Should only females get belted?

Joh

Angelina i will always ask @Sara2001 if she is ok with it

I will as well.

Angelina

Joh I will as well.

😉

Vanessa

Sara2001 I also be reminded rhe next days when I sit or things like that.

My parents like I've this sort of reminder,too.

Sara2001 Yes, we talk about the incident during my lesson. If I haven't done anything wrong, I don't get a punishment.

Good.

Sara2001 ut it is clear that I only make a suggestion and I wrap my suggestion in "if this is what you like, too" sentences, to make sure he knows, that what ever he wants, is absolutely okay for me, too.

That is not very discussing...But good he knows your opinion,at least(even if I still think discussing is better).

Sara2001 I think I wouldn't be a good leader. We had talks about this since we know eachother, we don't see a good way to do it. It's more like a mental barrier, I don't feel comfortable and very insecure when I am in charge, so he can't feel how strict leadership feels like.

Even for a short duration?

Sara2001 Yes, he wants to know this.

More fair.

Sara2001

Good way to act.

Sara2001

Vanessa That is not very discussing

Yes, we talk about things and we talk about our wishes and opinions and points of view, but I never discuss things with him in a sense of dispute.

Vanessa Even for a short duration?

Yes, I would think to much about everything and would forget anything at the same time. 🙂

Angelina

Sara2001 Yes, I would think to much about everything and would forget anything at the same time. 🙂

i understand, but i was thinking again, apart from the fact that he could better put himself in your role, another point would be very important, you give him a very big gift and bear a lot for him to make he happy. he should perhaps learn through this how grateful he can be to you, this is certainly the case now even without role reversal but after a few years it can become too routine and then it might be an idea (i hope you understand what i mean) 🙂

Vanessa

Sara2001 in a sense of dispute.

I didn't mean discussing this way.

Sara2001

Too bad,I think it would have been good for you and your boyfriend...

Angelina

I agree.

Sara2001

You have also a good example on how a leader could act,with your father.

Sara2001

Angelina i understand, but i was thinking again, apart from the fact that he could better put himself in your role, another point would be very important, you give him a very big gift and bear a lot for him to make he happy. he should perhaps learn through this how grateful he can be to you, this is certainly the case now even without role reversal but after a few years it can become too routine and then it might be an idea (i hope you understand what i mean)

Yes, but to feel how life in submission really is, you need a good leader. I think he has learned that from his father. As a child he had strict rules and consequences and they where lowered with him getting older. It's not like my brother who never had strinct rules like us.

Angelina

Sara2001 Yes, but to feel how life in submission really is, you need a good leader.

well, at least here on the forum you don't seem like you could not also be a leader 😉

Joh

Sara2001 you need a good leader.

Why should you are not able to learn it? He has the advantage of example and guidance. You need time to get use of it and experience. Than you will find out if you could lead or not.

Angelina

Joh

I think the problem for @Sara2001 is rather who she should lead. i think there are people who she can lead them, but probably no men are part of it 😂

Vanessa You have also a good example on how a leader could act,with your father.

As I said to Joh, she can probably lead women, but not men

Sara2001

Joh You need time to get use of it

Definitely to much effort to get an idea of how it is. We are not looking forward to achieve this.

Vanessa You have also a good example on how a leader could act,with your father.

Yes but eating good food doesn't mean you can cook good food.

Joh There are enough men in Germany who do not want to lead but to be led.

Even if there would be enough man, I don't want to lead them.

Angelina i think it would feel wrong for her. but i would say that here in the forum she sometimes shows herself dominant towards other users, especially towards us women.

I don't feel the need to lead anyone and you, I am used to have strong conversations with women and I am very used in "fighting" for my opinion and that not everything that is different in my life then in the life of the majority of people is wrong.

Joh

Angelina I think the problem for @Sara2001 is rather who she should lead. i think there are people who she can lead them, but probably no men are part of it

I doubt it. There are enough men in Germany who do not want to lead but to be led. And if she doesn't love him it might even be easier. 😉

Vanessa

Angelina As I said to Joh, she can probably lead women, but not men

The bases would be similar,I think.

Joh Yes, I agree. This is why I wrote she has to change her mindset first before she try it over some time.

I think so,too.

gwen

No problem,it was interesting to know.

Angelina

Joh There are enough men in Germany who do not want to lead but to be led.

i don't doubt it 😉 but i think that because of her upbringing she would be able to lead women but not men.

Joh

Angelina but i think that because of her upbringing she would be able to lead women but not men.

It is only a mind set at first hand. She has to try out and see how it goes on and what feeling she has during doing it.

Angelina

Joh It is only a mind set at first hand. She has to try out and see how it goes on and what feeling she has during doing it.

maybe @Sara2001 can answer the question herself, because i have the theory that she can't because of her upbringing, because she has always learned that men take the dominant role, i think it would feel wrong for her. but i would say that here in the forum she sometimes shows herself dominant towards other users, especially towards us women.

gwen And perhaps non-binary people too? 🙂

I am at a loss 😂

i'm not even sure how to define non-binary people. i respect everyone regardless of gender, but i find this term horrible (just my opinion)

Joh

Angelina i think it would feel wrong for her

Yes, I agree. This is why I wrote she has to change her mindset first before she try it over some time.

Angelina I am at a loss

I am not sure either what @gwen want to say. Maybe non-binary means real people. Here at the forum we ware only bits and byts?

Angelina

Joh I am not sure either what @gwen want to say. Maybe non-binary means real people. Here at the forum we ware only bits and byts?

i know what non-binary people means, i meant i am overwhelmed with the question 😂

gwen The popular short form these days is enby, which sounds cute compared to non-binary.

i would make it easier. if you don't want me to see you as a man or a woman, then just as a human being 🙂

gwen

In my country it is called divers (I also find this term terrible).

Vanessa The bases would be similar,I think.

not if someone has learned it completely differently

Joh

gwen Sorry to derail the thread. I could not resist the educational opportunity!

No problem at all. And thank you. Now I know more and hope I can handle a situation in the right way the next time when it comes to it.

Vanessa

Angelina not if someone has learned it completely differently

I think it is better than not even knowing the bases.

Ines However, if you want discuss about this, open another topic, please.

Right;it would be better in a dedicated topic.

Sara2001 Yes but eating good food doesn't mean you can cook good food.

More easily than if you only eat junk food,I think(I want to precise that I don't compare your relationship with your boyfriend to junk food,however!😉 ).

Joh you can finally decide of it if you get the experience of the other side

I think so,too.

Joh But if you are happy with it that counts.

Right.

Ines

Biology is stubborn, no matter who becomes mad with this. Black is always absence of light.
However, if you want discuss about this, open another topic, please.

Angelina

gwen

@Ines wants to poetically point out to us that this discussion does not fit the thread 😉

Sara2001 Yes but eating good food doesn't mean you can cook good food.

hmm... should I contradict now ??? hmm... 😂

Sara2001 I am very used in "fighting" for my opinion and that not everything that is different in my life then in the life of the majority of people is wrong.

yes, it shows and you always manage to impress me. i agree with you completely, but the question is not how much you fight for your opinion and your lifestyle but whether you can apply it equally to both genders (i'll leave out the third gender) 🙂

Joh

Sara2001 Definitely to much effort to get an idea of how it is. We are not looking forward to achieve this.

This is a valid argument.

Sara2001 Even if there would be enough man, I don't want to lead them.

This was not meant for you but a general answer to the statement of @Angelina

Sara2001 I don't feel the need to lead anyone and you, I am used to have strong conversations with women and I am very used in "fighting" for my opinion and that not everything that is different in my life then in the life of the majority of people is wrong.

Sorry. I didn't get it. What do you want to point out?

Sara2001 I am perfectly happy when others do it in their relationship in any think able combination. If this makes them happy, why should it be wrong? As you can see here, there are man man who are looking for a keyholder and I am sure there are many woman who love to have this power, but for me, for my personal life, not in general, but only for my relationship, it feels only right when the man is in charge and I am following his decisions, rules and wishes while he takes care of anything I need. This is what makes me happy and relaxed.

I agree and this is the only important point. If you are happy than it is the right thing to do. I hope it will be for a long time or forever.

Sara2001 Making big decisions, especially making big decisions that impact others with nobody else who double check my decision would stress me a lot and I am honestly impressed how well Daniel is able to do it.

I agree and I am not sure if I could do it all time independent how I feel at this moment. I am impressed.

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