WriterAlexis Page

Sabina

WriterAlexis But topping the list would be drinking, drugs, wrecking her car, a pregnancy scare, failing out of college, consorting with bad influences, and demonstrating a total lack of ambition on a daily basis.

As for the fear of pregnancy, I understand perfectly well (I'm in a somewhat similar situation myself), but for the rest, I don't think a chastity belt will fix anything here.

What is your parents' attitude towards masturbation? Reading your posts, I can't quite understand whether you can do it or not...

WriterAlexis

Sabina

What is your parents' attitude towards masturbation?

The church is certainly against it. My parents have always discouraged it.

It is honestly not that big a deal to me in practice. There are some days where I don't care at all, some days when I am a panty liner-exchanging rampageous ball of lust, some days where I am a Grouchy McGrouch about it, and some days when I am generally happy to not have that as a possible distraction. And even if I have access, climax is exceedingly difficult at my current dose of sertraline. For me, it is more about the principle.

Sasha

Sabina but for the rest, I don't think a chastity belt will fix anything here.

It depends if her sister wants to change, that is the only reason the belt worked for me. And others I'd imagine.

WriterAlexis

Ines

Your mother does not have to wear the belt?

She does have belts, but does not use one all of the time.

In what sense?

Right now she is staying at home rent-free while not studying or working a "real" job. There is no incentive or pressure for her to grow and better herself, except the expectation she finds a husband. Even when she does trash her life, the consequences she faces are so much lower than what I would, because mom is closer to her.

The whole reason I had to start wearing a belt was because my dad didn't want it to seem like he was favoring me by being my biological father and making only his stepdaughter wear one. So I harbor some resentment that she gets to receive favoritism in the form of breaks and privileges that I no longer have.

I am probably biased in my perception of things. And blending families is always complicated, but I just sometimes feel a certain kind of way about it sometimes.

youdontknowme

WriterAlexis The whole reason I had to start wearing a belt was because my dad didn't want it to seem like he was favoring me by being my biological father and making only his stepdaughter wear one. So I harbor some resentment that she gets to receive favoritism in the form of breaks and privileges that I no longer have.

I feel like you could easily make the case here that punishing you for your sister's behavior is not really helpful in encouraging you to be a good girl, and that ensuring fairness could be done more effectively with a consistent set of rules, rewards and punishments that apply to both. That they only have themselves to blame if you end up making worse decisions than she did, because none of your choices ever mattered.

Andrew

WriterAlexis The whole reason I had to start wearing a belt was because my dad didn't want it to seem like he was favoring me by being my biological father and making only his stepdaughter wear one. So I harbor some resentment that she gets to receive favoritism in the form of breaks and privileges that I no longer have

I think it's fucking unfair that you have to wear a belt just because your sister did stupid things. Everyone should bear the consequences of their own actions. I'm not surprised that you feel disadvantaged by the situation, especially when your sister has more privileges than you. Could you refuse to wear a belt?

WriterAlexis my current dose of sertraline

I'm not a psychiatrist, but a chastity belt and treating depression at the same time doesn't look good for me...

youdontknowme punishing you for your sister's behavior is not really helpful in encouraging you to be a good girl

Totally agree.

Sasha It depends if her sister wants to change

I'm afraid the only change her sister might want as a result of wearing the belt is to be free from it and her parents.

youdontknowme

I am with George and Andrew here. This is not like Ines's situation where the family decided to adopt a general chastity policy, if the introduction of the belts was indeed in response to one person's misbehavior.

Furthermore, while I obviously would consider

WriterAlexis Even when she does trash her life, the consequences she faces are so much lower than what I would, because mom is closer to her.

The whole reason I had to start wearing a belt was because my dad didn't want it to seem like he was favoring me by being my biological father and making only his stepdaughter wear one. So I harbor some resentment that she gets to receive favoritism in the form of breaks and privileges that I no longer have.

this bit a case of unreliable narrator, and would assume that Alexis surely did something that caused her to lose privileges that her sister enjoys, there is clearly some work to be done in terms of ensuring fair standards. Even if there is a uniform chastity policy in place, any punishments or rewards regarding that, such as gain/loss of privileges and such, should follow a clear set of rules in such case. Everyone gets the same baseline arrangement, and all deviations from that are either uniformly shared by everyone or inflicted specifically on the person who has done the deed. Any punishable misbehavior should either be specified as such in mutually agreed-upon rules or be so egregious that any reasonable person would agree that it merits a punishment. Rewards may of course be a little more ad hoc, but the reason for a reward should be announced such that consistent standards can be monitored.

Now obviously, this has so far completely ignored the matter of consent, which to me looks like it is formally there, but neither meets the standard of freely given nor of enthusiastic. That is of course an entirely different matter, but this is about a double standard. Non-consent obviously makes this worse, but even in a fully consensual arrangement, that would be a red flag that merits a serious discussion with the possibility of revoking said consent.

Angelina

WriterAlexis So I harbor some resentment that she gets to receive favoritism in the form of breaks and privileges that I no longer have.

why does your sister get breaks from the belt when you don't, even though she has more reason to wear one than you do?

Maybe it's because I'm reading a lot here today, but I haven't fully understood your story yet. That's why I'm asking briefly and precisely to get an idea.

Your sister and you both wear a chastity belt?
You have to wear it because your sister had problems and now you're being collectively punished, right?
can you masturbate?
Why does your sister get breaks from the belt and you don't?

WriterAlexis

Andrew

Could you refuse to wear a belt?

Absolutely, and I have done so before. Even the most disenfranchised, powerless persons in history still have some basic decisions to make on how exactly they will proceed. Every choice we make has consequences both positive and negative, and will impact what our lives will be like. There are always other things that can be taken away. I want to keep my phone. I want to be able to go to the library. I need transportation to do certain things. I want to be able to leave the house unchaperoned, so I can work/volunteer, because those are important to my future and I want to be able to help people. Some of those privileges my sister has have come as a result of her choice to be yoked and beholden in other fashions.

As children, there is always going to be an inherent power imbalance with our parents. And they have choices to make as well, that will have consequences, but were not necessarily done maliciously. They are going to make decisions they feel are best, the same way we do. So I will continue operating in a way which I will derive maximum benefit for myself and eventually lead me to the life that I want to be living.

a chastity belt and treating depression at the same time doesn't look good for me.

Uncorrelated. I have been manifesting anxiety and OCD for as long as I have been communicative. I will not use it as an excuse for anything, nor does it diminish my capabilities. The reason I communicate so openly about mental illness is that it is possibly the only phenomenon more heavily stigmatized in America than either female sexuality or anti-capital views. It is a medical condition that millions of us have and should be treated as such. You wouldn't suggest that a hay fever sufferer who takes diphenhydramine and experiences fatigue as a side effect be ineligible for chastity. (I also have hay fever.)

the only change her sister might want as a result of wearing the belt is to be free from it and her parents.

That is ultimately what happens for all of us, whether we want it or not. Sooner or later as we grow and mature, we move on with our lives, and they move on with theirs. I know that day is coming when I will be almost entirely independent of their rules, their belts, their oversight. But also their protection and financial support. I am just getting my ducks in a row until then and reminding myself that "This too shall pass."

Ines

Well, I in this point I see it in a similar way to her stepfather: if a girl wears it, it is better if the rest wear it too. It avoids comparisons and grievances.

George

Ines You mean like @WriterAlexis has the grievance that she is belted without a reason, as punishment for what her stepsister did?

I think it avoids grievance only if it's explicitly not seen as punishment.

If it is seen as punishment, then extending it to all siblings to treat them equal, when not all of them have "sinned" this is exactly the non-equal treatment that you wanted to avoid.

Andrew

George I think it avoids grievance only if it's explicitly not seen as punishment.

Ines Well, I in this point I see it in a similar way to her stepfather: if a girl wears it, it is better if the rest wear it too. It avoids comparisons and grievances.

If an affliction is imposed as a consequence of someone's wrongdoing, it will always be perceived as a punishment. As far as I know, there was no such situation in your family @Ines, so the attitude of individual girls towards the belt is different.

WriterAlexis

Ines

By that logic, shouldn't dad be caged too? Seems turnabout is fair play.

Ines

George You mean like @WriterAlexis has the grievance that she is belted without a reason, as punishment for what her stepsister did?

Do not forget that she wears her belt as the result of a deal.

WriterAlexis By that logic, shouldn't dad be caged too? Seems turnabout is fair play.

No chastity belt for men in my family. It is a girls thing.

Women have to act and behave as women, and men as men.

Ines

George You mean like @WriterAlexis has the grievance that she is belted without a reason, as punishment for what her stepsister did?

Well, I think it is not a punishment, but a, -wrong-, way to solve some problems. Since her sister had problems with behaviors very improper for girls, it is very reasonable that they think in a chastity belt as a solution.
Since her mother has to wear the belt too, and nobody is forced to wear it, I think that there is not room for complaints.

WriterAlexis

youdontknowme

this bit a case of unreliable narrator, and would assume that Alexis surely did something that caused her to lose privileges that her sister enjoys

I did say that my perception was probably biased.

But yes, I have done things wrong. Most of them I am not actually being punished for in themselves, it is lying about them afterwards. Once your credibility is broken, you have to work very, very hard to retrieve it. My point was only that if my sister had done the same things, she would have a much easier time getting out of it. She is older, and I am always going to be just the middle child.

Sabina

WriterAlexis Every choice we make has consequences both positive and negative, and will impact what our lives will be like. There are always other things that can be taken away. I want to keep my phone. I want to be able to go to the library. I need transportation to do certain things. I want to be able to leave the house unchaperoned

In my opinion, what you write is evidence of obvious coercion on the part of your parents, if you are threatened with being denied such basic things if you give up the belt.

WriterAlexis I have been manifesting anxiety and OCD for as long as I have been communicative

If I may ask, does your OCD have anything to do with sexuality?

WriterAlexis That is ultimately what happens for all of us, whether we want it or not. Sooner or later as we grow and mature,

But often children who suffer harm from their parents decide to become independent prematurely in order to free themselves from opresion. Sometimes it may also be a loss for themselves.

Sin

WriterAlexis I have been manifesting anxiety and OCD for as long as I have been communicative.

WriterAlexis unmedicated and left to my own devices, it would become highly compulsive during high stress times. I can remember the weeks before some of my academic tests or some of the swimming/horseback competitions I was doing, my membranes would be raw and inflamed in the morning.

This hits home for me and brings up all sorts of issues I'm still trying to work through as a 30-something adult. As a teenager I was (very inappropriately) misdiagnosed for what was essentially a physical condition, and heavily medicated with antidepressants that I didn't need, and certainly didn't want. I'm mid 30s now and only just coming to terms with my own libido as a result.

Not to say I disagree with your mental health diagnosis... just that antipsychs are a slippery slope and if you ever want to come off them, you might be in for a hell of a ride. HINT: Don't go cold turkey like I did.

Milord

WriterAlexis I want to keep my phone. I want to be able to go to the library. I need transportation to do certain things. I want to be able to leave the house unchaperoned, so I can work/volunteer, because those are important to my future and I want to be able to help people.

I haven’t read this before. As a parent I would encourage this, and I will be proud of my son should he decide to help others and volunteer.
In my opinion a parent should provide this, tied to economical situation, and not use it as a trade off to impose things (not only CB of course).

youdontknowme

WriterAlexis Ines is from a very conservative catholic family and has rather strong views on different roles for different genders.

youdontknowme

Sabina In my opinion, what you write is evidence of obvious coercion on the part of your parents, if you are threatened with being denied such basic things if you give up the belt.

I mean, we know nothing about how old she is, but I would say if she is old enough to wear a belt, things like being able to own a phone or visit the library seem like fairly unreasonable restrictions to enforce on a daughter who does not comply with fairly tall parental demands.

WriterAlexis

Sabina

If I may ask, does your OCD have anything to do with sexuality?

Yes. I think it was entirely ancillary to the decision for me to be in chastity because I doubt my parents know the extent, but unmedicated and left to my own devices, it would become highly compulsive during high stress times. I can remember the weeks before some of my academic tests or some of the swimming/horseback competitions I was doing, my membranes would be raw and inflamed in the morning. I did not tell the psychiatrists about what I was doing, because masturbation (especially female) has so much shame attached to it from religious indoctrination, despite being a normal, healthy part of childhood sexual development. Of course, even then it must be engaged in with appropriate levels of privacy and moderation.

Ines

Laura Does she have to?

I understand that her mother has to wear the belt even her rules are a bit different of her daughters rules.

Angelina why does your sister get breaks from the belt when you don't, even though she has more reason to wear one than you do?

It is a great question for @WriterAlexis

WriterAlexis

Angelina

Summary post.

Your sister and you both wear a chastity belt?

Me and older step-sister do. Younger half-sister is still elementary age.

You have to wear it because your sister had problems and now you're being collectively punished, right?

Basically. I wouldn't necessarily use the word "punish" here, but a decision was made and applied to both of us to supposedly increase fairness and avoid strife.

can you masturbate?

At the risk of pendantry knowing English is not your primary language (and an incredible job you have done in mastering it! @angelina) I will split this into two answers.

May I masturbate? The weird, cultish church some dude in New York made up about a dead angel, some gold plates buried in the ground, Jesus living in America, and an ancient tribe of Israelites crossing the Atlantic ocean 2,000 years before Columbus, no. It is sinful. And the kool-aid sipping parental units buy into that.

Can I masturbate? I do not have much opportunity to do so at the moment. Additionally, because of medication that is vitally important to me, and I am so exceedingly grateful for the economic position my family is in to afford it (compared to yours, the heathcare in this country is even more backward than our religious notions) it is exceedingly difficult for me to achieve orgasm under ecen ideal circumstances.

Why does your sister get breaks from the belt and you don't?

She is older and more independent than me.
She was, is, and forever shall be the Golden Child.
I have also made some mistakes of my own since then. Despite whatever level of maturity I may or may not have, I now recognize that I am a human who still needs to grow if I am to be the moral, ethical being that I ultimately wish to be. And the scariest thing about that does not have anything to do with parental oversight, chastity belts, or punishments. It is that I may never actually reach that state and I remain a deeply flawed, broken creature eeking out its meager existence until it ahuffles off this mortal coil. I want to be the person I should be, I just don't know if I can.

Sabina

youdontknowme Judging by the highly intellectual writing style, she is a mature person, at least at the high school level, although I think she is older.

youdontknowme

Sabina If she were below high school level and her parents were making her wear a chastity belt, that should ring several alarm bells and get a whole lot of authorities involved.