markules Would you mind listing a few of the major (dis)advantages of masturbation and chastity in marriage?
I guess I accept that masturbation can compensate when one party has a higher sex drive than the other, or serve when people are apart. However, masturbation, as a regular solo activity, seems to me to go against the idea of a union between two people. I don't in any way think of it as a "sin", just something to be wary of:
To my mind, self-gratification short-circuits the need to make the effort to maintain a loving, sexual, relationship with a partner. I see porn and masturbation as having the potential to be addictive (time-consuming) and divisive. Eg: Where a partner is always staying up late masturbating, time together is lost both in the evening and morning. Intimacy can also be lost.
Conversely, chastity is fun game and one that's common enough in couples to be mentioned in sex/relationship guides. Chastity is also often used to save oneself for the person you love. This can be while you're looking for a life-partner, but it can also be true at any point in a relationship. Interestingly chastity belts can also handle some mismatched sex drives as the belt can make some wearers feel like they are constantly having sex, or constantly being looked after. Eg: I feel in no way neglected by being in chastity!
The disadvantages of chastity belts are obviously revolve around the fact that if taken to the furthest extent this they entirely block sexual penetration. This can be a problem or no problem at all depending on how you have sex, and what you both consider to be sex. Orgasm provides an end to sexual experience so in its absence steps have to be taken to manage frustration (keep things positive) and to ensure that the sex drive doesn't then dominate and detract from other aspects of your life together.
I could imagine a future like yours. Giving my wife the key to my chastity cage/belt as sign of love, not as a sign of submission. Something like: "I trust you so much, I am giving you complete control about my sexuality"
We have a relationship of equals, yes. We also have huge trust, which is so cool. Where I am weak she is strong (and hopefully vice-versa). In the case of sex I feel myself to be very weak, so it makes sense to us for her to be in charge of that aspect. Together we are then stronger, which is as it should be.
Do you frequently have spontaneous ejaculations such as wet dreams?
Are you also constantly dripping?
No. I sometimes leak a bit if we're messing about, but tbh we try to avoid this and treat it as a sign we've gone a bit far with me.