Laura If I was his fiancee, I would break up. I could even appreciate if he asked me to wear a chastity belt for him. But he asked her parents to do it, shamed her and demonstrates his mistrust
Had I known, she was acting against one of her fathers rules, I would have talked her into confessing to him herself. She is still under his discipline and he is the one she has to come clean about it, not me. She however hid that fact from me, by insinuating that her family was ok with it and by generally overplaying how "western" her family is in regards to women. That manipulation of her, which I can only assume was an attempt to secure privileges in the future, of course left me at a disadvantage when talking to her father, but I was never anything but completely honest and fair. She however lied not only to me, but also to her father. So the main reason for her still being disciplined , was not that she broke the rules, but that she hid it and lied about it. I don't really see how I am at fault here. I talked to her about this topic for a long time, and explained that her keeping things from her man (her father at the moment), can not be tolerated. If anything she shamed herself and her father and with what happened mistrust was more than justified.
I told her don't even blame her for anything and that no such incident could ever change my love for her, which is my honest truth. I know some people here will probably disagree on this, but I do believe that any girl, even the best and most fair one, will, given the chance, test the boundaries set on her. It's her keepers responsibility to keep her in check, and if she acts up, you only have him to blame. So the blame is on her father and he knows that, that is why his apology is the one I care the most about, not hers.
We made up not long after the incident and she assured me that she is still in love with me and that she is still very commited to our future relationship. Even though I told her, that because I feel manipulated by her, her future rules will be revisited and will probably more adhere to the rules in our family than the ones she made up for hers. She will also no longer be excempted from our rules when visiting our family. She was more or less excempted so far and treated more as a guest. From now on she will be treated as a member. I felt she actually she felt really glad. It was a fresh start for her with no more dormant guilt and the last part is a pretty big step forward and she will be spending a lot more time with my sisters and mother, which she is looking forward to.
