it would be easier for you if the decision to wear or not wear would be taken away from you, but since your mother has her own agenda, she would not be a suitable keyholder. (Well, of course she does hold the key, but you are still in control, mostly.)

it would be easier if @Jen had a keyholder with no vested interests who was 100% supportive of @Jen's interests. but currently there seems to be no one suitable.

Jen

In just writing this now venting I guess might delete but got unlocked and was just going to have a quick shower but I've ever up with my head in my hands leaning on the wall and the shower over me and I'm just in my own little world and my thoughts are going around and around and you say just take one day at a time but it's not one day it's my life and I can feel that feeling and like I know I can make it go away but I felt crap after last time and I'm thinking about my body and I know exactly where the belt sits I can feel it missing and I'm thinking about becoming dependant on it and it excites me but I'm resisting the idea of it but also just thinking about it being there thinking if needing it and it comforting me and yeah I eventually get out and quickly dry and put it back on and the click is just a massive what am I doing but also like a whole lot of stress is just gone. So yeah I'm on my bed writing this and still thinking about needing the belt is driving me crazy but also it's good - like my promise it feels real like properly now - like there's all this chaos in my head because of it but that let's me know it's real - like if it wasn't real it wouldn't matter and so that's kind of calming like all the other stuff it's going to happen I don't need to stop it or worry about it.

carg

Jen

Yes, that is proper venting 😉
Even if it is not always that easy to read, I enjoy reading such posts, since it echoes the state of your mind so clearly, and I find it interesting to see how wearing or not wearing a belt can affect people.
Of course it was a big decision, and you'll need some time to adjust, but it sounds like you have all the pro and con arguments clear, so now it is working through the hard moments, and I'm sure it will become more stable after a while.

In some ways it seems like it would be easier for you if the decision to wear or not wear would be taken away from you, but since your mother has her own agenda, she would not be a suitable keyholder. (Well, of course she does hold the key, but you are still in control, mostly.)

Jen

carg In some ways it seems like it would be easier for you if the decision to wear or not wear would be taken away from you

That just seems so wrong - like actually being stuck when I want out - no that's not OK. It's important but not the most important no I've made them understand and made sure I don't agree to anything where I can't actually quit

Jonas

Jen being stuck when I want out

This has always been my own personal goal: A belt secure enough to overrule my will when necessary to enforce chastity. Otherwise it feels like a fetish or a game to me.

carg

Jen That just seems so wrong - like actually being stuck when I want out - no that's not OK.

Yes, I understand. That's why I wrote 'in some ways': being stuck is for you definitely one of the 'other ways' ;-)
What I meant was that a lot of your doubt comes from having the choice. No choice = no decision to make = no doubt which decision to make. But I agree that on the whole that would not be the right way for you, and especially not with your parents as keyholders. This was more of a thought experiment than an actual suggestion.

youdontknowme

Jen That just seems so wrong - like actually being stuck when I want out - no that's not OK.

The idea is that a good keyholder would help you sort your desires into plans and urges. Let you out when you need out, but when you want out, they would make sure that you truly want to stop chastity, and it is not just your whims or arousal speaking - doing things like attaching consequences to the release, making you think it over etc..

Jen

Jonas A belt secure enough to overrule my will when necessary to enforce chastity.

Of course - i don't want it to be a waste of time

carg What I meant was that a lot of your doubt comes from having the choice. No choice = no decision to make = no doubt which decision to make.

Having the choice taken away is fantasy or I hope it is I worry about some - but for me it's impossible - someone will find out unless I just do nothing. It has to be choice and will and the belt.

Jonas

Jen Of course - i don't want it to be a waste of time

Having the choice taken away is wrong, of course, however people should be able to choose to give away the choice if they want. And that's what I wanted, because yeah, otherwise it is a game, a fetish, or a waste of time, and an uncomfortable waste of time at that!

James

Jen Having the choice taken away is fantasy or I hope it is I worry about some - but for me it's impossible - someone will find out unless I just do nothing. It has to be choice and will and the belt.

Well, that is why I suggested that time lock box thing. Only unlocks when time is up, and that is that.

Raziel

The choice should still be up to Jen, she should decide if she needs a break. What she does on her break is how she'll prepare to return to wearing the belt. This should be entirely up to her, whether its a need or want, that choice is still hers.

Angelina

Raziel The choice should still be up to Jen, she should decide if she needs a break.

i agree with you, from a purely emotional point of view. only i am not really sure whether a wearer can really judge every time whether he/she really needs a break or is driven to it by sexual arousal.

youdontknowme

Raziel That is the distinction between explaining why it might be useful to give the choice away and forcefully taking the choice away.

Jen

youdontknowme
&

Angelina i am not really sure whether a wearer can really judge every time whether he/she really needs a break or is driven to it by sexual arousal.

I can follow what is important to me, these are all important - going to the beach, not hurting myself, staying chaste. I'm controlling me and the belt helps, not someone else controlling me.

Angelina

Jen I'm controlling me and the belt helps, not someone else controlling me.

i just don't see how one works without the other. sexual arousal can be an extremely intense feeling and when you can no longer think rationally, you quickly lose sight of your goal of chastity. that's what the keyholder is for, he doesn't control you but your goal.

Joh

Jen I'm controlling me and the belt helps, not someone else controlling me.

Do I understand you correctly? You are the best person to decide what is right for you at any given time. You just keep having your circling thoughts about how you should go on now. I.e. coming to the right decision.
I think it's normal to question your decision every now and then and see if it's still the right one. I think with time you will become more confident and the circling thoughts will become less and shorter. That is my experience anyway.

I think you are doing great.

Jen

Angelina i just don't see how one works without the other. sexual arousal can be an extremely intense feeling and when you can no longer think rationally, you quickly lose sight of your goal of chastity.

Yeah I get crazy but not all the time. I still have to ask them - like when I'm going out of my mind I don't want to go beg my parents like just no I have to wait. Just when I'm not wearing it - just gotta avoid any thoughts!!! But it's getting easier I'm thinking no break at all today I've only been having very short breaks and all ok and not going out cause covid

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