just for fun and interest, should i wear a belt after after the wedding?
curious I dont know how much do you know about BDSM (and consent at all). Im nor expert but your opinion is strictly against everything what I read about it. All people I know say that you have to start slowly, try what you like and dont like, every step with agreement and safe word. This is the difference between BDSM and abuse (the difference is not in how you mean it - you can want the best but you can make it in abusive way).
Kaja
This is not about how BDSM is done. Plenty of people have as many ideas about what is the right way to do it.
When you grow older and get more life experience, then you will come to realise that it does not matter what all those people think. Even if 99% agree on something it might still be wrong for you.
Angelina has the experience to live extended periods even with very strict belting and knows, she can handle it if need be.
Her wife however needs t9 find her own way of being a keyholder. Restricting her in this endesvour by setting all the rules, how could she ever find out what she enjoys?
She needs the space to try out things, maybe sometimes that means Angelina gets more orgasms as necessary, sometimes maybe she is too strict. But finding her way is a process that requires experimenting.
And as they love and trust each other, that should all that is necessary. If you are married and do not trust your partner to find a good balance (after some experimenting which can include deviating a bit to either side) that makes both of you happy, I would argue you have married the wrong person.
As much as I disagree with curious about his whole "if an opinion exists, it is equally valid" attitude, in this case I would like to defend him a bit. All he did was show alternatives, present a different side in the spectrum of options, maybe nudge her away a bit from her natural tendency towards inflexible, but clearly defined rules. "Trust her" and "give her the freedom to make decisions" does not imply completely waiving the need for consent or surrendering her rights as an individual. It just means not being afraid of her making unpredicted choices.
That said, Kaja, you are absolutely right to remind people of the importance of consent, and its nature as a specific choice that can be taken away as easily as it has been granted. Keeping this in mind is especially important for couples exploring unfamiliar territory, which is probably what Angelina and Camryn would be doing if they started allowing more discretion into a dynamic that they have previously approached with rather formal rules.
Damien Angelina, sometimes I feel you'll lock your belt back on to rescue this forum^
it would at least be a nice side effect 
youdontknowme Set a minimum that is well on the frustrated side (though still somewhat bearable), but give her the opportunity to grant you more if she wants to.
we are currently discussing something exactly like this, good idea 
youdontknowme Sorta wondering if at any time in the foreseeable future, a new belt might be in the cards for Camryn, though.
Spork As someone in a relationship where we both have belts, I highly recommend considering this. Lots of scope for fun.
that won't happen, for one thing camryn has no interest in wearing a belt and for another i don't think it's good for the dynamic. i think from the moment camryn wears a belt i couldn't wear one anymore, because from my point of view there has to be a clear division of roles between wearer and keyholder so that no blackmail (if you don't let me out, i won't let you out either) happens
Tjc "me time" while showering, whether it is permitted, limited, or forbidden all together.
so officially we have now agreed that my showers will be supervised, but that i can shower myself. of course we generally shower together a lot too 
please don't argue, the whole thing should be fun to discuss
my wife and i are currently discussing a lot about how detailed these rules should be. On the one hand, I want to give her the freedom she needs to be able to fulfil this ‘position of power’. She should have control and of course that's not possible if she has no flexibility to react to situations. I love her and trust her enough to be sure that she is acting in my best interests. But certain rules have to be clear, because it reassures my wife that there is consensus from me and she knows that everything she decides within these rules has been approved by me
Update:
I think by the end of the week there will be a provisional plan that gives a structure, then it will be a matter of the details and possible changes. We have agreed on a trial period, within the first 6 months each of us can quit, after that it is only possible with a ‘cancellation period’. There will also only be a safeword during these first 6 months that ends everything immediately, after that I trust that my wife will recognise when I have to leave ‘immediately’.
we are still discussing and planning a lot, because there is one thing i want to avoid at all costs. i don't want us to have to cancel because things weren't clear beforehand and there are arguments about it, that would just be naive
Angelina (if you don't let me out, i won't let you out either)
I mean, the idea would be that you are either both locked or both unlocked most of the time, going with your ideal that your sexuality should be focussed entirely on your partner. I just always thought of you as the more dominant of the couple, but ever since you tried the belt you seem to be settling into a more submissive role.
- Edited
Angelina that won't happen, for one thing camryn has no interest in wearing a belt and for another i don't think it's good for the dynamic. i think from the moment camryn wears a belt i couldn't wear one anymore, because from my point of view there has to be a clear division of roles between wearer and keyholder so that no blackmail (if you don't let me out, i won't let you out either) happens
It would be nice when Camryn would also be locked in a belt and that there is no excuse that you cannot be locked at the same time. She was belted before so it is not new to her. But you are afraid for the dynamic and you have a point there. So try to think creative.
One solution would be to give the key to someone else. A better solution might be the use of a time locked key safe. The duration to be locked may be set by throwing two or three dice and multiply the numbers. The result is the number of days in the belt. After that you cannot change the duration and the moment for unlock is out of your hands.
An even better solution could be a chaster.app (self)lock where rules can be set. You need a key safe with number lock for that with many numbers, 6 digits at least. Periodic cleaning breaks can be set as well. Once set everything goes automatic. You could say the third party is not a person but a computer is kh. You can start easy to try things out and go from there.
This should solve the possibility of blackmail. But you trust each other anyway so all should be well.
Angelina it is awesome that you are taking something that was unpleasant and turning it into something that is fun.
I think you are smart to set expectations, at the same time, I wouldn't restrict what your wife can do. For instance, if she wants your belt off, it should be off. After all, this is something you want, not something that she needs.
I also think you shouldn't be so either/or. If she wants to try on a chastity belt, that is fine, although I see no reason why you should encourage her to do so.
You seem to really like the D/S mindset, which is fine, but it isn't like wearing a chastity belt automatically makes you submissive.
Angelina There are several possibilities. My wife could always unlock me when we want to have sex, or I could only get a limited number of orgasms. If we decide on a limited number, we have to consider how many I need to continue to be happy and up to what point it is okay to remain sexually frustrated.
Start with one per month and see if it feels right for both of you.
Angelina these are the points we are currently discussing, including the issue of breaks for cleaning, so whether they will be monitored or whether I will be showered by my wife like in Locktober has not yet been decided
I think you may continue that your wife will shower you. It gives you more intimacy.
I think you're doing very well because you're sharing and discussing it intensively. Set rules and let your wife decide how things should be done within the framework of the rules. And also have a conversation for example once a week about how it was, whether it felt right or wrong and adjust or extend it. Outside of this conversation, I don't think it should be discussed. That's what the conversation is for.
Angelina She should have control and of course that's not possible if she has no flexibility to react to situations. I love her and trust her enough to be sure that she is acting in my best interests.
This is the key point in your relation ship. On that as a foundation you are able to build up what you want. 
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Angelina further ideas are of course always welcome
I just think you do not have to plan everything right now. If you agree on something for 6 months for now it is fine and you can see if this works for you but you do not have to plan the next and next to next step already now. If you feel comfortable with giving up more control, it is fine and if you already feel like it in 4 months, I am sure you can communicate that.
It seems your wife loves you and you can communicate so there is no need to be afraid. If something (even later if you do not really use a safeword anymore) goes totally wrong I am sure she will react accordingly to that and you can trust her.
Probably in the future things are going to be more strict than now but you just have to figure it out. As you mentioned you are worried about a system of how much freedom/pleasure you still get. Time will tell if both of you enjoy a system (x orgasms for her before you get one, an orgasm only after x days/weeks/months, orgasms only after earning x points for something, whatever) or if you just keave ip up entirely to her.
Because of your past you are probably more worried about your sexual frustration than you actually need to be. As I said as she loves you and you communicate well there should be nothing happening that really harms you. Yes, frustration is a part of chastity but I guess you have not experienced it enough to be willingly locked up in order to know that chastity can bring a lot of joy and become addictive when you are actually become focussed on oder almost obsessed by pleasing your keyholder which can be very satisfactionary for your brain. There will still be furstration but mostly it is bearable and not constantly there. However, if you still suffer to much from it as it happens too often or too extreme than again I would expect your wife to recognize it and handle the situation.
To make a long story short: just try different methods, discuss and just communicate and trust her.
youdontknowme I just always thought of you as the more dominant of the couple, but ever since you tried the belt you seem to be settling into a more submissive role.
yes, there seems to be a shift in the topic of sexuality. it's good for me to give up responsibility in one area and it's certainly beneficial for my wife too. you know, we want to have an equal marriage, but by nature i'm a bit more dominant in some areas, so this can be a good balance
thanks for your ideas, but i fundamentally reject technical/mechanical key holders. for me, it's precisely the attraction of my wife having the keys that can make me wear the belt again in the first place
Sara it is awesome that you are taking something that was unpleasant and turning it into something that is fun.
maybe that's an important point, i wear the belt for my wife and myself to get closure on what my father did, even though it might sound a bit crazy, but i have the hope to process the old experiences by going new ways with the belt
Joh Set rules and let your wife decide how things should be done within the framework of the rules.
that's exactly what we want, i've been talking to my wife about it for the last few days and we've come to the conclusion that the rules should only be rough guidelines if possible and that only absolute ‘red flags’ need to be adhered to. I do something completely or not at all and if I want to give control over my sexuality to my wife, she must have every opportunity to react flexibly (more on this in the update)
Michael I just think you do not have to plan everything right now.
That's true, I really have to break myself of that habit. I'm used to planning everything down to the last detail, that's how I knew it back then with the rules with my father, but it's different here. I'm doing it voluntarily and she should have control because I want it that way. The 6-month "probationary period" will remain, however, because it can of course be the case that expectations and reality don't match up.
Update:
thanks for all your ideas
My wife and I have discussed a lot in the last few days and we have come to preliminary results that I would like to share with you. These are just rough outlines, it is not New Year yet and until then we will try to refine things or things may change.
I plan to wear the belt and bra all the time, with exceptions only for special situations (air travel, beach, doctor's visits, etc.). Camryn decides whether such a situation exists and whether it is necessary not to wear the belt and bra.
my wife may decide whether I should wear thighbands in certain situations, but she may not use them as a standard part of my equipment, but only in certain situations and only for limited periods of time.
The first 6 months are a "trial period" and have a safe word. During this period, either of us can end the whole thing without giving a reason. If the safe word is mentioned, it's over immediately.
the last point is probably the most difficult for me, but we decided to do it because we think that giving up control means actually doing it. We talked a lot about how many breaks or, better said, how many orgasms I should have. There were various time periods available for a minimum number. In the end we decided to use the absolute minimum because it allows the most flexibility for my wife. I should have an orgasm at least once a month, that is what I can insist on. But Camryn can give me orgasms (as she wants), as many as she wants. I expect the number of orgasms I have to reduce significantly, currently we have sex about 3-4 times a week, but that is part of the whole thing.
As described, this is just a first draft of how the whole thing could look, it is not final yet and I am happy to accept questions and ideas
Angelina Dear Angelina, I'm delighted your my-steel will hold your body again, instead of flower pots on the wall. I am a little shocked at your strict bra regime though! is that necessary to keep you from climaxing, or is it one more instance where you go all the way because that is the Angelina way?
Angelina It is obvious that both of you have put a lot of thought into this and that you are committed to having it be a growth and learning experience. You are both lucky to have such a good partner. I suspect that even if the number of orgasms for you does not change (although I suspect it will) you will have a constant awareness that the number and timing is not under your control. I expect that how that awareness feels will be different when the control lies with your wife rather than with your father, who had a different agenda of his own.
I commend you on being strict with yourself and choosing the bra full time. That is dedication to wearing a belt and having the concept be most effective.
Angelina This sounds like a good base to start with.
Don't forget to have on a regular base a talk about your feelings and experience since the last talk. So you can adjust it on time if necessary. As I wrote before I don't think it is good to discuss it outside of the talk.
Another point you may consider. Is your orgasm what makes you happy or the intimacy and excitement you get from Camryn?
@Joh makes a very good point. Orgasms are wonderful but the quest for orgasms is sometimes a distraction from forming and maintaining good intimate relationships. I don't think this applies to @Angelina and Camryn. But I find, for myself, that have very controlled, limited access to penetrative sex lets me view female friends in a better light and helps me focus more on the intimacy, fun, excitement, and companionship.