Become a belted wife

Ines

Jen I think male and female are equal. So it is not fair for the boys to decide a disagreement just because they are stronger than us.

I disagree, and I hope to be able to explain myself.
Firstly I think we are not equal at all, I think that both have same value and both are equally intelligent but every sex have some skills that complement to the other sex, for that, in general, a sex likes the other and search in the partner capabilities that lack in him/herself.
About the boys deciding disagreement, I have to agree, they do not have to do because they are stronger but (and I think that next point is the key), a lot of times (and think in your friends) we the girls like that a boy takes decision quickly. A lot of times we let them take decisions because we do not like to have to take some decisions.
I am not hypocrite and I have to recognize that a resolute man is very sexy for me.

gwen

Ines I think we are not equal at all

You argue that the genders are different, and therefore unequal. Why does being different make genders unequal? Can't the sum of their value be equal, even if they make it in a different way?

Jen

@Ines That needed a few reads. I started with what? 🙉 But I get what you're saying - same value but different strengths. Isn't that just people though? Other than physical strength, the rest is just different personalities?

Ines a lot of times (and think in your friends) we the girls like that a boy takes decision quickly.

Yes that happens, and the boys likes a girl that looks hot. But that's just dating not relationships. 😑
It could be "often one person likes a person that takes decisions quickly."

Vanessa

Sara2001 A safe word is needed for BDSM play and for people who don't know eachother

I would add for the start of such relationship,until we're sure it works well,as intended.

Sara2001 We can talk about everything and we talk about everything and if I tell him that spankings feel wrong for me, he will listen and he will change things. But he has the final saying, except of the two points I talked about. But he knows this, too. So he will of course do something. Having a lot of power comes with a lot of responsibility.

So,if you agree,you can change greatly,or cancel some parts of it,with keeping the man-led relationship?

Sara2001 I like the maintenance session, but honestly I wouldn't need my behind spanked every week in combination with corner time.

What do you like in it,so?

Angelina which makes me happy for your brother, but as I have often said, I find it very unfair.

Similar feeling about it for me...

Angelina an extreme strain on the relationship

Especially as the start,when they both learn how to manage it.

Ines I am not hypocrite and I have to recognize that a resolute man is very sexy for me.

It can be,but I like to have my saying,generally.And I can fight for my point of view,if I think I'm right!😉

Saintprudence There’s no logical reason a belted woman’s twin brother should be free, except for some concept of male superiority.

I don't think my parents think males are superior,but they think the rules should be different.Especially,in my case;about sexuality and curfew.Probably based on the rules they had;it seems these differences are not uncommon.

gwen I love sharing knowledge.

And it is good!🙂

Jen Isn't that just people though? Other than physical strength, the rest is just different personalities?

At least,it makes sense.

Jen But that's just dating not relationships.

Dating can easily lead to relationship!😉

Saintprudence to accept the belt for one weekend a month.

Very reasonable.

Saintprudence by. I think it would be good for her to understand the denial I endure

I agree it could be good for you.

Saintprudence She’s worn my old one before

For how long?

Ines different brains.

Are you sure?

Ines And for example my sister had same environment and think different and it has to be respected.

Your unbelted sister don't think the same than you about men deciding?Do you think it is somehow related?

Ines the belt is an item for them

A possibility,not a general rule!😉

Sara2001 I always felt cared and protected

Even if belted and disciplined by your parents?I thought it would more easily apply with your boyfriend.Especially as you were a reluctant wearer.

Ines then I want (and I demand) to have voice and vote.

And is it the case?

Saintprudence

gwen this is one of those cases where I worry that the belted lifestyle is causing people to think of themselves as “lesser” because they’re women. (There’s no logical reason a belted woman’s twin brother should be free, except for some concept of male superiority.) I used to be male, and trust me when I say that didn’t make me any wiser or smarter! Quite the opposite, in my experience. Macho culture men that they’re right and women that they should defer to them.

gwen

Sorry Sara! I sincerely didn't mean to cause offense. Your comment made me wonder about the relevant history. I took a peek into the topic and shared the most useful starting point I discovered with @Vanessa because she showed interest. I love sharing knowledge.

Sara2001 Does any of these researches differ between abuse and consensual discipline?

I only know of a handful of psychology studies on consensual impact, and none that differentiate between non-sexual consensual impact (e.g. discipline) and sexual (e.g. spanking before sexy times). Much of it has bias in that it assumes desiring impact is a mental health disorder.

As for nonconsensual impact, there is a great deal of study across many subjects and from many perspectives. I peeked into it, but didn't even scratch the surface. From my superficial reading, it seems there is general consensus that male dominance established itself in many places around the dawn of civilization. The world was also much more violent in the past, so it seems likely that disempowered people suffered a great deal of violence.

As for how it impacted people in the distant past? I have no idea, and have yet to find details about that. If I find anything interesting, I will share. I assume, though, that humans are roughly unchanged, and violence does cause long term harm on modern humans, therefore our ancestors who were victims of violence probably also suffered long term harm.

Joh

Sara2001 I haven't said that it had no effect, I didn't said it's harmless, I didn't say it can't cause harm.

I re-read your posting carefully and I must apologise for my last entry. I only considered one part instead of all together.
My sincere apologies.

Sara2001 I expect him to be careful if he doesn't know how to deal with a situation and talk to me. If he does this, it's not that difficult.

This sound reasonable and fair.

gwen If I find anything interesting, I will share

Could you share your sources if you find something.

Ines If a girl likes a bit the feeling of being a precious jewell well protected in a chest, then the belt is an item for them, if the girl is independent, I think it is your case, then it is better even do not try it.

Illustrative description and I agree.

Ines

Jen - same value but different strengths.

Correct, and different brains.

Jen t could be "often one person likes a person that takes decisions quickly."

In general, obviously there are exceptions, girls like boys decisive, because we need more time to take decisions and we tend to be more lazy to take these decisions.
I can see in my circle that if we have boys that are good organizing and taking decisions in general we prefer let them do it and we do another things.
There are girls very bossy too, but it is not usual.

Joh

Sara2001 Of course I mean this. Like it is written here. I don't support it. That doesn't mean that I fight against it as hard as I can, but I think it shouldn't happen.

OK. I see your dilemma.

Sara2001 I haven't said that it had no effect, I didn't said it's harmless, I didn't say it can't cause harm.

Sorry, this is not what you wrote.

Sara2001 I don't support the physical discipline of minors or in parents to kids relations. This shouldn't happen, but also I think it was the norm for thousands and thousands of years and still is in most parts of the world. So even if I think it is wrong, I don't think that it normally causes massive psychological damage if it is done careful and transparent. I

This sounds like in general it is no problem but in some cases. But I see it in the opposite way. Most of the time it is not done in the way you describe it and it cause psychological damage with long time effect.

Sara2001

Joh Sorry, this is not what you wrote.

Of course this is what I wrote. I have talked about massive psychological damage, not about any effect in general.

Joh This sounds like in general it is no problem but in some cases.

This is what you maybe here, but this is not what I have written. Again, I talked about massive psychological damage, not about any effect. I explicitly said that it need to be done in a certain way to not be to harmful, I never said that this is the case most of the times.

Joh Most of the time it is not done in the way you describe

In this cases it is abuse as I clearly said. You can read what I wrote again and then you will see that.

Saintprudence

On the belted-wife front, I’m trying to figure out how to coax my wife to accept the belt for one weekend a month. Nothing heavy, just a little while. I liked her offer of occasional solidarity when I considered the belt as a hobby. I think it would be good for her to understand the denial I endure, and honestly, the more I think about the morality of self-touch, the more I believe it would be good for her to take an occasional time-out! She’s worn my old one before (an adjustable Chinese model), so we know it fits and is reasonably secure. It’s not good for long-term wear but three days should be fine.

And honestly, sometimes in bed I watch her sleep (because I have insomnia) and wonder what it would be like to see her there sleeping as I do, in a belt and with a pillow between her knees. Maybe I’m just jealous she can touch herself, and I can’t even without the belt because of the guilt. I don’t know.

The hard part is that I have nothing to bargain with. She leads the household and I do what she wants already, so I can’t offer much to her as a bribe (or blackmail, hahaha!) it’s all up to my charming and convincing nature 🙂. Maybe when she sees this, she’ll know I do mean it. I’m mostly writing this just to make it real to me. Or maybe I’ll come up with an idea that works!

Jen

Saintprudence wow um PW seemed quite against it in her posts maybe don't get your hopes up.

Ines you have thoughts a lot like my mum I think. I assume your dad also supports you being raised this way?
My dad mustn't have agreed.

GoodyProctor

Saintprudence One weekend a month in the belt? Interesting idea. I'll give it some thought tonight while you spend an extended amount of time kneeling in the corner that you will not enjoy. Also you're banned from talking to my mother for a week. That's probably a worse punishment for you anyway. I might put you in the corner while I tell my mother what I think of this idea.

Ines

Jen you have thoughts a lot like my mum I think. I assume your dad also supports you being raised this way?
My dad mustn't have agreed.

I think that is a generalization not only your mother thought.
As generalization there are a lot of nuances and there are a lot of girls that do not agree and they are not this way.
It is not about the way in that I was arised, in general, at least here, girls like boys that are "strong" for that, for example, I do not like the concept of a boy wearing a chastity belt because, it is a reality, wear it makes wearer dependant, and if for me for example I like feel me protected and the key holder giving me her attention full day, I do not like the image of a dependant boy.

And for example my sister had same environment and think different and it has to be respected. If a girl likes a bit the feeling of being a precious jewell well protected in a chest, then the belt is an item for them, if the girl is independent, I think it is your case, then it is better even do not try it.

GoodyProctor

Jen wow um PW seemed quite against it in her posts maybe don't get your hopes up.

You sure called that one.

Megan

Sara2001 In this cases it is abuse as I clearly said. You can read what I wrote again and then you will see that.

We need to support women or young people we are worried about. I don't know if Sara is abused or not but if she were abused the last thing she needs is to be abused and picked on a second time by her friends online.

Jen

Ines you should be a psychologist you make me think a lot.
Yeah, Dad is the boss. Nothing formal or strict but if they are disagreeing then what Dad decides is how it will be. I never thought about what that meant before - it was just kind of a known thing - but if Mum really cares about stuff and Dad won't agree then Mum won't get what she wants. Yikes.

When I said Mum thinks similar I wasn't thinking of this topic but actually your thoughts and definition of virginity and even behaviour after marriage. But I was only taught the less strict version of being a virgin and that would have been Dad's decision - and there goes the whole man making decisions thing again.

Sara2001

Megan We need to support women or young people we are worried about. I don't know if Sara is abused or not

I agree with you. But I don't feel abused. Not by my boyfriend and not by my father keeping me belted or under his discipline. I always felt cared and protected and not abused.

Ines

Jen

Jen and there goes the whole man making decisions thing again.

Well, I think I see it with an optic more selfish: in my opinion there are decisions that (for me) is easier let them to the man, but there are a lot of decisions that I wish take or participate in the process, and then I want (and I demand) to have voice and vote.
As I said before, I like to have strong male references but one of their characteristics is to take care of girls and make us happy, if they can not do it... sorry, but I am not interested in that man!

Angelina

Sara2001 I expect him to be careful if he doesn't know how to deal with a situation and talk to me. If he does this, it's not that difficult. Anything else can be learned over time easily.

i hope so, as i have written many times before this point requires a high level of open communication to work and i really hope for your sake that it works 🙂

GoodyProctor

Vanessa Saintprudence to accept the belt for one weekend a month.

Very reasonable.

Saintprudence She’s worn my old one before

For how long?

About six hours. You and I define "reasonable" very differently!

Vanessa Saintprudence by. I think it would be good for her to understand the denial I endure

I agree it could be good for you.

I understand it well enough. She needs to be belted, I belt her and make sure we follow through. I'm a very good keyholder, in my opinion. No need to add a belt on me to the equation.

GoodyProctor

Vanessa I don't think my parents think males are superior,but they think the rules should be different.Especially,in my case;about sexuality and curfew.Probably based on the rules they had;it seems these differences are not uncommon.

Your parents would get along great with mine.

Sara2001

Vanessa would add for the start of such relationship,until we're sure it works well,as intended

Yes, for the start it is important.

Vanessa So,if you agree,you can change greatly,or cancel some parts of it,with keeping the man-led relationship?

He must decide, but he must decide in a way that fits me.

Vanessa What do you like in it,so?

The scheduled event to openly talk about anything and the feeling that I know he cares for me and the feeling that he is really into this lifestyle, even if this knowledge is paid with a sore behind.

Vanessa Even if belted and disciplined by your parents?I thought it would more easily apply with your boyfriend.Especially as you were a reluctant wearer.

It's much stronger when it's done by Daniel, but I never felt abused by father, even if I don't like it.

Ines

Vanessa It can be,but I like to have my saying,generally.And I can fight for my point of view,if I think I'm right!😉

It is obvious! I can be lazy, not a total idiot! 😂

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