Jen It just worries me so much like I feel like I should give up on it but thinking that worries me.

Hi @Jen! Stick your belt in the cupboard and just do your thing for a little while. Don't stress. There are so many unrealistic expectations regarding what chastity "should" be, particularly on this site. It's just not the reality for the vast majority of users, despite what you read on here. I've had a crisis of confidence so many times I've lost count!

If it's not working for you then don't force it. Take a break. Or change it up and go play on Emlalock or something. It might be a fun way to challenge yourself! (Just be careful of all the creepy predators).

      @Jen ... And make sure you come back and say hi every now and then or else!

        Jen Hi Jen, nice to hear from you.
        Not nice, you feel Bad. I agree with @Sin and the Others, If it doesn't feel right stop for some time get yourself in balance, feel were you want to Go and than Do it.You are free in your decision and you are not accountable to no one.

            Sin It's just not the reality for the vast majority of users, despite what you read on here.

            True

            Sin And make sure you come back and say hi every now and then or else!

            Even more true.

                Joh You are free in your decision and you are not accountable to no one.

                very important point, @Jen does not have to justify herself to anyone, not to her parents and not here in the forum, she should do what makes her happy. 🙂

                  Joh You are free in your decision and you are not accountable to no one.

                  Yep just me - thought about it but I've locked myself now. Yeah I dunno - it's like the belt is freedom too.

                      Jen
                      I guess from the little you have told us, that the belt is not the issue but the overall situation.
                      If I remember correctly, you just finished school and are about to enter a new phase of your life and a lot of things will be different. Old friendships and contacts will sometimes fade a bit to the background and new things require your attention.
                      It is not uncommon to feel a bit lost in such a situation. Don`t worry, thousands of young people experience the same every year and eventually come out on the other side of that step stronger and more prepared to face the next phase of life.

                          Jen I'm glad you're still here, and glad you have decided to stay in the belt. Of course, we will respect and support you if you decide to step out of it for a while. (I mean, it's US, so at least some of us will try to convince you to go back into lockup, but we're nice about it, I hope!) In the end, you have to do what's best for you and taking the belt was a big step.

                            Jen

                            Not sure if I got this right. Do you mean that trying to be good is a problem?

                            Or that there is an unidentified problem; while you try to be good?

                            • Jen replied to this.

                                Jen But trying to be too like actually good like church good - yeah it's not me

                                It sounds like your goal is the wrong one.
                                I think it is time for you to realise what can be an achievable goal, what you need and what is good for you. After you have figured it out, so it.

                                  Jen Belt ain't the problem I decided. But trying to be too like actually good like church good - yeah it's not me

                                  The underlying problem seems to be:
                                  You have not clearly defined for yourself what is actually your goal. There are expectations of your parents which may or may not overlap with what you want for yourself. Don't get me wrong, when you are young it is absolutely normal not to know what you want and needing time (and maybe even trial and error) to figure that out.
                                  Take your time, don't hurry things. Eventually you will know what you really need in order to be happy. That might be a life completely without belt, a life 24/7/365 in strict belting or anything in between. In the end it does not matter what it is, only that you have figured out for you, what your goal is and then go for that goal unafraid.
                                  When you are 80, you are more likely to regret the things you never did / experienced because you did not have the courage to take that path than to regret something you actually did and tried and that turned out as something you found not live up to your expectations.

                                    Owl Not sure if I got this right. Do you mean that trying to be good is a problem?

                                    I was trying to avoid frustration completely - like avoid thoughts even. And yeah that was a problem.

                                        Jen

                                        it's not possible, frustration is part of chastity, it just happens. the question is rather what makes you happy overall and what your goals are. take the time to think about it. 🙂

                                          3 months later

                                          Joh I think the best thing will be for the UN to dissolve and the states to form something new.

                                          What if the nations all got together and started some kind of league, through which they could promote world peace?

                                              Laura
                                              Thank you SO much for posting this! I keep seeing references to it here, but I couldn't find the discussion on misterpoll.

                                                  MissBlossom
                                                  Hate to burst your bubble, but all that has from the beginning always been about power and influence, never about world peace. The League of Nations formed after WW1 excluded Germany and the dominating powers therefore were UK, France and USA. After WW2 when the UN were established, it was not by accident that those countries with permanent representation and veto power happened to be those that actually won the war.
                                                  (For those who are not aware:
                                                  China as permanent member was originally actually the country we know as Taiwan (Republik China) and only 1971 it was replaced by the China we know today under that name.) And China / Taiwan became a permanent member to actually give an Asian country the edge over Japan in the eastern Asian area.

                                                      MissBlossom What if the nations all got together and started some kind of league, through which they could promote world peace?

                                                      It would be a beginning. The biggest barrier to getting anything sensible done is unanimity. Since, for example, in the Security Council each of the permanent members has a veto, no action will ever be taken if one of the powers represented is involved in the conflict.
                                                      I think binding decisions and sanctions should be decided by a two-thirds majority.