Belt fitting

Jen

carg In some ways it seems like it would be easier for you if the decision to wear or not wear would be taken away from you

That just seems so wrong - like actually being stuck when I want out - no that's not OK. It's important but not the most important no I've made them understand and made sure I don't agree to anything where I can't actually quit

Jonas

Jen being stuck when I want out

This has always been my own personal goal: A belt secure enough to overrule my will when necessary to enforce chastity. Otherwise it feels like a fetish or a game to me.

carg

Jen That just seems so wrong - like actually being stuck when I want out - no that's not OK.

Yes, I understand. That's why I wrote 'in some ways': being stuck is for you definitely one of the 'other ways' ;-)
What I meant was that a lot of your doubt comes from having the choice. No choice = no decision to make = no doubt which decision to make. But I agree that on the whole that would not be the right way for you, and especially not with your parents as keyholders. This was more of a thought experiment than an actual suggestion.

youdontknowme

Jen That just seems so wrong - like actually being stuck when I want out - no that's not OK.

The idea is that a good keyholder would help you sort your desires into plans and urges. Let you out when you need out, but when you want out, they would make sure that you truly want to stop chastity, and it is not just your whims or arousal speaking - doing things like attaching consequences to the release, making you think it over etc..

Jen

Jonas A belt secure enough to overrule my will when necessary to enforce chastity.

Of course - i don't want it to be a waste of time

carg What I meant was that a lot of your doubt comes from having the choice. No choice = no decision to make = no doubt which decision to make.

Having the choice taken away is fantasy or I hope it is I worry about some - but for me it's impossible - someone will find out unless I just do nothing. It has to be choice and will and the belt.

Jonas

Jen Of course - i don't want it to be a waste of time

Having the choice taken away is wrong, of course, however people should be able to choose to give away the choice if they want. And that's what I wanted, because yeah, otherwise it is a game, a fetish, or a waste of time, and an uncomfortable waste of time at that!

James

Jen Having the choice taken away is fantasy or I hope it is I worry about some - but for me it's impossible - someone will find out unless I just do nothing. It has to be choice and will and the belt.

Well, that is why I suggested that time lock box thing. Only unlocks when time is up, and that is that.

Raziel

The choice should still be up to Jen, she should decide if she needs a break. What she does on her break is how she'll prepare to return to wearing the belt. This should be entirely up to her, whether its a need or want, that choice is still hers.

Angelina

Raziel The choice should still be up to Jen, she should decide if she needs a break.

i agree with you, from a purely emotional point of view. only i am not really sure whether a wearer can really judge every time whether he/she really needs a break or is driven to it by sexual arousal.

youdontknowme

Raziel That is the distinction between explaining why it might be useful to give the choice away and forcefully taking the choice away.

Jen

youdontknowme
&

Angelina i am not really sure whether a wearer can really judge every time whether he/she really needs a break or is driven to it by sexual arousal.

I can follow what is important to me, these are all important - going to the beach, not hurting myself, staying chaste. I'm controlling me and the belt helps, not someone else controlling me.

Angelina

Jen I'm controlling me and the belt helps, not someone else controlling me.

i just don't see how one works without the other. sexual arousal can be an extremely intense feeling and when you can no longer think rationally, you quickly lose sight of your goal of chastity. that's what the keyholder is for, he doesn't control you but your goal.

Joh

Jen I'm controlling me and the belt helps, not someone else controlling me.

Do I understand you correctly? You are the best person to decide what is right for you at any given time. You just keep having your circling thoughts about how you should go on now. I.e. coming to the right decision.
I think it's normal to question your decision every now and then and see if it's still the right one. I think with time you will become more confident and the circling thoughts will become less and shorter. That is my experience anyway.

I think you are doing great.

Jen

Angelina i just don't see how one works without the other. sexual arousal can be an extremely intense feeling and when you can no longer think rationally, you quickly lose sight of your goal of chastity.

Yeah I get crazy but not all the time. I still have to ask them - like when I'm going out of my mind I don't want to go beg my parents like just no I have to wait. Just when I'm not wearing it - just gotta avoid any thoughts!!! But it's getting easier I'm thinking no break at all today I've only been having very short breaks and all ok and not going out cause covid

Angelina

Jen just gotta avoid any thoughts!!!

i don't think that will work. i think you have to be clear about what exactly you want and then you can talk to your parents. if they accept your rules and you are willing to give up control for a short time for your big goal, i think you are on the right track 🙂

Jen

I've just woken up with my whole body just like I feel it in my muscles like abs and pelvice and stomach and everything - like it might cramp like doesnt hurt and not worried it will cramp or anything but like there's just a feeling all the muscles are on edge ready to squeeze and i cant control it like i can tighten them and relax them but relax isn't like just forget about it it's like I have to make the mescles relax slowly and then it all is just feeling like it wants to tighten again. And writing about it and tightening my muscles is just making it more intense.

carg

Jen I'm sorry you feel like that. Do you think it is related to the belt? Like because you feel tense about it?
Hope it is over by now. Otherwise I can only think of things like a hot bath or a run to lessen the tension.

Jonas

Jen And writing about it and tightening my muscles is just making it more intense.

Hope you feel better by now Jen. I would see if distracting myself helps.

Angelina

Jen

i'm sorry you had to endure that, but i'm not sure how it relates to the belt. if i understand correctly, it sounds more like a calcium deficiency, which is what magnesium tablets are for.

Jen

carg

Jonas
I'm ok lol no I was mostly surprised or fascinated really - it's just it was like the feelings could have just washed me away like it was bizarre I've never felt anything like that - but thinking about it - it was like I'm thinking about what's happening in my body not just lost in it.

Jonas

Jen Maybe it was just a bit of normal sleep paralysis?

Jen

Angelina

Jonas

Hi sorry I didn't know it was so hard to understand me I don't mean to be difficult 🥺
I was just writing what the frustration was doing to me.

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