Single again chastity

Angelina

Christine And what's your suggestion? Let her fool around with her boyfriends?

that's not what i mean, i was talking about masturbation, not sex, there's a difference
if you want to prevent sex, there is no reason to prevent masturbation, but if you prevent both, it is the same as what your mother did to you.

Christine

Angelina that's not what i mean, i was talking about masturbation, not sex, there's a difference

Ofc, she needs the belt off for sex, not masturbation.

Angelina there is no reason to prevent masturbation

And I don't.

Greatcornbow Who keeps your mom's keys?

I do.

MissBlossom but during her breaks when you visit, she is able to be alone without the belt

Yes.

MissBlossom so she has opportunities to masturbate alone if she wants to?

It's not my business.

MissBlossom as long as it's not with one of her boyfriends?

Correct. That's the purpose of her belt.

MissBlossom Does she spend much time alone without the belt when you visit?

Most of the time. She wears the belt when I'm not around.

MissBlossom For example is it normal for her to be in her bedroom or the bathroom with the door closed for more than a couple minutes?

I unlock it when come and make sure it's locked when leave.

Greatcornbow

Christine Who keeps your mom's keys?

MissBlossom

Christine reading through your experiences, it's amazing how well you have handled everything that happened with your mom!

I think many people would have gone no contact after such unpleasant experiences, but you stayed in contact, realized she had been projecting her needs onto you, figured out how to meet her needs, and helped her to accept your help. I'm amazed that you were able to do all of that in such a charged situation!

I'm trying to figure out what you are saying about masturbation. Are you saying that you have never discussed it with her, but during her breaks when you visit, she is able to be alone without the belt, so she has opportunities to masturbate alone if she wants to?

And you don't care, and are fine with it, as long as it's not with one of her boyfriends?

Does she spend much time alone without the belt when you visit? For example is it normal for her to be in her bedroom or the bathroom with the door closed for more than a couple minutes?

MissBlossom

Christine
Ok, I mostly understand. Thank you.

You've obviously given this a lot of thought.

I just realized that I've been assuming your visits are just a few hours, but I'm not sure you actually said that.

When you visit are you there for just a few hours, or do you stay the night?

Greatcornbow

Christine

Christine I do.

I like that. Sort of role reversal. 😄

Angelina

Christine Ofc, she needs the belt off for sex, not masturbation.

Christine And I don't.

i'm not a fan of "walls of text" but you have the same talent as @Renita. 3 words are not enough for an answer that confuses. 😂
I'll try to ask the question again specifically: does your mother have breaks to masturbate, yes or no?

MissBlossom

@Angelina @curious you may be overthinking this with all this deep philosophical talk about values.

Christine I unlock it when come and make sure it's locked when leave.

Supervising showers or cleanings is work. If you don't care, you might not want to do all that extra work. It's much easier to just unlock when you arrive and lock when you leave.

Christine

MissBlossom or do you stay the night?

Sometimes.

Angelina 3 words are not enough for an answer that confuses.

I try to answer everybody.

Angelina does your mother have breaks to masturbate, yes or no?

No special breaks.

curious

Angelina I'll try to ask the question again specifically: does your mother have breaks to masturbate, yes or no?

I assume the answer you are looking for is:
Her mother is allowed to masturbate, because Christine just does not care wether she does or not.
She has already said the belt is only locked when she is not with her mother but she is not specifically monitoring her mother`s behaviour. So there will be plenty of opportunity for her mother to masturbate e. g. during the night oder alone in the bathroom or in her room.

MissBlossom

Christine
Thank you so much for sharing, and for answering so many questions.

The more I think about your situation, the more I wonder what your mother thinks of it.

Have the two of you ever discussed the way that she projected her needs onto you? Did she ever realize that's what she was doing? Or does she view her need for a belt as a totally separate issue from the fact that she wanted you to wear one?

Christine

MissBlossom Have the two of you ever discussed the way that she projected her needs onto you?

She was a single mom of me. Hence nothing to discuss.

MissBlossom Or does she view her need for a belt as a totally separate issue from the fact that she wanted you to wear one?

Right. She didn't think, that it could be applied to her now.

Angelina does your mother then have the opportunity to masturbate

Ofc.

Angelina it is strange how quickly the mother herself agreed to wear a belt.

Initially she didn't get my idea seriously when I took her measurement. Later I came with the belt and told her what I knew about her sexual activity. She couldn't deny it and had to agree for a belt.

MissBlossom I hope she gets some satisfaction in a moral or emotional sense from living her values.

Nothing about satisfaction or revenge.
We have very good relationship. She wears her belt coz she needs it, e.g. it's her choice, not mine.

curious All she is doing is restricting her ability to have random Sex, because she does not like her mother to show that kind of behaviour.

Right. And she knows why she has to wear a chastity belt.

Angelina

I guess you're right, but I'll give the question back to @Christine. is that the way it's managed, so she has breaks when you're with her and does your mother then have the opportunity to masturbate (I'm not talking about whether you like it or that's why she gets the breaks, just whether the opportunity exists)?

toad

it seems to me, that if masturbation is ok but intercourse is not. It would be far easier to have her pierced and locked shut. If you're looking for permanent and less work for yourself it seems like the way to go. You wouldn't need to put the belt on and off and hygene would no longer be your concern, plus mom gets the security she needs.

MissBlossom

toad
Wouldn't stop masturbation with a partner, which @Christine doesn't want happening.

Angelina

toad

as i understand it, the goal is not 24/7 locked, but simply to prevent random sex.

toad

mmm ok it was just a thought, guess i didn't understand the purpose. thank you

Greatcornbow

Angelina as i understand it, the goal is not 24/7 locked, but simply to prevent random sex.

I think so too. How Christine ensures this is surely up to her She's the KH

Ines

Greatcornbow How Christine ensures this is surely up to her She's the KH

Exactly.
At the end the belt has to make happier to us and to our keyholder, every path is valid if it fulfill that target.

Angelina

Ines

right, but i somehow don't think that the situation is really happy for @Christine's mother. she has rather become a victim of her own values.

MissBlossom

Angelina
It's hard to tell from what @Christine has said how happy her mom is overall, since the conversation here has just been about chastity and not the rest of her life.

I hope that her overall happiness has gone up. This might be from stopping behavior that made her feel shame but that she struggled to control. It might also be from spending time on other activities that bring her a deeper joy than the ones she gave up. Or maybe it meets some other need or has some other benefit.

It seems like she's got to be getting something out of it that supports a need or a want or a goal, or she would stop. @Christine has been very clear that there is no coercion and her mom can stop any time.

Jonas

Angelina she has rather become a victim of her own values.

True, but then she is free to change or to moderate her values in response to her new situation/experiences.

I think MissBlossom was correct to wonder if there was always a degree of projection going on here.

If so then things have worked out very well for @Christine and her mom: The person who really wanted it has ended up wearing the belt.

Angelina

MissBlossom @Christine has been very clear that there is no coercion and her mom can stop any time.

of course, but it is the case that her mother cannot end this without denying her own morality.

Jonas I think MissBlossom was correct to wonder if there was always a degree of projection going on here.

of course this could be true, i wonder how @Christine thinks about it. i also suspect that the mother may have acted out her own needs on the daughter, it is strange how quickly the mother herself agreed to wear a belt.

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