Refusing

Jen

It arrived today and was brought out in the evening once Dad was home. Seeing it made things easier - I was more convinced they really couldn't make me wear that.

I ran through my practiced speech; I'm not going to wear it not even try it. Doesn't matter what was agreed it is ridiculous. You can't ground me for not trying it isn't fair what would your friends say if you told them why I was grounded.
Mum was getting really upset but it's Dad's words I remember. He says it isn't a punishment it is to provide me a strength I don't have myself and he says Mum was a proper virgin when they married and that was really special. I was trying to say no-one cares about that any more but he goes on. He said Mum showed him the toy I had and what I said about it and then he said I have unrealistic expectations of guys. I felt.. I don't know it was like the part of myself which is how I think they see me just crashed. I ran to my room and have been here since. Eventually dad brought me my phone, I don't know what that means or what will happen tomorrow.

James

Jen ...Hello Jen. I'm very sorry you had such a rough evening. What did he mean by "I have unrealistic expectations of guys".

Angelina

Jen

hello, i'm sorry that the conversation didn't go so well, but i always wonder why it wasn't talked about calmly beforehand. now the belt is here and so is the drama. i hope that you won't be punished too harshly for refusing the belt, because it could change your decision if the punishment is too high.

a_father

Jen As expected. If you now try wearing it, you loose your freedom. The next days will be hard, but I hope they accept your decission. You should make clear, you need no protection, especially no chastity belt. You can tell them, you make it public if they force you (if there is no other way to stop them). Believe me, they want such things to stay secret. Now your father will try to talk to you and perhapse make promises. But your freedom is your freedom. If you give in, you've lost. Compromises are not a solution either. A chastity belt is just not negotiable. I hope they understand. Otherwise you will need outside help. Things will become better with time. Tell them how you feel and that you see a chastity belt as sexual abuse. Ask them, who else in the family, neighbourhood, friends have to wear such a thing and why they think, this can solve problems you don't have.

Renita

Jen Ask them for the key from the belt before any further negotiations.

Vanessa

Jen

Not an easy situation.

It seems the part about your sex-toy,and what they thought about it,have been harder emotionally than the belt;I guess because you haven't expected it.

I doubt your parents change their mind,even if your father gave back your phone,but they may understand it is hard for you and are willing to take enough time to try to convince you,without using too strict restrictions.

Why have you changed your mind,to not give it a try?Even if already knowing you would not accept(what they should not know,if you tell them you agree to try it),you may try it,it would give your parents the feelings you try to do a step too.It would not solve the problem,but make the situation less tense and prove them you have tried,instead or rejecting it immediately.It can help a bit for other talks.

James

I guess he talked about the size of her sex-toy...

Renita

Good idea.Even if I doubt they would not give her her key if she tell them she would stop wearing it(and,anyway,firefighters,locksmith,etc...can destroy/open it).

Jen will not talk about it again.

I strongly doubt they say it's ok and put it in the bin without any talks...

Jen

I've had a chance to look at it some more this morning. It's so small I guess it's a hip belt while most pictures are waist. One lock at the front - no key in it - and the front is all shielded and part of the belt. It's so weird thinking about where that's supposed to go.
It's got the little rings on the side like wtf that's not standard is it? On the website it looks like that's extra.

Vanessa Why have you changed your mind,to not give it a try?

If they put it in my room with the key I'd try it even if never reading here I think I'd be curious but argh yes I want to try my belt. Calling it that is weird.
I don't want my parents to control me like this. Trying it changes things. I reject the whole concept.

Vanessa I strongly doubt they say it's ok and put it in the bin without any talks...

But what I say is what I can control if I'm clear and calm about it in advance. I can argue I shouldn't be grounded but if I lose its ok. I can't argue about the belt I can't stay calm but I can just stick with no. So I don't need to listen to them about it I can just be stubborn.

Angelina i always wonder why it wasn't talked about calmly beforehand.

There was a talk before it arrived, but what I agreed to was like crushing me. I feel better now than back then.

James Vanessa said it. I don't want to talk about it.

RafaelGV

a_father They will punish her out of spite, which is unfortunate because parents shouldn't be spiteful. They are older, more mature and therefore should be the "bigger person".

Angelina

a_father Compromises are not a solution either. A chastity belt is just not negotiable.

even though i agree with a large part of your post, this sentence is nonsense.

Jen I'm calmer thinking I've refused and will not talk about it again.

consequent decision, the next time will be difficult for sure but i am sure you will manage 🙂

Jen It's got the little rings on the side like wtf that's not standard is it? On the website it looks like that's extra.

the rings are for thigh bands

Jen If they put it in my room with the key I'd try it even if never reading here I think I'd be curious but argh yes I want to try my belt. Calling it that is weird.
I don't want my parents to control me like this. Trying it changes things. I reject the whole concept.

i can understand that you are curious, but believe me, after a while the frustration is bigger than the curiosity. the curiosity becomes everyday life and unfortunately the frustration as well. 🙁

Jen Yes I read those threads but was surprised to see they were ordered. Some of the writing about thighbands seems the most unbelievable.

but thigh bands have not been ordered yet, have they? probably your parents wanted to test how you react to the belt first and then order the thigh bands later.

Jen to offer me a new phone as a reward when I get started with the belt.

You should not let yourself be bought and a new mobile phone is by far not valuable enough to give up so much.

Jen

Renita Ask them for the key from the belt before any further negotiations.

Any kind of negotiation I worry I will lose. I get very emotional too. asking for the key means I'm considering putting it on which means what I don't know. I'm calmer thinking I've refused and will not talk about it again.

Joh

Jen He said Mum showed him the toy I had and what I said about it and then he said I have unrealistic expectations of guys

There is not only one type of man there are many different. That is why it is so difficult to find the right one. Applies to both sides.
My first time was with a woman who had experience. It was a great experience and not a disaster, which can easily come out if you do not know how to deal with each other.

Do not agree to try it.

You will find the right one because you are the way you are. 👍️ 👏

Joh

Jen I'm calmer thinking I've refused and will not talk about it again.

Good decision. 👍️

Renita

Jen Any kind of negotiation I worry I will lose.

But you can't avoid it in your situation, so you should try to strengthen your position.

Vanessa Even if I doubt they would not give her her key if she tell them she would stop wearing it

It would be harder if she agreed initially.

Joh

Vanessa Why have you changed your mind,to not give it a try?Even if already knowing you would not accept(what they should not know,if you tell them you agree to try it),you may try it,it would give your parents the feelings you try to do a step too.It would not solve the problem,but make the situation less tense and prove them you have tried,instead or rejecting it immediately.It can help a bit for other talks.

Read about Salami tactics
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salami_tactics
If @Jen try it I fear it will be the first step to losing.

RafaelGV

Joh it's like salami tactics but perhaps less nefarious. This is rather petty instead.

Vanessa

Jen it's a hip belt

Less restrictive about clothes.

Jen and the front is all shielded and part of the belt.

Yes,no detachable secondary shield on My-Steel ones.

Jen It's got the little rings on the side like wtf that's not standard is it? On the website it looks like that's extra.

It is for making possible to use thigh bands.

Jen If they put it in my room with the key I'd try it even if never reading here I think I'd be curious but argh yes I want to try my belt. Calling it that is weird.

I can understand you're curious about ti.

Jen I don't want my parents to control me like this. Trying it changes things. I reject the whole concept.

And if you has the key in your hand?

Jen But what I say is what I can control if I'm clear and calm about it in advance. I can argue I shouldn't be grounded but if I lose its ok. I can't argue about the belt I can't stay calm but I can just stick with no. So I don't need to listen to them about it I can just be stubborn.

I understand your reaction,but I think it would be a bit tense at your home,at least for some time...

Good luck;I hope you would be able to avoid it,without too many restrictions!

James

Jen Got it. I thought you meant personality. Sorry.

The rings are for the thighbands, which is what @Angelina wears.

Jen But what I say is what I can control if I'm clear and calm about it in advance. I can argue I shouldn't be grounded but if I lose its ok. I can't argue about the belt I can't stay calm but I can just stick with no. So I don't need to listen to them about it I can just be stubborn.

True. But you may need to be for a long while.

Joh

Jen If they put it in my room with the key I'd try it even if never reading here I think I'd be curious but argh yes I want to try my belt. Calling it that is weird.
I don't want my parents to control me like this. Trying it changes things. I reject the whole concept.

The risk is the key is not the key of the lock.
If the find out you tried the belt bay asking you and they will know if you lie or not than you did the first step on the road to wear it 24/7.

Jen But what I say is what I can control if I'm clear and calm about it in advance. I can argue I shouldn't be grounded but if I lose its ok. I can't argue about the belt I can't stay calm but I can just stick with no. So I don't need to listen to them about it I can just be stubborn.

I agreed with this tactic. It is a good way.
If you feel unsure and need additional help call Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800.

Jen

James The rings are for the thighbands

Yes I read those threads but was surprised to see they were ordered. Some of the writing about thighbands seems the most unbelievable.

Vanessa And if you has the key in your hand?

This is hard to answer it's not something I expect. I best not take it I think yes if they offer this then it is part of their trying to change my mind.

Vanessa

James True. But you may need to be for a long while.

Which can be hard...

Joh The risk is the key is not the key of the lock.

It is not hard to check it;and yes,it she should check it before.

Joh If the find out you tried the belt bay asking you and they will know if you lie or not than you did the first step on the road to wear it 24/7.

If the key is not the right one,she would not put the belt on her,if it is the right one,she can try secretly and tell her parents she had not.Checking is the key(😉).

Jen

At least,they told you they understand you(even if they probably don't understand it is an important subject for you).

Ines Anyway, if you think the right is wear the belt, wear it, if you think it is not the right choice, do not wear it.

Clear and right.

Angelina i can understand that you are curious, but believe me, after a while the frustration is bigger than the curiosity. the curiosity becomes everyday life and unfortunately the frustration as well. 🙁

It is the reason she can try it if she's curious,but only if sure the key is the right one,and not tell her parents that she tried it.

Renita But you can't avoid it in your situation, so you should try to strengthen your position.

If she doesn't want to talk about it,she can avoid it.Even if not talking together is rarely the best decision,in such situation...

Renita It would be harder if she agreed initially.

Possible,yes.

a_father no boyfriend (with a little bit more than kissing)

Harder,but possible,even with chastity devices.There is several examples here.

Lana In my case I needed extra privilage so I agreed to wear it

Why haven't you choose freedom instead?

Lana If you really want to know how it feels, just try it on when your parents are not home and remove them after a while

I agree.

Lana they could use it as a punishment

It was the case for me,mainly for masturbating or having sex.

And now,I wear it permanently...

Jen I posted it because I was frustrated they offered

Understandable.

Jen Mum cares about hymen

As you've not your hymen anymore,can't you use it to make them understand it is useless to use a chastity belt now?

Jen I notice some disagreement between Mum and Dad.

It can be good for you,if they don't agree about your chastity belt.

Abby82 If you can't avoid the belt completely, your best bet would be to negotiate unsupervised breaks or even access to your keys.

It would be the "less worst" situation,yes.

Angelina such discussions are held before anything is ordered or measured.

It should,yes.

Renita Then you might need to wear a belt just for yourself.

But then,it should be her choice,not what her parents want.And it is not the case.

Gina

Would you keep your chastity belt on,if you were free to decide,without any consequences?

Laura

And we're pretty skilled at making trolls go away.Except our martial troll 👹 ,always welcomed!😉

Joh They tray to see the nice things in her live. Nevertheless if they could get rid of it they would do it in an instant.

Exactly!🙂

Ines Truly, your parents did not do anything rightly in this process.

I agree.

Jen There is no bands, Dad confirmed there was nothing else. But there is the rings for attaching them.

Good.But,for several of us,there was "only" the chastity belt at first,and,then they added a chastity bra and/or the thigh bands...

Angelina i disagree that there is no happiness here, many girls are unhappy with the belt, but not unhappy in life as a whole 🙂

I can confirm!🙂

Renita Why didn't you ask what was it for if you didn't guess yourself?

As far as i understand,she knew why they measured her,but didn't believe they would do it.

Gina my parents have me wear it because they love me and want the right things for me

And do you agree with them?

Ines

Jen Some of the writing about thighbands seems the most unbelievable.

Agree.

Jen Yes I read those threads but was surprised to see they were ordered.

They are useful to avoid stimulation. It is pretty logical you have to use them (if finally you agree to wear the belt).
Anyway, if you think the right is wear the belt, wear it, if you think it is not the right choice, do not wear it.

Jen

They just don't get it. I've mostly avoided them today but a little talk and they say they understand it is a big step and want to offer me a new phone as a reward when I get started with the belt. Like I don't even need a new phone and that they think this is some kind of good deal...

Joh

Jen want to offer me a new phone as a reward when I get started with the belt

You have to decide what is important for you. If it acceptable to sell your sexuality or not.

I believe the development of your sexuality it very important. Their is a lot information at the web about the different kind of it and you should freely find out what fits to you. It starts with what you like and dislike when you explore your body, if you feel more female, male or unspecific. Further you can find out if you like to be together more with male, female or both.
https://au.reachout.com/articles/understanding-your-sexuality

If you find out you will not explore it by yourself alone and you will save it until you found Mr. Right or Ms. Right than do it.

It is your decision and only yours.

RafaelGV

Jen This is disturbing. They are bargaining for something that is unnegotiable. I hope in the end cooler heads prevail.

a_father

Jen It's a bad deal. The new phone is for now, but you change it for the chastity belt for a very long time. What costs a new phone? Divide the price by 24 months or more, then you know how cheap you sold your sexuality. Don't forget: No swimming pool in summer, no boyfriend (with a little bit more than kissing), no orgasms for a very long time, a lot of cleaning of the belt, always the fear someone could notice it. You give up your freedom. How another member said here: It's prison for your pussy. (Sorry for the wording...). You should try to get help aditionally. Do you have grandparents? How do they think about it? Be careful if you try the belt. Check the key before. I'm sure, you are on your road to permanent chastity, if you try the belt and put it on.
If nothing helps, you should call for help by the authorities or other organisations.