Advice for potential new Keyholders

Jonas

MissBlossom What if the harmful behavior is the excessive seeking of male approval and attention?

Then I guess the problem would lie in the unmoderated gratification of this desire.

In all cases the root problem, as far as I can see it, is the feedback loop created when you give yourself pleasure. This is okay up to the point of need, but beyond this, it risks becoming self-sustaining, consuming and unhealthy.

In the example you give, it'd be healthier for the individual to examine whether they really needed male approval so much and if not, to starve their desire for it back down. Seeking "relief" by pursuing the desire only increases it.

MissBlossom

Jonas In the example you give, it'd be healthier for the individual to examine whether they really needed male approval so much and if not, to starve their desire for it back down. Seeking "relief" by pursuing the desire only increases it.

Maybe.

Or maybe she just needs someone to teach her that you don't catch a fish by dumping all your bait in the water.

Ines

Sabina

Yes, but implications are global ones! Maybe cardiologist are happy because X medicine avoid Thrombi, but the neurosurgeons are holding their hands over their heads because this drug X facilitates intracranial hemorrhages.
But of course, that grandpa is dying in the neurosurgery room, not in the cardiology room, so the cardiologists will still be enthusiastic about drug X.

So it is not a medical issue, but I mean that masturbation is an issue that has plenty of faces, and we Have to see it with a global perspective.

Sabina

Ines You are 100% right about the drugs. However, as for masturbation, I would prefer that the doctor be guided in his assessment only by medical / biological aspects, and not by moral assessment ...

Joh

Ines I disagree. Each Person has it individual Background and it should examinat individuell Not global.

Ines

Sabina

Not only moral, it has very practical implications, it is the door for a lot of problems.

Sabina

Ines for a lot of problems

Can you point out which ones?

Angelina

Laura But it's less stressful to start with. Prevent sex only, and self-pleasure later on

if masturbation must be prevented at all. i think it would be easier for jane if the belt (if she decides to use it) is only used to prevent uncontrolled sex, i don't see it being a problem if jane masturbates

Jonas I'm surprised that other people here haven't suggested therapy

I don't know the girl and I'm not sure if it's an addiction or just bad behavior. if it's really an addiction, she should of course go to therapy, then the belt won't help

I still think the following questions are important

does Jane see that she has a problem?
would wearing a chastity belt help with the problem?
would jane do it voluntarily if she realized it would help her?

It depends on Jane's point of view and of course her mother shouldn't force her. I think Jane is at a point like @Sasha was a few years ago, asking what she can and wants to do now

Jonas

Angelina I think it would be easier for jane if the belt (if she decides to use it) is only used to prevent uncontrolled sex, i don't see it being a problem if jane masturbates

I think it would be easier on her ....because she'd not be dealing with the problem!

The real work is done when we are resisting our desires and urges and learning how to deal with the inevitable frustration. But this never happens when we're allowed to continue masturbating. We remain slaves to our own sex drives.

I still think the following questions are important

does Jane see that she has a problem?
would wearing a chastity belt help with the problem?
would jane do it voluntarily if she realized it would help her?

It depends on Jane's point of view and of course her mother shouldn't force her.

Agree, these questions are key, and force should be out of the question.

Joh

Jonas We remain slaves to our own sex drives.

Only If you are not able to enjoy it at the right time and be Not distracted the other time.
Our Sex Drive is Part of our self and you have to learn to live with it. Some have a low other a high one. And so is no solution which fits all.

Your solution solves one Problem but creat another Problem. Frustration which is hard to handle. Many propose to distract yourself e.g. Work or learning. But If you are able to distract yourself you are also able to do so If you can Not pleasure yourself at the wrong time.
Why can't time without belt not be a bonus you earn for good results?

Kaja

Jonas You are slave of yourweakness. Because you have to substitute your mind and self force by metal underwear...

Ines

Sabina

Yes, masturbation is a ladder towards even worse things, and further a waste of time and efforts.

MissBlossom

I've been following this thread, but it's taken me a while to form an opinion.

I think this whole conversation is an attempt to solve a woman's problem as if she were a man.

I think the problem is this.

Jenna Monica, is a single woman, divorced, who has 2 children, a 23 year old son who is no longer at home and an 18 year old daughter, who she was here to talk about.

Jane doesn't have a father providing protection, leadership, and approval in her life on a daily basis. She doesn't have two parents modeling what a healthy relationship looks like in a couple.

The symptom is excessive sexual activity, but for women that doesn't usually come from an excessive desire for sex.

If a man brings you flowers, he wants you to go to bed. If a woman goes to bed, she wants you to bring her flowers.

I think Jane doesn't understand what she wants or how to get it, but she knows she wants it from boys and boys want sex.

I feel like what she needs is a mentor, not a belt.

Ines

MissBlossom

Exactly, MissBlossom, in fact she has clear one thing: she does not want the belt.
In my opinion her behavior is erratic and disgusting, but if she does not want the belt, she does not want it.
No way.

youdontknowme

MissBlossom If a man brings you flowers, he wants you to go to bed. If a woman goes to bed, she wants you to bring her flowers.

I have once read an aphorism somewhere that went something like:

A nymphomaniac is a woman with the sex drive of a man.

Either way, that is just another argument why intercourse prevention does not necessarily require masturbation prevention to be effective. The belt would merely provide peace of mind that she is not exposed to the risks that come with careless sex, while being the minimum imposition on her life that achieves that goal. Obviously it is just a band-aid for the symptoms, not a solution for the underlying issues, which would have to be resolved independently of the belt via counselling or similar methods.

Jonas

MissBlossom I think Jane doesn't understand what she wants or how to get it

This is a really interesting idea and perspective. I think whether you're right depends on the lady's character and problem. Eg. Some people benefit from sympathy and analysis, others with behaviour challenge.

but she knows she wants it from boys and boys want sex.

I'm not sure about this as she's engaged in solo-sex too. This suggests that servicing sexual desire is at least a component of the issue. I'm also not sure about the gender division. If this forum demonstrates anything it's that many women are subject to the exact same sexual drive as men.
Women don't all want flowers, some are dead set on deflowering themselves. (No judgement intended.)

I feel like we what she needs is a mentor, not a belt.

This is what she's getting surely? This what @Jenna represented and @Susan was role-modelling as her peer. The belt is simply the expression of this mentoring... it's sending a clear message as to a way forward.

Kaja

MissBlossom 💗

Sabina

Ines masturbation is a ladder towards even worse things,

I would not demonize masturbation so much, although in rare cases it can be a problem for some people.

Ines and further a waste of time and efforts

Especially when wearing a chastity belt. 🤣

Jonas

Ines in fact she has clear one thing: she does not want the belt.

I didn't understand this from the reports. Perhaps @Susan can clarify. I thought the "no way she could do this" was her reaction to seeing a belt, but that no final decision had been made. I thought her other actions supported the fact that she's still considering it.

If she really has rejected the idea, then that's the end of it.

Ines

Joh

I am talking about global implications of that fact in each person.

Jonas

Joh Your solution solves one Problem but creat another Problem. Frustration which is hard to handle.

To be clear I am not saying that blocking sex and masturbation solves the problem.

I'm saying that facing your sexual frustration head on is what enables you to master your sex drive.

Opportunities for "relief" may seem kind, but it's temporary and digs you deeper into the problem.

youdontknowme

Jonas I'm not sure about this as she's engaged in solo-sex too. This suggests that servicing sexual desire is at least a component of the issue.

I feel like you are starting to rival John Harvey Kellogg when it comes to anti-masturbation activism. Do you have a brother who owns a cereal company, perchance?

MissBlossom

Jonas This is what she's getting surely? This what @Jenna represented and @Susan was role-modelling as her peer. The belt is simply the expression of this mentoring... it's sending a clear message as to a way forward.

I'm talking about mentorship in how to flirt, get a boyfriend, and be in a real relationship. How to actually get what she wants in life rather than flailing about aimlessly and messing everything up.

Jonas

youdontknowme anti-masturbation activism...

Once you break the masturbation habit, it's hard not to be more active and engaged in life!! 🤣

Joh

Jonas Opportunities for "relief" may seem kind, but it's temporary and digs you deeper into the problem.

Sorry, this is Not a fact. It May happend depended on the Person and it will to live with a compromise.

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