Advice for potential new Keyholders

Tjc

Renita The belt on her? 😃

Haha! It makes me not like that I am in a belt. 😀 I am not sure if it would be better or worse if we were both belted.

Renita

Tjc It makes me not like that I am in a belt

Me too. I prefer not to wear it being dressed like this.

Sasha

youdontknowme But did you ever want to have someone whether he wanted to or not?

I never forced myself on anyone, if that’s what you’re asking. But I was aggressive in the pursuit, which made their refusal very frustrating, but had to live with that.
But yeah, relationship status didn’t matter to me, getting paid for it or pushing pretty aggressively. So I think a lot would I agree with deserving it, along with the bands and bra.

youdontknowme

Sasha I never forced myself on anyone, if that’s what you’re asking. But I was aggressive in the pursuit,

Forced yourself, been tempted to force yourself, kept pursuing those who made it clear they were not interested, tried to get people drunk / drugged so they are more likely to say yes... Basically anything that disrespects the opposing party's right not to consent. I do not consider sluttiness inherently immoral, certainly not immoral enough to justify those drastic measures, but when you disrespect non-consent it would be kinda hypocritical to hide behind a principle that you had nothing but disdain for.

Sasha

youdontknowme Wasn’t to the point of altered mental states to gain compliance, so don’t worry there.
People used to describe me as pushy, looking back I’ve called it aggressive. But no meant no and wasn’t ever going beyond that.
Not that I was afforded the same courtesy but that’s a different story.

youdontknowme

Sasha People used to describe me as pushy, looking back I’ve called it aggressive

Well, I will leave the question whether that makes you deserve enforced chastity to you then. If you believe so, that is your choice. But if you always accepted that no means no, nobody else can tell you you deserved it.

Sasha Not that I was afforded the same courtesy but that’s a different story.

My condolences. Fuck those guys. Or better yet - don't. I wish that was not something you had to be concerned with, but... one more point for the belt, I guess.

Sasha

youdontknowme Thank you. It’s been a long road recovering from that and learning to live with the physical consequences.
But I’m learning and growing.
Hopefully the effort has made me a better person at least

youdontknowme

Sasha I would say to turn your back on the pursuit of carnal pleasure for the sake of it and being willing to go this far to prove it already shows how much of a better person you have become.

Ines

Renita

It depends on belt, in those occasions I am much more confident with my FS belt.

Renita

Ines I am much more confident with my FS belt.

Because it's smaller?

Greatcornbow

MissBlossom Maybe she should wear a belt and her keys could go in a lock box with two padlocks. You and Kate could each have a key for one of the locks.

Great way to have dual control with 2 KHs both have a veto.

Angelina

Ines But even in my case, I use it more often than when I did not have it.

of course, because if something is not there, it can't be used either 😂

youdontknowme Yeah, that is the idea, that either person is as much a victim as a perpetrator in that case. Under any sane legislation, those two statuses would be mutually exclusive when it comes to crimes against consent, but sane legislation is hard to come by when teens trading inappropriate photos have been given rapist status under similarly well-intentioned and poorly-implemented laws.

thank you for mentioning it, i also had to think of this absurdum.
to get back on topic, probably Jane can't take these kind of photos anymore either (at least not soon)

Ines

Angelina of course, because if something is not there, it can't be used either 😂

Right! (I was making my statement in that sense).

Ines

Renita

Yes, exactly. A wide belt as complement of dress and I do not care at all about wear the belt.

Renita

Ines It seems a good idea to wear a "light" belt for such occasions.

Susan

MissBlossom It's not my morality, it's AJ's. I would like to have sex and I know one day the time will come. She wants us to wait.

MissBlossom

Susan
I meant that sex is fun for AJ even though according to her own morality she should not be doing it.

And because of that, she would naturally come up with some excuse for taking issue with my points above.

I was agreeing with your statement that:

Susan I appreciate many of the things you are saying but she would take issue with many of them I know for sure.

Angelina

Susan She wants us to wait.

although it is still not really clear what Jenna defines as a long-term and stable relationship, you should clarify that.

Susan

MissBlossom Thank you. I misunderstood.

Susan

Angelina We go back and forth a lot on that Angelina. AJ would prefer to wait until I get married before giving me the keys. I am not sure I can wait that long.

Joh

Danielle-p
Opinions differ on whether it is the right thing to do if you are a mutual key holder. I think it is better if it is a third independent person, because there is no dependency. This way there is no danger of putting the other person under pressure by threatening not to let them out of the CB if you don't get something yourself.
Would you have someone who could take on this responsible task?

Danielle-p

Joh
No I dont know who i can give this responsoble task.

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