I need your advice

Kris

Hi together 🙂

As you can read in the title, I need some advice. I'm writing with a girl on a nice dating website for a few days. She is really great and we talked a lot about everything. We even talked about our kinks and we are very compatible.
Now I'm thinking of telling her, that I'm locked into my belt, but I'm a bit scared of her reaction. What do you think? Should I tell her of the belt?

Saintprudence

Kris not yet. Wait until you know each other a little better. If you’re going to date her, this might best be discussed in person.

You should also ask your friend and keyholder what she thinks. She is a certain kind of authority figure over you, so you should respect her opinion and take it into account. In a real sense, it’s more “her” belt than yours, since she has control over it and you do not.

Angelina

Kris

i would say yes, but only in some time. you two should first meet in person and see if there can be a future together, if the trust is strong enough you should tell her. so currently no, but in the future yes

Kris Yes she know that, but didn't said if she likes it too. So its more a risk to tell her 🙂

just ask her without mentioning your own belt 🙂

Kris

Saintprudence You should also ask your friend and keyholder what she thinks. She is a certain kind of authority figure over you, so you should respect her opinion and take it into account. In a real sense, it’s more “her” belt than yours, since she has control over it and you do not.

Yes, I know. I told her anything. She knows every step I take. And she said, if it works with the girl, she will wait and see how the relationship grows and if she is good for me, she will get the keys. She said not how llng it will take and I will better not ask her.

Thanks for your words 🙂

Saintprudence

Kris that’s very good. And it is good that she is being responsible with the keys. Since you’re in the early days of a relationship (not even in person yet!), it’s wisest to remain locked until intentions are more well understood.

You say you’ve talked about interests; does the online girl know you’re interested in chastity? Has she expressed an opinion on it?

Kris

Saintprudence You say you’ve talked about interests; does the online girl know you’re interested in chastity? Has she expressed an opinion on it?

Yes she know that, but didn't said if she likes it too. So its more a risk to tell her 🙂

Kris

Saintprudence Since you’re in the early days of a relationship (not even in person yet!), it’s wisest to remain locked until intentions are more well understood.

Exactly that is written in the signed contract and she will keep me safe

Saintprudence

Kris you are fortunate to have a diligent key holder!

Kris

Saintprudence you are fortunate to have a diligent key holder!

I know 🙂 I love her and she know that. And its a better feeling than been belted by my mother 😃

Saintprudence

Kris I can only imagine!

Joh

I agree with @Saintprudence. It is too early to tell her. Meet her in person and see how you feel in real live. If you have a good feeling and you think now is the right time talk about it and your expectation.
It could be if you meet her the first time you impression is different than via mail or video.

HHelen

Don't tell until you meet IRL.

Kris

Thanks @Joh and @HHelen 🙂

Kris

Angelina just ask her without mentioning your own belt

Oh thats a nice idea, I will do that 🙂 Thanks Angelina 🙂

Michael

I agree with not telling her before you haven't met her in person and the idea of bringing up the topic without mentioning your situation is a good idea, too.
However, I would say you shouldn't wait too long before you tell her because when there is a connection or even a relationship evolving she might feel upset (rightfully so in my opinion) to find out that you have been hiding some
important information about you.
Additionally she might not like that fact that a keyholder is involved in your relationship (even if there is nothing sexual
between you and your keyholder) and that a keyholder interferes with you she would like to live out sexuality with you.
Have you thought about how you would handle that and or did you make clear rules with your keyholder for a situation
like that? Are you still fine with these rules then?

Kris

Michael did you make clear rules with your keyholder for a situation

We wrote rules down in the contract, yes.

Update: I told my keyholder the advice I got here in the forum and she said, she will see how it develops and she wants a trial to find out, if the girl takes it serious. But did not say what will happen, when its not the case

Kris

Michael Are you still fine with these rules then

Yes I am. I signed it and I have to obey these rules, even if I dont't like all of them. Maybe I will write more whats in the contract later

Michael

Kris I signed it and I have to obey these rules, even if I dont't like all of them.

Just to understand this correctly, I hope you did sign it willingly and when you signed it did like all the rules or could
accept that they were neccesary?
In general I think the whole topic is interesting because whoever has a keyholder might get to the point where he or
she wants to get engaged with another person. Then the question is how this conflict can be solved.
I hope you won't have to face the unpleasent situation to make a decision for or against one person.

Angelina

Kris Yes I am. I signed it and I have to obey these rules, even if I dont't like all of them. Maybe I will write more whats in the contract later

that makes it a bit more difficult if this relationship will be successful. i don't think she will accept it in the long run if someone restricts your and therefore also her sexuality.

Kris

Michael you did sign it willingly

Yes, I did!

Angelina Yes, but I have no other option 🙂

Michael accept that they were neccesary?

I don't have the key, so I have to accept the rules.

Michael decision for or against one person

No, she already said, that nothing will change, when I got engaged with a girl.