Joh Do you really mean that or is that just lip service?
Of course I mean this. Like it is written here. I don't support it. That doesn't mean that I fight against it as hard as I can, but I think it shouldn't happen.
Joh If this would be trough why was it changed? Why are so many books available if it has no effect?
I haven't said that it had no effect, I didn't said it's harmless, I didn't say it can't cause harm.
gwen Communication is critical in an unequal relationship like ours.
Communication is everything. If the communication hasn't happen before, I would say you are doing it very wrong. A safe word is needed for BDSM play and for people who don't know eachother. I would never submit to someone who can't understand my reactions good enough to know what to do.
gwen I can't imagine forcing that burden upon my dominant partner.
He has so much power over me, so I think I can demand from him to take care of me. I don't have the feeling that it is a burdon for him but that it just feel natural for him.
Vanessa Important part,yes,but you can't decide to stop only the spanking part of it.
We can talk about everything and we talk about everything and if I tell him that spankings feel wrong for me, he will listen and he will change things. But he has the final saying, except of the two points I talked about. But he knows this, too. So he will of course do something. Having a lot of power comes with a lot of responsibility.
Vanessa It doesn't relate well to your maintenance spankings...
I like the maintenance session, but honestly I wouldn't need my behind spanked every week in combination with corner time. But it is not punishment. I don't feel guilty before or after maintenance, so it is something completely different for me.
gwen There is plenty of research into the history of domestic violence against women.
Does any of these researches differ between abuse and consensual discipline? Does any of these researches differ between all the kind of discipline and how it is done? It's a different like day and night if someone hits his women for fun or anger or out of nothing for the woman compared with spankings in a calm situation after having an objective talk about an issue that needs to be fixed with her being allowed to explain her point of view and him explaining his point of view and at the end he decides that a spanking is needed.
How objective have these studies bin? What was the mindset of the people who did them? I am pretty sure non of them was in favour of physical discipline like I described it.
I mostly completely agree to the results when it is an abusive way of force. This is what I call beating. But I have never seen a studie that focuses on what I call discipline or the differences between both things.
Even inside of abuse there are giant differences. It's just modern to summarize everything to one big thing. Because this big thing then includes all the abuse, it must be hates. But if you would separate the different kinds and aspect, you would see something completely different.
